65 Comments

1. Comment by Unknown | 11.2.2005 | 5:21 pm

   Well Fatty I have 2 horror stories to tell. You’d think that I would have learned the first time.Story #1.After a long mountain bike race my friend & I were heading back to the city along HWY 401 which is a major highway here. In retrospect I think we should have listened to the guy telling us that the wheel of my back hit the ground when we were leaving the parking lot after the race but…. So as we were driving along, suddenly my friend starts to pull over. I asked why & he tells me that my bike had just fallen off. What ever I thought as I looked back to see my nice new Trek 8000 sliding away from us. Luckily no vehicles hit the bike & I ran as fast as I could to retrieve the bike before something bad happened. I was surprised to see that the damage was minimal. New bar, saddle, tires & pedals was all it needed. Story #2.After picking up a spanking new Specialized S-works the same friend (different car) went for a ride an hour or so out of town. Driving home he yells "shit your bike fell off". After we stopped I again started to run back towards the bike. As I was about 30 or so yards from the bike the worst happened. A transport truck ran it over. I’ve never seen such carnage before. The bike just exploded. I don’t think there was a single piece bigger than about 8 iinches. We never did find all the pieces. Moral of the story. I drive myself to the rides now. Guess what? I haven’t lost a bike yet.

2. Comment by Unknown | 11.2.2005 | 5:23 pm

   My strategy when it comes to bike accessories is to spend lots of time and money trying to make the thing first, normally out of scrap metal and pvc pipe. Items already in the garage have a much higher chance ending up in the final product than items I have to get at the hardware store. Then, I go through hundreds of revisions.. end up spending what I would have spent on a proper item.. and then finally give up and spend that amount (again) on the proper item. Example: bike lights, roof rack, bike wheel rack… the list goes on and on.So you can picture my roof rack… PCV, lots of metal at right angles, and that distinct look of crap.

3. Comment by Unknown | 11.2.2005 | 5:31 pm

   Good advice or I should say observations. Two that I may add, first, I agree about the hitch mounted rack. I went from PA to Colorado and back with two bikes on the back of a Honda CRX (anyone remember them?) No problems, no theft, we took great care each time we loaded them up. Mainly, securing the front wheel. Which bring s me to my second, another cross country trip; form Redondo Beach, CA to State College, PA. This time with the bike on top and also with a wheel holder on top. (Wheel not secured) So after 2 days wondering what that weird noise was after I reached speeds over 60mph, and one stop at a garage, I finally looked at the roof and noticed the nice line of paint worn away from the area that the mount was bending back, and the tire was spinning, wearing away the paint. Those great wheel holders aren’t all they are cracked up to be.Tom

4. Comment by Avonelle | 11.2.2005 | 5:34 pm

   I don’t have any great stories, but my bike rack advice is to not use a bike rack at all. Earlier this year, my husband and I bought two Honda Elements. We use these cars to haul our bikes inside the vehicles. There is no carpeting to wreck, the seats easily adjust so that we can handle one bike or more, and the bikes are protected from the "elements". It is relatively easy to secure the bicycles in place on the inside of the Element, as it comes with a variety of things that are easy to hook with a bungie cord. Oh, and since the back windows are tinted, they are less of a target for bicycle thieves. My Burley Hepcat recumbent even fits inside. Yes, it isn’t the most attractive car in the world. But I can tell you that bicyclists who see us pull the bikes out of the car are jealous. And I’ve never had to worry about the bike flying off the roof or running it into the garage.

5. Comment by pete | 11.2.2005 | 6:03 pm

   Two issues with today’s post.1. It is impossible to clip in and ride away when you stay in a third-floor flat (that’s fourth-floor apartment to you: two countries divided by a common language, right enough.) Instead you have to put the shoes on, hoist the bike over your shoulder then clatter your way down the stairs, slip-sliding away while praying to god that nobody decides to come out of their front door as you’re passing.2. I don’t drive, ergo today’s competition is inherently unfair. I mean, it’s probably inherently unfair anyway as it’s relies on people having been on actual long rides and/or having funny stories to tell. Then, of course, there’s the laughable issue of judicial impartiality… However, the driving thing is annoying. I hate having to ride ten miles to meet up and go for a ride, then ride ten miles home again.BAH!!

6. Comment by Unknown | 11.2.2005 | 6:19 pm

   You didn’t mention the other downside of roof racks. When you get where you’re going, your bike has dead bugs smashed all over it. It is *so* hard to look cool on the starting line of a race when your bike is coated in smashed bugs.

7. Comment by Mike | 11.2.2005 | 6:24 pm

   I can’t beat Remdog-Moots story, but I’ll post anyways.I have one of the nylon strap on thingys. No don’t think of it that way. It works fine, and I can put it on the car in a few minutes. Not as fast as a 2 inch hitch reciever, but it’s quick enough. I use it for transporting over long distances, when I’ll be in the car for most of the time. Times like this would be when I travel to Bend, OR to ride with my brother. I haven’t lost a bike yet, nor have really damaged my paint. Well nothing that a little rubbing compound won’t take out. The biggest thing to remember with the nylon webbing things is to use rubberbands or velcro to tie up the webbing after you are done.As I have two sedans, the only other option for transporting them would be to get take the bikes apart, and that’s a pain in the rear. Mike the Buddha Cyclist

8. Comment by Unknown | 11.2.2005 | 6:25 pm

   I only have one horror story involving a bike rack, mainly because you have to be upside down before a bike falls out of a pickup truck. Sainted Wife and I are in parking lot traffic a month or so ago, on I-495, the Washington Beltway. We were coming back from a baby trailer family outing, and caught in total gridlock. So you look at people in other cars and talk smack about them. Next to us is a beautiful little silver Porsche convertible with an ill-fitting bike rack, which had two bikes on the back, a nice Litespeed with $800 wheels and a carbon Trek. Every time the car moved forward, the bikes wobbled pretty badly in the rack, the wheels spun, etc. The guy driving was early to mid-50’s, lanky, tall and fit, but clearly a high mileage middle-aged face, with bleached blonde hair (my wife noticed that). Clearly a middle aged crisis thing with the hair and the car. The girl passengering was maybe 18 or 19, pretty, well, um, you know, very attractive and fit, more gym rat than bike chick. They were both wearing bike shorts and tanktops, and both had a little helmet hair. We were in my pickup, so we had a nice view into the car. Sainted wife apparently gets one of those "Raising Arizona Denoument aging gracefully as a family" visions, and says "bicycling is nice because you can keep riding as a family until you’re older. Like we’ll be able to ride with Evil Spawn (son) when he’s in high school, and like that father & daughter over there. It’s just nice." Right then, middle aged bleach blonde guy leans over and slips the girl some major tongue action. The horror… the horror. What did this have to do with bike racks? Nothing, really. Other than the cheap bike rack looked really, really bad on that Porsche. You can’t imagine how bad it looked. I don’t think it was safe, and it was certainly unstylish. I’d have probably swallowed my pride and bought a Honda Element before I inflicted that kind of punishment on a Porsche.

