I am…Captain Haphazard!
It’s easy for me to focus on the scale and use that as the metric for how I’m progressing — or failing to progress. The thing is, though, losing weight is only part of the equation. I also need to train better.
I’ve known for a long time that the best way for me to accomplish both these things is for me to hire a trainer. Someone who will give me a regimented diet. Someone who will plan out my training — how far to ride on which days, what kind of rides to go on, what kind of effort to expend, and so forth.
I know all this, and yet I never hire a trainer.
Wait, I should restate that: I know all this, and that’s why I never hire a trainer.
I Embrace My Inner-Randomness
The truth is, I love the haphazard nature of my training. When I go out riding, I like to go out on the ride that sounds like the most fun at the moment. Some days that’s a flat ride, some days it’s full of hills. Some days I go at my "all-day" pace, some days I go as hard as I can until I completely blow up.
Some days I ride on a road bike, some days I’m on a mountain bike. Whatever I feel like. I have never burned out on biking in more than ten years, because I’m always doing what I want to do.
It’s haphazard, but cumulatively, it at least sorta-kinda works. I get in a lot of miles. I push myself. I get better at cycling, and I burn a lot of calories.
I love the loose nature of my diet, too. The "avoid bad habits" diet (copyright Fat Cyclist Enterprises, all rights reserved) diet lets me go to restaurants, it lets me eat carbs, it lets me eat whatever I want. I just don’t eat stupid amounts of it, I don’t eat late at night, and I make sure I eat a lot of raw fruit (mostly apples) during the day.
Are What I Want and What I Like Mutually Exclusive?
While I like the "Do Whatever Sounds Good" approach to training, I also really want to get under the nine-hour mark at the Leadville 100 next year. It will be my tenth try and I’ve never finished under nine hours before, so I’ve got to admit to myself that when I train my way, I come up short.
I expect a trainer would change everything about my training. I’d need to ride certain amounts, at a certain level. I’d need to do intervals. I’d need to do "rest day rides," where I wouldn’t be allowed to chase after the guy up the road. And I’d probably have a completely different diet.
I’d probably really improve with a trainer. Maybe I’d even hit my race goals. I think, though, that in the middle of all this routine I’d stop having fun.
So this year, I’ll try to be smarter about my training. I’ll do more hills, I’ll keep doing the long flat rides, I’ll let my muscles recover. I’ll be light. But I plan on doing it haphazardly.
Maybe there are trainers out there who specialize in flibbertigibbets like me. Trainers who can show me how to keep doing the rides I want to do, but just do them better. In which case, Ms. I-like-to-train-completely-random-people, by all means contact me.
But I’m not willing to give up the fun. I’m just not.
Today’s Weight: 165.0 lbs.
Comment by Unknown | 08.25.2005 | 5:43 pm
hear frikin’ hearthe rest of life is so organized, we should all embrace a little more random behavior……..sorry just got a ‘to do’ list from my SO
Comment by Unknown | 08.25.2005 | 6:17 pm
don’t do it man, don’t hire a trainer. it would be one more brick in the wall. tear down the wall. go for a ride, and when you hit a long hill, forget program, and go balls out. is there any other way to climb? when you get to the top, turn around and go balls out. is there any other way to descend?if you were meant to get nine hours, you’ll get it. it’s not worth training for. but it’s worth riding your butt off for.
Comment by Ariane | 08.25.2005 | 6:20 pm
You shoud hire dug as your trainer…
Comment by Robert | 08.25.2005 | 6:26 pm
Do it man. Hire a trainer. Just for a year. It’s not as loosey-goosey, but it’ll probably be enjoyable in a different way. Of course, I’ve never had a bike trainer, but I know when I’m swimming laps, doing sets with a specific goal in minds adds a new level of interest. Besides, you’ll be paying for it, so there’s greater motivation, especially in January.
Comment by Unknown | 08.25.2005 | 6:32 pm
don’t listen to bob. what does bob know? this is the guy who was always saying "i can’t do tibble fork today, i went hard yesterday." bob’s just being contrary. nobody likes a contrarian. how many leadville’s has bob done? pay no attention to bob.
Comment by kris | 08.25.2005 | 7:06 pm
DON’T DO IT!!! You show up at the line and have the following conversation:Regular Cyclist: Are you ready?Fat Cyclist: Yes, yes I am.RC: What kind of program did you follow?FC: HA!! Program?! I ride when I want to ride, how I want to ride. That’s how I roll.RC: Oh.(cut to awards ceremony)Ken: …blah, blah, blah, Fat Cyclist sub nine buckle! YEA!RC: That dude went sub nine on his own program! Can you believe that?RC’s sexy girlfriend: Really?! Man, that turns me on…….and scene.As you can see, you’ll have done it on YOUR terms, and the everybody likes a rebel. If you lose the 15 lbs, you’ll be spot on for sub nine if you maintain the power you have now. On the bright side, at least you’d be easy to spot in your cheesy CTS kit during the race, though.