9. Comment by Unknown | 11.2.2005 | 6:26 pm

   I have one story, and it offers something of a counter point to your "don’t put it on top" rule. I had my ancient but much loved Cannodale on top of my equally ancient and loved Volvo wagon. The Cannondale had a brand-new Selle Italia ti railed saddle, to replace one that I’d destroyed in a nasty trip over the bars </foreshadowing>. My wife was driving, and I was changing out of my riding clothes to meet friends for lunch. I was, also, getting an earful from said lovely wife about some…um… miscommunication that had gone on at a party the night before. Apparently, she had been ready to go home and relax after an exhausting week, and I had missed her signals, being engaged in a wee project, trying to see how much of a keg of Seirra Nevada fit inside me. So, I was feeling pretty low when *Crunch!* a low hanging tree tried to eat the Cannondale. You wouldn’t think that this would be such good news, but in that instant (and pretty much only for that instant) the balance of power in our relationship shifted. As I made a show of glumly inspecting the destroyed saddle and rims, and assuring her that it was fine, not her fault, and could happen to anyone, my party foul was forgotten. And I got a new wheelset! I highly recommend putting bikes on top, but not being the driver.

10. Comment by Unknown | 11.2.2005 | 6:26 pm

    times driving into garage with bikes on top: twice (wife once, me once).times hitch rack removed itself from hitch and slid down the freeway into following traffic: twice (once in town, once in middle of nowhere).times forgetting to latch rear wheel in rear facing fork mount rack: once (brad did it to my beautiful 89 cadillac, and at 80mph on freeway, over bump, his bike bounced into air, flipped around, broke off the antenae, and put a 6 inch gouge/hole in the vinyl roof of the car. his bike sustained some damage too, but not enough to make up for the pysychological, monetary, and physical damage he did to me and my cadillac.times stupid temporary rack attached with clips and straps slipped lower on the trunk and dragged a bike, wearing a hole in the tire and rim: once.really good racks (and i’m talking bike racks here) cost over $500 once you’ve bought all the ski accessories and locks, and are worth their weight in unobtanium. don’t skimp on the rack.

11. Comment by Unknown | 11.2.2005 | 6:31 pm

    christian, you make an excellent point. when my wife drove the bikes into the garage, my cannondale rx2000 was a week old.i have never been so feted (not fetid) in all my life. totally worth it.

12. Comment by BIg Mike In Oz | 11.2.2005 | 6:32 pm

    Remdog-Moots wins. It can’t get any worse than that unless Rocky logs on.

13. Comment by Sarah | 11.2.2005 | 6:32 pm

    When I bought my Yakima roof rack from my dad (he owns a bike store), he asked me if I wanted a small warning device that attached with a magnet to the hood of your car. I don’t know if you’ve seen these, but when you are going slow, a small sign flips up to remind you that you have cargo up top, and when you are going fast, the wind pushes it down.I laughed at the idea. "how silly!" My dad said, "yah, usually I sell these to people AFTER they ram their bikes into their garages."However, I’ve been lucky *knock on wood* and driven cross country with bikes on top without incident. Although I almost rammed my bike into the overhang of a drive-in A&W in Wisconsin. Luckily, the Corolla has pretty low clearance to begin with, so the fork mount bike rack doesn’t add much height! It is still probably shorter than some mondo SUVs out there. My husband laughed at me though when we were camping in the UP of Michigan (with like 1 other person at this campsite) and I put my u-lock on my bike before we went to bed….you never can trust those UPers. ;)

14. Comment by BIg Mike In Oz | 11.2.2005 | 6:36 pm

    A friend and I had been racing and each had a road and a track bike on the roof of my car. We also had 2 sisters with us and had headed down to the beach to eat dinner before driving 4 hours home. We (I) cruised into our regular parking space at the far end of the park and an overhanging tree hit the bikes and dislodged the rack, front and back. It took about 20 seconds for the rack to slowly grind its way across the roof and boot (trunk) and deposit the bikes gently on the road.

15. Comment by Donald | 11.2.2005 | 6:45 pm

    While driving to a ride in my civic my rear rack fell off doing a U-turn, my roomates $100 sears special took the brunt of it, my S-Works just got a scatch. One of the straps broke and thats all she wrote. It scratched up the clearcote on the car too. Later i bought a roof rack since i dont have a garage but drive throughs are as bad, roomates bike died and took the rack with it. The doors never did seal right after that.

16. Comment by Donald | 11.2.2005 | 6:45 pm

    While driving to a ride in my civic my rear rack fell off doing a U-turn, my roomates $100 sears special took the brunt of it, my S-Works just got a scatch. One of the straps broke and thats all she wrote. It scratched up the clearcote on the car too. Later i bought a roof rack since i dont have a garage but drive throughs are as bad, roomates bike died and took the rack with it. The doors never did seal right after that.

17. Comment by Unknown | 11.2.2005 | 6:52 pm

    On the subject of bad luck…I have never damaged, lost, or maimed any bike on any rack of any. kind. ever. Even when I was transporting bikes for others I have never been involved in any type of miscue.My bike DID fall off of Bob’s roof rack on the way to the 24 Hours of hell in Moab, though. Well, it didn’t fall all of the way off…it just dangled there until Bob jumped on the brakes. Maybe it’s Bob? Maybe it’s Fatty? Maybe it’s any combination of Bob and Fatty?

18. Comment by Unknown | 11.2.2005 | 6:54 pm

    Other than being old, fat, and a cyclist, I now discover that I have something in common with The Fat Cyclist. We both drive an RSX Type S. But my bike ride in my car with me. With the back seats down and the front wheel removed, my Trek Pilot tucks neatly under the hatch. No worry about a rack at all.

19. Comment by Unknown | 11.2.2005 | 6:59 pm

    The best rack I ever owned was a little, well, homegrown. I used to own a 1979 International Scout II. It was a great truck back in the days when you didn’t mind getting 8 miles to the gallon. I bought it used in 1997 and watched as it began it’s eventual downslide into a rusted out hulk of what used to be. In a desperate attempt to hide the rust decay, I spent some time in the garage with some spraypaint and painted the thing authentic army camouflage. Then for that whimsical touch I stenciled on the back tailgate, in white spraypaint, the words "You can’t see me."Those days were tight in the money department, so I couldn’t afford a fancy new rack. So I happened across one of the pre-runners to the receiver hitch style rack. The kind where you removed the trailer hitch ball from your bumper, inserted the rack through the hole and bolted it down. It was a sturdy mount and would never move. But, this arrangement pretty much permanently blocked any access to the trunk or rear end of the vehicle, and completely eliminated the option of towing a trailer. Not willing to make this sort of compromise and also being much too lazy to bolt the thing on every time I wanted to haul a bike, I opted for a much more permanent solution. I removed the rack’s horizontal bars that were designed to hold the bikes. The bars were threaded on the end that attached to the rack, and held in place by two large nuts. I took these pieces and visited a friend of mine who is handy with a welder. We cut some holes in the rear tailgate, bolted the support bars in place and then welded the bars permanently to the rear of the Scout. Presto, the perfect bike rack.

20. Comment by Unknown | 11.2.2005 | 7:11 pm

    I have had two instances of bikes coming off my rack. I have one of those nylon strap racks on the back of my prius. I hooked my wifes and my bike up to it and headed out to meet some others for a ride. We had to make a stop so i also connected a u-lock between the two bikes and the rack. As we were going we hit a bump and i look back and only see one bike, we were going about 45mph. I pull over and run out and see that I have dragged my wifes bike for about 100 yards. It was hanging from the lock off the back of the car. The seat was the only thing beat up though, everything else was fine, not even any scrapes. Luckily I saw it as early as i did.Second time was when I was going out for a ride with my father in law. He just got a brand new bike and was all excited to be going out. On the way onto the highway his bike flew off the back of the car and was laying on the on ramp. Luckily there was no other cars around but he was pretty worried and I felt like an ass since I hooked the bikes up to the rack. There was no major damage to the bike except a few scratches. I now bungy the bikes to the rack along with the normal connectors. I really need to get a new rack and a hitch though.

21. Comment by Robert | 11.2.2005 | 7:12 pm

    I picked up Paul in St. George to ride Gooseberry Mesa. Paul set his bike on the back of my rack, thinking that I would secure it later. I didn’t. As we were driving along the freeway that goes past Hurricane (pronounced "hurracun"), I noticed in my rear-view mirror that an alien spacecraft was trailing me. A bright light overwhelmed me, and the next thing I knew, I was strapped face-down to a krypton table. That sucked.

22. Comment by Unknown | 11.2.2005 | 7:18 pm

    It’s not so much a bike rack story as a rack on a car story. My friend has a condo at Lake Tahoe. In college, we were on our yearly ski trip there, only that year her sister had the chevy suburban, so we were going to rent a jeep. We get to the car rental place, and they refuse to rent an SUV to anyone younger than 25 (we were all 20 or 21 at the time). At this point, we figured they’d give us something big to make up for it, like a full size car. After all, we had skis and snowboards, and if they couldn’t fit on the roof, well, 4 of us would need to squeeze in the space for three to put my brand new skis through the trunk. Of course, we assumed wrong. We got a Dodge Neon. That’s right. One of the smallest four door cars ever (the geo metro of four door cars?). It didn’t have a ski rack. Instead, the gave us a temporary ski rack for the roof. It’s like a temporary bike rack for the back of the car, except the locking mechanism is a plastic clip that snaps over another piece of plastic. Now, the story after that goes downhill. The ski rack didn’t ever break. But the fact that we had a Dodge Neon meant that if it snowed, we couldn’t ski. Driving up the mountain to the base lifts was like your CRV, only that with four people, two snowboards and two pairs of skis, it only managed to sit two comfortably; the two in back were in the rather uncomfortable stacked position as a result of the right side of the rear seat being folded down to accomodate the snowboards (that’s right, the snowboards didn’t fit in the trunk itself). It struggled to go up the mountain, and going down hill was not what anyone would call safe. The most glorious day of that trip? It wasn’t the powder day (no no, we couldn’t leave the house on the powder day), it was the day we returned the "f’ing neon." To this day, that’s what we call it. The f’ing neon. The friend’s parents have now decreed that each winter we go skiing, the suburban will be available.

23. Comment by Big Guy on a Bicycle | 11.2.2005 | 7:44 pm

    I love the idea of not having a roof rack (as I, too, have destroyed a bike on a garage frame – it was my wife’s, and thus more expendable), but there is one bike that I just can’t mount on a hitch-receiver mounted rack. The tandem is simply too long to fit across the back of the car. So I take the garage door opener out of the car every time I put a bike on the roof rack.My story: I was still in college and still the thin racer-boy I was back in the day. I was going home one weekend for a race, but instead of driving, I caught a ride with my sister who was passing through town on her way home from school further away. I didn’t have a rack to fit her car, so I borrowed one from a fraternity brother (bad move). It wasn’t a perfect fit, but we got it on the car and loaded my bike on it and headed off. I kept looking back at the bike since my brother had once experienced the bike-bouncing-down-the-freeway phemomenon, but we made it all the way home without the bike/rack leaving the car. It wasn’t until I was taking my bike off of the car that night that I realized that the lopsided rack arrangement had left my front wheel dangling directly behind the exhaust pipe. My tire was melted completely through. I had extra tubes, but no extra tire, the bike shop was closed for the evening, and my racing buddies (two in town for the race) didn’t have extras either. I ended up borrowing a wheel (from a neighbor’s old ten-speed Schwinn) that was a little bigger than my wheel, and heavy as a brick, but it rolled and it fit (even if I couldn’t adjust the brake pads enough to hit the rim, so I raced on one brake). I did OK in the race, but finished mid-pack after I spent myself pulling one of my buddies back up to the front after he crashed. At least he got 5th. He won a tire, which he sold me for $5 (gas money to get him back to school).

24. Comment by Unknown | 11.2.2005 | 8:05 pm

    Here’s my best bike rack. solution. ever. Buy a ginormous SUV, which wife and kiddies rarely ride in because I drive it to work, build an interior rack of 1" x 6" x 4′ wood and a bike tite (fork mount kind), lay one side of the split seat down so bike will fit snugly in car without touching any surfaces except where the rear wheel rests, and presto! You have your bike with you all of the time protected from the elements so you arrive to your ride with a clean, grit-free bike. And added bonus to this system is that you can sneak out of work in a suit with a notebook in hand and look of exigency on your face so no one suspects you are sneaking out, ride (must store hair product and comb in big SUV console cubby to be able to complete the ruse) return to work rejuvinated with no one the wiser. This rack system requires a bit of a superman complex, in that you have to change into bike attire in the car. You go in in a suit, you come out in…well…tights. A towel is a nice addition to the super giant SUV cubby, since one usually sweats when riding and the re-transmogrification to Working Boy® completes with greater deftness with said towel. Deodorant is not a bad add, either. NOTE: sometimes a ride grits up the bike so a blanket, towel, plastic drop cloth, etc. helps keep the SUV clean. This rack might even be worthy of Bob’s System®.SECOND NOTE: Big SUV must have super-tinted glass so that supervisors or underlings cannot see the bike and sundry ride gear in the big SUV. THIRD NOTE: Never offer to drive when attending luncheons, etc. with supervisors and underlings. It doesn’t look good. FOURTH NOTE: I do not do this–I have only heard of it being be done.On another note, my wife needs a rack that won’t beat her bike to death, and that…well…Fatty said it best. I own my own welder and I grew tired of the high price (see dug’s comment) of racks and of their shoddy construction. Plus I really like the smell of melting metal. I built my own rack from 1/4" steel and had it powdercoated–all for under $100 U.S.(just for you Big MIKE–I’ll ignore that crack about things worsening when I show up). It is convertible from two bikes to four, there is no PVC pipe involved (I’d love to see a photo of that one Lars), and it’s simple enough that Fatty’s sister (my lovely wife–the inordinately mechanically challenged) uses it all of the time. With no help.The 2" receiver on cars (wifey drives a Toyota Camry) is possible on virtually any vehicle. Short of the SUV Solution®, it’s about as good as it gets.