Comment by Daniel | 08.25.2005 | 11:40 pm
You’re right about a trainer. You’d probably nail your Leadville goal if you hired one over the next year, but your riding would have to shift from a ‘having-fun’ to a ‘grrrrr-I’m-gonna-nail-this’ type of motivation.But you’d be faster at the end.I had a trainer, 8 or so years ago, when I was powerlifting. A rather dissimilar sport to bicycle riding, but not in every respect. I fired him three years after I started with him, because it was becoming obvious that I knew more about nutrition, biomechanics and endocrinology (ahem…) than he did.And my performance immediately started on a downhill slide and never recovered. Human nature being what it is, trainers are simply a necessary evil for any serious athlete.This decision needs to be about what would make you happier – waking up every morning, knowing that you can ride, eat and rest however the hell you want, or knowing that come race day, you’ll hit the absolute best that your age and genetics will allow you to.
Comment by Unknown | 08.26.2005 | 3:44 pm
If you give in and hire a trainer you admit defeat…periodYou obviously have enough self control to work your weight down, why not set specific goals on athleticism?Stop watching the news and modern society’s bias towards:1. Blaming someone else for my personal situation.2. Being dependent upon someone else for my welfare. hang tough and do it your waysks
Comment by Unknown | 08.26.2005 | 4:19 pm
wow, i had no idea hiring a trainer had such far-reaching consequences. sounds like society is on the brink of collapse here, and you hold the key.fatty, apparently you are on the verge of becoming a welfare dependent free-loader, a weight on society, a loser of the worst kind.step back from the precipice, and control yourself. stop blaming your trainer (well, imaginary trainer) for your fatness, and get out there and ride your bike. it’s not my fault of society’s fault you’re fat.oh, wait, um, i guess you aren’t any of that. nevermind. my mistake.
Comment by JPSOCAL | 08.26.2005 | 4:27 pm
I think "fun" is the important word here. As long as you’re enjoying what you’re doing you’re way ahead of the game. You don’t need a trainer or a guru……..you are our guru…..keep doing what you’re you’re doing it’s working.
Comment by Unknown | 08.26.2005 | 7:34 pm
Keep it up the haphazardness and don’t hire a trainer! Keep your love of cycling alive by keeping it FUN and not making it into WORK. Otherwise, eventual burnout becomes a distinct possibility…Good job on meeting your goal this week.
Comment by Unknown | 08.26.2005 | 7:35 pm
Keep it up the haphazardness and don’t hire a trainer! Keep your love of cycling alive by keeping it FUN and not making it into WORK. Otherwise, eventual burnout becomes a distinct possibility…Good job on meeting your goal this week.
Comment by duane | 08.26.2005 | 8:22 pm
Once you start track racing next season, you’ll be forced to do intervals – and talk about fun!! You’ll only need that one day per week anyway and i’m putting money downl now, that in addition to your current regimen (such as it is) you’ll be well below the 9 hour mark.
Comment by Heavenzeye | 08.26.2005 | 8:51 pm
Hire a trainer? Balls out? Awards ceremonies and rock-star girlfriends? Forget all that. You just need to eat more yogurt. Yes, yes… the ‘cure all’ for slimming down…just look at the little curvy yogurt containers on the commercials…I’M convinced. mmhmmm
Comment by Unknown | 08.26.2005 | 9:31 pm
Wellllllllllll….uhhhhhhhhh….. you know….. what would happen if you hired a trainer, liked that process, and kept on with it or…um… in one alternative… hired a trainer, hated the process, fired the trainer? I’m a cycling lamer with a one-wheeled bike, so I honestly don’t know how it works but… uhhhh… when you hire a trainer, is it like a very long contract… or… well… ’til death do you part? Could you maybe…like…uh… hire one for a month and see what gives?Or are you…. uh… you know… like another lapsed Mormon I know, who is sitting here on my bike at this very moment, in fact, and… uh… you would not be able to fire said lame trainer…you know… like at the end of the month if you don’t like it anymore… because….well… it might hurt his/her feelings?
Comment by Unknown | 08.28.2005 | 2:00 am
Greetings, enjoy ur thoughts. A coach can help you get that extra lil bit but would likely take a bit of the fun out of life. As an exercise physiologist and cyclist…… Train at the pace you wish to compete at or higher, not at the distance. Build your mileage at that pace and ride the terrain of your competition….. Rest or change up either your pace or your distance when your resting pulse goes up. Seat time, pace, specific terrain, nutrition, and proper recovery will still allow you to be random, have some fun, but improve your skills. Dont ride for fitness, get fit so you can ride and have more fun.EnjoySS MS ATC
Comment by Ian | 08.29.2005 | 4:04 am
hey, I was fat too, and the "haphazard training routine" was what got me down to 150. hell, I am now down to 130. and I am 15. best thing is, I eat the same way, and I train hard. I learned the best way to train is to get in a few good and hard training rides during the week, and dont worry about the rest.(and take up track riding. it did wonders for my strength. come out on thursdays at marymoor. pleeease?)as for carbs, have you ever had an atkins supporter say things like "dont eat that. thats bad for you. it has CARBS!!" at the grocery store?
Comment by Fat Cyclist | 08.29.2005 | 5:27 am
ian – i’m ordering a bianchi pista tomorrow; i should be out riding it at the velodrome within a couple of weeks. i won’t be able to race until next year though – there aren’t any more training sessions until then. at which point i look forward to meeting you in person and having you totally kick my behind on the track.