25. Comment by Unknown | 11.2.2005 | 8:06 pm

    I was going to BYU, and my brother and friend were living in Oregon. We had this great plan to drive to Mexico to go mountain biking. It was going to be an epic trip. My job was to drive myself and my bike from Utah to California to meet up with them before heading on. I had my bike on top of my car (you all know where this is going) and all my gear packed and I was heading out of the parking lot. Just as I was pulling out, I remembered that in the below-ground parking lot, in my apartment storage facility, I had left my sleeping bag. No problem, I slammed it in reverse and headed down the super steep ramp to the underground parking.Crunch, scrape…The car and rack took most of the force. I think I needed a new saddle and seatpost, and my Marzocchi Atom 80 didn’t line up at the drop-outs like it used to–but not enough to stop me from using it. All for doors of the car (an 88 Honda Accord) were pried away from the roof, and the roof was dented on the four corners pretty well. It also did a number to my hood on which the mangled tangle of roof rack and bike landed. I was going way too fast to stop when I hit.Besides the repair costs, we didn’t go on the trip. In fact, we never made that trip. I’d like to say I learned my lesson, but when returning to school after a summer break (driving from Oregon to Utah with the bike on top really jogs the memory of a bike out of your mind) I was excited to see one of the coveted under-the-apartment parking spots open (different complex). Again, as was my driving style back in the day, I pulled in so quickly as to knock my bike right off the rack (same bike) before I realized what happened. I remember being embarrassed more than anything (for the bike, it was old hat), so I quickly scooped up the remains before anyone came out to see what the sound of scraping metal and concrete came from. At this point, my rack was loose enough (see previous accident above) that it really didn’t damage my bike too much–mostly the bar-ends and, once again, the fork (which now resides on my wife’s cob-web-adorned bike).I still have a roof rack. I actually put my garage door opener in the back seat when I leave (and on extended trips, I actually put something in my garage in the way so I wouldn’t be able to pull in without getting out of my car and moving it). I won’t tell you how many times or how often moving the garage door opener has saved my bike/car. <shudder>

26. Comment by Paul Beard | 11.2.2005 | 8:08 pm

    I drove into a parkade with my Cannondale Scalpel on the roof of my Acura. Apparently Yakima racks don’t clamp too tightly to some Acura roofs and the impact cleanly ejected the rack from the top of the car.The airborne rack and bike cleared the back of the car and landed right-side-up on the driveway.Damage to bike: 2 inch cut to cheap stock saddle (still using it)Damage to car: minor bends in chrome roof trim.Damage to wife’s virtuity as a cursed every known deity before discovering my luck: unrepairableThe rack sales rep somehow thought this was a fault in the rack/roof combination. I’d buy Yakima again just for this ‘feature’ since it holds 70+lbs of bikes while driving without problems.p.s. check your home insurance policy – I know someone to have his house fixed and bike replaced under insurance. I thought insurance would have an ‘act of stupidity’ exclusion.

27. Comment by Austin | 11.2.2005 | 8:10 pm

    The "Don’t Over-Rack" section sounds a little like *Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants* at the end. :)

28. Comment by duane | 11.2.2005 | 9:09 pm

    Here’s one – Seattle-ites who work on the Eastside will, I’m sure, laugh themselves silly at the thought of a guy scurrying along the left lane of the 520 bridge to pick up an errant front wheel. And those people on the bus probably enjoyed the unexpected carnival ride of the bus driver slamming on his brakes and swerving to avoid the front wheel rolling along the bridge at 50mph!Anyway, I was heading across the bridge on my way to work with my MTB on top ready for an afternoon ride and I heard a ‘clunk’. I casually look in my rear view mirror and see my front wheel rolling off the trunk of the car and then bouncing and rolling along the left lane of the bridge at 50 mph. I slam on the brakes, jump out and run back to get what I expected to be something to fill the garbage can with. I can only attribute the lack of damage to my superior wheel building skills and solid foundation of mojo.

29. Comment by Tom Stormcrowe | 11.2.2005 | 9:21 pm

    Yo Fatty! Here’s my entry to the Bag giveaway! This is rich! When I was a kid, my neighbor homebuilt a bicycle rack to put on the back of his Harley! That’s right a bike rack for a bike! It was the stranbest sight you ever saw, him riding down the road on the way to an out of state road race on his Hog with a 1970’s Fuji hanging on the back! Funniest thing I’ve seen to date and I truly wish I had pictures!

30. Comment by Unknown | 11.2.2005 | 9:37 pm

    Here is my entry. It did not happened to me, but a friend of mine, who is surgeon, and therefore he should know better.My friend, Warwick (AKA Wassa) rides a mountain bike. A few years ago Wassa couldn’t find any pedal pals one day; the weather wasn’t good and everyone else was, quite sensibly in my view, remaining at home. Undeterred, Wassa loaded his bike onto his car, a roof rack as it happens, and off he went. Unpacking at the start of the ride Wassa realised that he had forgotten to bring his helmet. For most people that should have been the end of the ride, but we are talking Wassa here, and he wasn’t having it. He was riding; helmet or no helmet.At the start of the ride there is short stretch of road before you disappear into the bush. Wassa set off. He had barely gone a hundred yards when the local constabulary come around the corner, pull Wassa over, lecture him about the lack of a helmet and demand that he abondon his ride, upon pain of a fine. To add insult to injury the cops follow Wassa back to his car and watch him rack the bike and drive off. To use his words he was in a fair temper by this point.Wassa lives in a beautiful harbour front house, which is located on the side a slope and below the level of the street. The driveway is fairly steep. Wassa’s wife often parks her car at the bottom of the driveway, in front of the garage. On this day her brand-spanking new Mazda RX-7 was so placed.As Wassa entered the driveway, and started down the slope, he experienced one of those horrifying moments when you are driving along and realise that you may not have fixed the bike in the roof rack. As the thought was crossing his mind Wassa’s bike was parting company with the roof rack. In one of those curious twists of fate the bike came down onto the bonnet of Wassa’s car (that’s the hood for you Americans), gouging the paint work as it went, and landed on the driveway, roughly on it wheels. In anyone else’s world the bike would have fallen over at that point, but this is Wassa’s world, and the cosmic forces were out to teach him a lesson. The bike continue down the driveway, without falling or deviating, and smashed heavily into the front of his wife’s new car.Wassa’s wife heard the noise and came out of the house. She looked at the bike and her new car. Wassa was sitting, frozen, in his car further up the slope. She walked up the driveway to the Wassa’s car and knocked on the window, which Wassa rolled down. Unable to speak, probably out of fear, Wassa justed looked at her. A moment passed; she leaned into the window and quite calmly and distinctly said "****head". It was the last word he heard from her for two days.Wassa has a positive take on all of this; he got a new bike.

31. Comment by Unknown | 11.2.2005 | 9:39 pm

    Here is my entry. It did not happened to me, but a friend of mine, who is surgeon, and therefore he should know better.My friend, Warwick (AKA Wassa) rides a mountain bike. A few years ago Wassa couldn’t find any pedal pals one day; the weather wasn’t good and everyone else was, quite sensibly in my view, remaining at home. Undeterred, Wassa loaded his bike onto his car, a roof rack as it happens, and off he went. Unpacking at the start of the ride Wassa realised that he had forgotten to bring his helmet. For most people that should have been the end of the ride, but we are talking Wassa here, and he wasn’t having it. He was riding; helmet or no helmet.At the start of the ride there is a short stretch of road before you disappear into the bush. Wassa set off. He had barely gone a hundred yards when the local constabulary come around the corner, pull Wassa over, lecture him about the lack of a helmet and demand that he abondon his ride, upon pain of a fine. To add insult to injury the cops follow Wassa back to his car and watch him rack the bike and drive off. To use his words he was in a fair temper by this point.Wassa lives in a beautiful harbour front house, which is located on the side a slope and below the level of the street. The driveway is fairly steep. Wassa’s wife often parks her car at the bottom of the driveway, in front of the garage. On this day her brand-spanking new Mazda RX-7 was so placed.As Wassa entered the driveway, and started down the slope, he experienced one of those horrifying moments when you are driving along and realise that you may not have fixed the bike in the roof rack. As the thought was crossing his mind Wassa’s bike was parting company with the roof rack. In one of those curious twists of fate the bike came down onto the bonnet of Wassa’s car (that’s the hood for you Americans), gouging the paint work as it went, and landed on the driveway, roughly on it wheels. In anyone else’s world the bike would have fallen over at that point, but this is Wassa’s world, and the cosmic forces were out to teach him a lesson. The bike continue down the driveway, without falling or deviating, and smashed heavily into the front of his wife’s new car.Wassa’s wife heard the noise and came out of the house. She looked at the bike and her new car. Wassa was sitting, frozen, in his car further up the slope. She walked up the driveway to the Wassa’s car and knocked on the window, which Wassa rolled down. Unable to speak, probably out of fear, Wassa justed looked at her. A moment passed; she leaned into the window and quite calmly and distinctly said "****head". It was the last word he heard from her for two days.Wassa has a positive take on all of this; he got a new bike.

32. Comment by Unknown | 11.2.2005 | 9:43 pm

    On a Thursday evening, 5 years ago, my boss purchased a brand new subaru outback. On Friday we put on a Yak roof rack with "ankle biter" clamps that pinch one of the crank arms to hold the bikes upright and the tires go into trays that have straps that fit around the wheel and tire. Fitted with new car and bike rack, we were ready to go for a ride.I put my bike up on the roof, we pulled out of the driveway, did a U-turn, and THUD!. I hadn’t done up the ankle biter correctly, so the force of the U-turn caused my bike to fall over, and as it was still strapped by the tires, it didn’t fall off the rack but instead the crank-arm and pedal were accelerated into the outside/roof of the car putting a soft-ball sized dent in the roof/top of door, and broke out the passenter side window. The outback was approximately 20 hours old.Botched!

33. Comment by craig | 11.2.2005 | 9:56 pm

    sigh…..this is only a worthwhile exercise when we get to insult you.

34. Comment by Unknown | 11.2.2005 | 9:59 pm

    Hi Fatty,I just discovered your blog (through cyclingnews.com) and read every entry this week. I even read most of the comments. (Please don’t tell my boss, by the way). Nice writing. Unless work picks up, I’ll probably read your friend’s blogs next week.I have three bike rack stories to relate:1. On the way home from a race in Moline, IL, a long time ago, my buddy had somehow forgotten to tighten the seat tube clamp holding his beautiful Eisentrout racing bike to the rack. It stayed in place at 65 mph for about 2 hours, then flew straight off the back and flipped over to land on the seat. It did a perfect cartwheel landing on the seat a second time and bounced off the road into the weeds. The cartwheel seemed like it took at least 10 seconds with several cars flying by blaring their horns. Casualties: 1 bike seat. The rest of my friends fancy bike was completely unscratched. Even the bar tape was intact.2. When I was all loaded up to move from the Midwest to my current home in Oregon, I had both my bikes on a rear tire rack on my jeep. I got about 2 miles into the trip when I got rear ended. It was a really light tap that would not have caused any harm if it were not for the bikes, but it was enough to bend a crank arm and two wheels. I talked the offending driver into giving me a hundred bucks instead of going through the hassle of an insurance claim and got on my way.3. This one actually involves a roof top box that was used for skis. I was at Whistler with my brother-in-law, sister and a bunch of other friends. After the 1st day of skiing, my sister pulled their SUV, complete with roof top box, into the garage. It made a huge scraping sound, but the plastic buckled under the force when it hit the garage door frame, then popped back up once it cleared. Afraid to back it out and cause damage, my brother in law had to remove the box from the roof, pull the SUV out of the garage, and reinstall it. This would have been pretty easy except that the bolts to remove the box were inside it, and it would only open a crack while in the garage. It also might not have been too bad with some help, but we were already out of our ski clothes and just about to hit the hot tub with a case of Kokannees. So our response to his pleas for help: "You are the one who married her. You take care of it."Haver

35. Comment by Unknown | 11.2.2005 | 10:00 pm

    Here’s a plus to my racks, too. Now when I am out riding with my wife, I don’t have to my hackles up when some lycra-clad smarty says, "hey, nice rack", ’cause I know they are talking about the bike rack and not my wife. It’s saved me from thrashing the sense out of more than one rider.

36. Comment by Zed | 11.2.2005 | 10:11 pm

    I’ve got to be completely honest, here. I have one of those rear racks, but I refuse to use it unless I absolutely have to. My back seat is all clawed up because I usually just take off my front wheel and stick the bike in the back. It also fits snuggly in my trunk. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that my bike costs more than my car. I suppose I’d have more rack stories if I actually used the thing, but I’d be freaking out the entire time if my bike were at the mercy of the elements.

37. Comment by Unknown | 11.2.2005 | 10:13 pm

    I knew there was a reason you were so cool, you’re a honda man! Not only are they great haulers, but the smaller ones (like my old old civic) almost feel like bikes, heck with only 91 horsepower, it was practically as fast as a bike. I have a temp trunk rack on my current civic, because I feel like a tool with the roof mount kind, too many yuppies that have them and never use them, plus they tend to eff up your roof paint. Never had any problems with the temp trunk deal.

38. Comment by Unknown | 11.2.2005 | 10:14 pm

    hey rocky, nice rack.

39. Comment by Unknown | 11.2.2005 | 10:31 pm

    It wasn’t long after I started biking seriously that I decided I need a bike rack due to the nearest mt. bike trail to my college campus was a minimum of 1.5hr away. So I began the search for what I thought would be a good rack. Being in college I quickly decided that I couldn’t afford the nice yakima I wanted (a 2" hitch mount rack), and being some what anal about my bike I wasn’t going to going to buy a walmart rack that I knew would break eventually. Alot of people said "you have a truck (s-10) why do you need a rack?" They didnt understand that it wasnt ‘cool’ to just throw your bike in the bed of a truck…plus I needed the truck bed to put all my gear in on longer overnight trips. That’s about the point where I started thinking "hey I can build one of these things no problem." So after some reasearch and studying racks at the LBS I decided to purchase 2 yakima cradles that slide on to a square tube. Then while home from college for the weekend I gathered some scrap steel from my dad’s garage and got a friend of mine with a welder to help. We spent just about all day making this rack (1 1/4" hitch mount) and it looked great. Of course it didn’t swing away, tilt, or anything fancy like that, but I did go to the local auto paint shop and have a can of spray paint mixed up to match the color of my truck exactly (dark blue). In the end it looked fantastic and had only cost me $50 for the 2 cradles; not to metion the coolness factor of having built it my self and it matched my truck (not to many others can say that). The first trip out was about 2 hours away down the interstate. The bike rack looked like it was working perfectly going down the interstate. That is until we got about 2 blocks from the trail. When leaving a stop light I heard one heck of a crash and of course in the rear view mirror I saw 2 bikes bouncing down the road. First thought… "damn it rack broke!". Wrong. So I jumped out (luckily the girl behind me didn’t run over the bikes) grab the bikes and throw them into the truck bed. I had overlooked one major item on the manufactured racks; a vertical bolt in the end of the tube to keep the cradles from sliding off. I thought oh well thats an easy enough fix and the bikes didn’t get hurt.After installing a bolt in the end of the tube, to keep the bikes from sliding off the rack, the next 2 trips went flawlessly. Except I kept noticing that the rack seemed to bounce around an awfull lot. On the 4th trip I was headed down the interstate and pulled off to get gas and on pot hole infested road the rack began to bounce horribly…then CRASH! Once again looked into the rear view mirror to see the bikes on the ground. This time things were a bit worse. Aparrently I had not used the best quality steel. The 1 1/4 tubing had actually broke in half (note: my welds did not). Luckily scratches and a broken brake lever was the extent of the damage. After that I decided that I would just wait till I could afford a good rack (because of course I still wasnt going to buy a cheap one….that just brings down the whole value of your bike..right?) Luckily a couple months later I found a display model of a yakima rack (the exact one that I had bought cradles for on my homemade one) at a Dick’s Sporting goods store. Yakima had discontinued this model and the cable lock was locked on it this display rack. The store manager had no idea where the keys for the lock were, nor did he have any idea on a price for it. I ended up giving him $30 for it, took it to a lock smith who picked the lock for $20 and ordered a new set of keys for it from the LBS for $16. So in the end I ended up with the exact rack I wanted for under $75, but only after having lost bikes off the back of my truck twice because I was too stuborn to just buy one in the first place. Lesson Learned.

40. Comment by Julie | 11.2.2005 | 10:40 pm

    Hey -I have three comments on the best bike racks.1.) Since it is usually just me and my bike, I keep my bike in my backseat of the car. Standing straight up between the wheel wells. I just take the front wheel off and it fits perfectly. I have had a few cars, and even with my current smallcar, Pontiac Vibe, it still fits. I never have to worry about any body stealing it, or if it is secure. I also keep my bike gear in the car – so at a moments notice I can be riding.2.) I did have a bad experience with my car, two other friends and their bikes. I disassembled my bike and put it in the trunk with the other luggage. And then put their bikes on a rack on the back. We were driving down the expressway and sure enough the bikes start swaying and one fell partly off the rack and by the time we stopped it was hanging by one of those nylon straps. The rear derailluer looked was a mess – since we had just started cycling we had no idea what to expect for the damages. She took it to her shop and all it cost was $35. (Thank god!) She was also able to find another bike to ride, since we were going to participate on a 3 day ride. 3.) Last summer I volunteered with a cross country bike touring group. We ended up having a major mud slide in WA and had to reroute the whole tour. Which meant we had to transport all 49 bikes either on top of the vans, in the luggage trailers. It would not have been so bad – but it was raining for about three days straight…..not a fun tour. Do I win the prize for transporting the most bikes / bikers in the rain?

41. Comment by Unknown | 11.2.2005 | 11:40 pm

    There are three reasons for owning an RSX type S:1. It’s a fun-to-drive screamer and every kid at the Dairy Queen dreams of stealing it so he can put the motor into his red 1988 CRX Si.2. It costs almost nothing to drive.3. You can throw (yes, throw) your fancy-alloy-as-expensive-as-a-good-motorcycle-but-without-a-motor bicycle in the back, close the hatch and drive anywhere in North America. And on the way home you can stop at Home Depot for a new lawn mower and enough lumber to build an Enterprise class deck.Ok. Stop at WalMart and buy an armload of cheap pillows and some bungee cords to tie it down and keep the paint beautiful. Not that you ever clean it. Its still cheaper than one of those fancy racks.

42. Comment by Unknown | 11.2.2005 | 11:41 pm

    My problem is with the flimsy rack attached to my trunk. I have suffered far more injuries at the hands of that POS than I ever will on my bike. The thing is, you REALIZE the rack is there: The trunk lid is heavier and the straps are right in front of your face. But somehow, between lifting the trunk and closing it again, countless people (especially me) have completely forgotten about it and slammed themselves in the head. It’s an exquisite and completely unexpected pain. My favorite bike rack injury involves a friend who I drove to the airport a few months ago. She was flying to Chicago for an ex-boyfriend’s wedding. They had broken up years ago, but she is still ridiculously in love with him. En route to the airport, we had a long, serious discussion about the wisdom of attending THE HAPPIEST DAY OF HIS LIFE and the necessity of at least looking absolutely perfect. I parked at her gate and sent her around back to get her own bag out while I kept the car running. I heard a clunk and a shriek. The trunk rack broke her Jackie-O-esque sunglasses, which she intended to wear in the airport, on the plane, basically anywhere she might encounter people who would want to talk to her. (By the way, this friend has no reason to fear anyone talking to her, nor is she famous.) Her head was throbbing. But easily the worst part was a gash down her right cheek. I have no idea what sharp protrusion on the rack could’ve sliced her open, but something did. Weeks of clothes shopping, down the drain with one heedless slam of the trunk.Needless to say, the wedding proceeded as planned. Probably for the best.

43. Comment by Unknown | 11.2.2005 | 11:48 pm

    I have been guilty of both running a rooftop mounted bike into low-hanging obstacles as well as (nealry) dropping a bike off a trunk mounted rack at freeway speeds.I solved my rack-ineptitude in a very simple way that I believe addresses all of your concerns. I drive an ‘89 Chevy Cavalier 2-door coupe. It’s an old car, it’s not pretty, and I value function over fashion. So of course I chose to remove the back seat of my car (bench, back, and belts) and then hacksaw through a stray support or two in order to creat a rather wide pass-through from back seat to trunk.I can now "rack" my bike in my trunk; only having to remove the front wheel as is common with some other rack systems. In fact, I have carried two triathletes, their bikes, and their gear, all *within* my small-ish two-door vehicle.Let’s see how my system stands up to your criteria: * The "Steal Me" Effect Not an issue since the bike is inside the vehicle. * Excessive Effort Effect Not a temporary rack, so the effort is minimal. * "The Real Reason" It’s impossible to rack the bike "wrong". * "The Other Real Reason" No muss no fuss. Nothing to tangle. * Overhanging Danger Low overhangs are clearly not a problem. Only a serious rear-end collision could damage your ride. * Over-Racking Two bikes and two riders is do-able for my 4-cylinder monster. * Simple is Good The car is the rack. The rack is the car. What could be simpler? * Goodbye, Elegant Paint Job Eh, I never had one to begin with.Plus, the bikes don’t even get wet!I can provide pics if desired.

44. Comment by Unknown | 11.2.2005 | 11:58 pm

    Regarding my inner-trunk rack, I should have mentioned that it’s easy to *keep* the bike in your vehicle this way. "Why would you want to do such a thing?" I hear you ask. Once my much maligned internal-combustion vehicle broke down climbing the Vantage grade out of the Columbia River gorge. I was towed to Ellensburg where I arranged for a mechanic. Then I hopped on my bike and rode back over Snoqualmie Pass to home-sweet-Redmond. The next weekend, back over the pass again to pick up my newly repaired car.In short, it’s like a lifeboat for your car.

45. Comment by Unknown | 11.3.2005 | 12:07 am

    Ah yes, Ye Ole Roof-rack Loaded w/Bikes Plowing Into The Garage Trick… one of the things that binds countless cyclists together in a pathetic unspoken fraternity of shame. I’ve pulled this trick, not once… not twice… but three times, as sad as it is to admit. It all started back in my college days when I had a Thule 2-bike fork mount on the roof of my old 1981 Celica. This setup took me to many a century rides back in the day. On one occasion, I began a roadtrip from San Luis Obispo to San Jose to visit a friend. Not more than about 1 minute after I got up to speed on Hwy101 that I heard a huge THUNK! slamming into the rear window. WHAT THE HELL? Looking back in the rearview mirror, I saw all too well… the Thule rack attached to the roof raingutters on the car & I had apparently not tightened down the knobs hard enough, because it had peeled the front 2 mounts out of the gutters and the entire bike+rack contraption was upside down on my back window/trunk, barely hanging on by the last ½ inch of the rear mounts that had not yet let go, but were 3/4ths of the way out of the gutters. I could see cars behind me swerving to get out from behind me into the other lane. Amazingly, no damage to the bike, but the rain gutters were bent to heck and the roof now had a nice dent where the tire tray had pivoted off it. Thoroughly humiliated, I was at least thankful the contraption hadn’t launched itself into traffic, causing a multi-car wreck. After that, the knobs were always tightened down as hard as I could muster. So much so that they permanently bent the attachment points in the aluminum raingutters. Not the best design IMO. This should have been fair warning, but alas, it was only the beginning. A year or so later, after coming home from a particularly tiring century ride, filled with that mix of euphoria and exhaustion, I pushed the garage door opener remote, drove into the gar… KARUNCH! The car stopped dead in its tracks & that queasy feeling washed over me, realizing what a buffoon move I had just pulled. I backed up, got out, and found bent forks, seat, and handlebars as well as the actual rack rails bent. Amazingly, the knobs had held onto the raingutters. I had to take the racks and stomp on them w/all my weight to bend them straight. I vowed this would never happen again, so I started standing a ladder in my garage parking space, forcing me to get out of the car to move it, even if I opened the garage door forgetting all about the bike on top. This worked for years… until one day I was late for a roadride with a friend, rushed out of the house, closed the garage door… and thought, “Dammit, forgot the ladder…” I quickly dismissed this, thinking of course I would remember when I got back. It had become 2nd nature to stop, park the car outside, dilly dally, unload the bike, & then roll into the garage. The predictable KARUNCH that happened when I got home later that day is almost comical in retrospect. Bike rack = 3, Me = 0.As fate would have it, after I graduated from college & got a “real job”, I stopped biking, & bought a new sports car that wouldn’t accommodate the racks. Take that, Devil Rack! Bike rack = 3, Me = 1. Of course, you can take the kid off the bike, but you can’t take the bike out of the kid. Years later, I took up cycling again. Why did I ever quit?!?!? Regularly taking both wheels off & shoehorning the roadbike into the back of the fancy-pants car just wouldn’t do, so I finally entered the Land of SUV. I bought a pair of Yakima Lockjaw bike mounts for the factory roof rack. They were convenient because you didn’t have to remove the front wheel & were especially nice to use on trips when I couldn’t stuff the bike in the back of the Pathfinder because it was packed w/gear. Nice, until I came back one day from a routine roadride and uneventfully drove into the garage again with the bike on top. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME? Bike rack = 4, Me = 1.Defeated, I finally bought a Sportworks 2-bike rack that slides neatly into the Nissan’s 2” hitch and pivots up vertically when not in use. Takes all of 10 seconds to secure a bike on it (without taking off the wheels!), it’s burly enough to handle two 30lb mtn bikes off-road, and it got the bikes OFF THE FREAKIN ROOF…!! Bike rack = 4, Me = 2…

46. Comment by Chris | 11.3.2005 | 12:50 am

    It is a crime. The prices that the two top rack companies (you know the two) charge for their equipment is a crime. I own a Subaru that comes with a roof rack. The only thing missing to make it a viable bike rack are the connecting pieces to attach the bike to. But no. Thule and Yakima both claim that the factory rack is not up to their engineering standards and insist that you use their pieces from the roof up. Ironically, Subaru maintains that due to their superior engineering only Subaru components should be used on the car. Decisions by both companies that you can be sure were not made by their engineers but by their lawyers and sales folks. I refuse to pay >$600 to Thule or Yakima so I put all pretense of being cool aside and purchased the following: 1 1.5" by 1.5" by 48" angle steel, 2 fork mount clamps like are used in the back of trucks and assorted hardware. 6 Holes in the angle steel and a coat of rustoleum later and I had a bike rack mounted to the top my existing car rack using the ski rack adapters all for less than $60! I further solved the not cool portion of the rack by having Wife drive the car every day.Chris

47. Comment by Unknown | 11.3.2005 | 12:54 am

    i drive a full-size pickup (dodge ram1500) with a short (6′ long vs. 8′) bed. i have a thule rack which bridges the gap between bedrails. it accomodates 4 mountain bikes. it locks, but i don’t especially trust the lock as only the outward pressure on my bedrails keeps it in place. i have never had a problem with slippage. it stays in place just fine regardless of wind conditions. i have heavy cargo tie-downs in the bed which i use to secure the bikes. granted, it’s only a kryptonite cable lock but it gets the job done. the handlebars sit just barely above cab level, and there is nothing hanging out behind my vehicle. i did get rear-ended once with a full load of bikes and gear. it was nothing, and barely damaged my bumper. had there been a few bikes hanging out back there, they would have been flattened! so far the pick-up is the best transporter i have found. i don’t have to worry about all the muck getting all over everything, and i can just hose out the bed when i’m done.

48. Comment by Unknown | 11.3.2005 | 1:13 am

    FattyThis one IS the winner.One time at band camp… No, wait.Once upon a time…. Oh crap…No, now I remember, Two dude were dressed like nuns…. No that’s a Richard Pryor story…..Hmmm….I DID have a story in mind….I think.Sorry.Boz

49. Comment by Unknown | 11.3.2005 | 2:13 am

    So two friends and I finished our ride, loaded our bikes onto the roof rack of the Volvo and headed home. We had a little weed to smoke and pretty soon we were talking about who had ridden the fastest. Eventually, it seemed reasonable for one of my friends to suggest climbing on his bike on the roof of the car while I wound it up to 100 kph. So up he goes, and off we go.Unfortunately, no one did the basic arithmetic of car + bike + rider and when we blasted under an overpass, well the friend was what you might describe as "swept away". Picked clean away, too and, fortunately, the bikes were unscathed.So the moral of the story is never, ever mix bikes, Volvos, roof racks, weed and high speed. Oh, you meant a TRUE story?Sorry, my crappy bike rack works fine. Never had a problem with it.

50. Comment by Unknown | 11.3.2005 | 2:25 am

    Rocky, how do you know the "nice rack" comments aren’t directed at your man boobs?And for the record, elderly Ford Ranger with a few $9 universal mounts bolted to a 1×4. I can fit three or four bikes, upright, in the bed, with gear. The bikes lock to the tiedown loops and the little hooks in the floor, so no theft problems. Hence my absolute, infallible dearth of traumatic rack stories involving my own bikes. Except for looking uncool when I roll up to a ride start. I can console myself, however, knowing that my paintjob is still nice.

51. Comment by Unknown | 11.3.2005 | 2:44 am

    Not a story, just a potentially useful tip for roof [nerve w]racks.The tip: Get a cheap t-shirt in a garish, loud color (blaze orange, fluourescent lime green). Drop it smack in the middle of your parking spot in the garage whenever you go out with a bike on the roof.Believe me, every time your garage door goes up, you say, "Hunh? What’s that radioactive rag doing on the…oh, right. Put the car in park."For convenience, keep the fallen t-shirt wherever you store your bike indoors. Or actually tie it to the roof rack (if you regularly dismount the rack). Either way, your Flaming Reminder will be ready to go whenever you roof-mount your bike.Bonus: You can use the t-shirt to wipe down your bike, if that’s your thing, once you get it off the rack.Total cost: Whatever cheap t-shirts go for in your neck of the woods. Saving your Italian Job from being knocked out by Roofies? Priceless.

52. Comment by EricGu | 11.3.2005 | 3:05 am

    "And that means, eventually, getting a bike rack for your car…"Or, perhaps, getting a vehicle that will allow you to put the bike *inside* of the vehicle, thereby obviating all the problems with an outside rack. Though, to be sure, it’s hard to get a sporty vehicle that meets that definition.I usually put my bike in the back of my pickup, where the canopy keeps it reasonably secure, or in the back of the outback. I do have a 2" rack for the pickup, which is necessary when the tandems in the back of the truck. My wife is overjoyed with the receiver rack, since before I would agonize the whole time I had the bike on the strap rack.

53. Comment by Unknown | 11.3.2005 | 3:27 am

    So my story is not about me. I have one of those flimsy temporary racks, have had for years, since I have a convertible and I am not putting on a hitch. It does do horrors to the paint but nothing has ever fallen off, even though I lost the straps to velcro it in and just use a bungee cord now. It does look weird with the top down and bikes hanging off the butt but not as weird as this guy:The story regards a man who used to show up every week to my Wednesday ride. Apparently, a new baby was on the way at home, and his wife told him they had to get something to drive all the kiddies around in. His choice was trade in his mid-life crisis car and get something that could haul the bikes and kids or he could keep his toy and figure out some way to haul the bikes around himself, as there was no room in the second car for bikes and kids. His solution: showed up every week in a Porsche 911 with the bikes on top. I think the rack was longer than the car.

54. Comment by toby | 11.3.2005 | 4:25 am

    OK, so this isn’t a horror story, it’s a feel-good bike rack story. Nearing the end of a looooong drive from Arizona back to college in Kentucky, I decided it would be a good idea to pass a semi truck even though we were in the middle of a huge (by Kentucky standards) snow storm and the left lane hadn’t been plowed in about twice as long as the lane in which I was slowly following the truck. Of course, my little Honda Prelude didn’t perform well in the snow and I ended up in the median with snow over the hood, above the wheels, and my sweet old made-in-the-USA steel Barracuda on the roof-rack. After hitching a ride with a nice couple the final 20 miles into town, I persuaded my friend to drive BACK out in the storm in HIS Honda to get my bike off of the roof rack. We made it back with the bike on his temporary trunk rack (intact even!). Oh, and by the way, I have never forgotten to remove the bike from the roof before entering the garage. Although I’m sure I will now that I have typed that last sentence.

55. Comment by Jim | 11.3.2005 | 4:49 am

    The Broke-Ass Bike-Totin’ solution:Get a couple (or 3 or 4) universal bike fork mounts, attach to a 2 X 6 cut to width of truck bed and you can haul your bike(s) anywhere. I have had the same rack set up through a truck and an SUV, the only change being a different length board. Advantages? Bikes are lower than the cab of truck, affording priceless protection from the elements, bugs, and random road objects. Further, a cheap bike cable and a coule of combination locks secure all bikes, removed front wheels, etc. to the tie-downs in the bed of the truck which should cause would-be thieves to look elsewhere. Also, the grooves in my truck line-a-bed keep rear wheels in place, preventing movement when exceeding(!) the speed limit when one oversleeps before a century that is a 45 min. drive away. (Not that I have done this, but I have friends who have told me about it. ;-D )As an added bonus, when you arrive at said century, you can sit on the tailgate of your truck, inflate tires, put on cycling gear, etc. and the tail gate becomes an instant work stand (with the help of a Topeak folding mini-stand, of course) that keeps you out of the mud & muck for sometimes necessary repairs. The bike "rack" is easily removed, requires minimal storage, transfers from vehicle to vehicle easily, and can be upgraded by adding more universal mounts as necessary. What’s not to love?Trucks and cycling go together like peanut butter, banana & mayo sandwiches!

56. Comment by k | 11.3.2005 | 5:08 am

    While preparing to race the 12 Miles of Hell in Lawton, Oklahoma, my friend had pulled out her fancy trailer-hitch-bike-rack-cum-repair-stand from the Jeep. It’s one of those jobs that swings out away from the back of the vehicle so you can open the tailgate without removing or folding down the rack. Hot stuff.I came around from the side of the Jeep, full of excitement and pre-race jitters, and CLOSE-LINED the HELL out of myself on the extended rack. I was actually knocked on my butt from the impact. I had bruises for weeks. The best part of it all? We were camped right at the starting line, which was, at the time, crawling with the Pro/Expert riders who were getting ready to begin the day’s racing. *sigh* I should not be allowed out of the house some days…

57. Comment by Unknown | 11.3.2005 | 1:31 pm

    Those of you who have driven into the garage with the bikes on the roof simply don’t have enough bikes.

58. Comment by Unknown | 11.3.2005 | 3:45 pm

    As a former product manager for a line of rear mount (i.e., straps and hooks) and hitch mounted racks, I saw a LOT of poorly mounted racks. For the reasons you mentioned (tangled straps, etc), I took to using our most basic design since it mounted quickly, and worked just as well if one was careful to cinch everything down correctly. I had been a dedicated roof rack guy prior to that job, but had too many close calls with low structures. I am planning to switch to a hitch rack eventually, but with limited free time these days, I avoid driving to ride as much as possible.One tip for the garage impaired: put garage remote in your trunk. Of course, this gives a false sense of security, and it’s just too tempting that one time when your garage door is already open when you get home…There used to be an electronic roof rack accessory on the market that would warn you when you approached a low overhang while driving under 10 mph – clever, but I think it was $200. Cheap compared to $5000 bike, but we all think it won’t happen to us until we hear that crunch.

59. Comment by craig | 11.3.2005 | 4:27 pm

    I’m with Tim D.If cars go in the garage, where does the Bike Shop and repair studio go?

60. Comment by JPSOCAL | 11.3.2005 | 4:49 pm

    I’ve had roof racks and liked them but they always make me nervous. I’m always looking either at the shadow of the car to make sure the bikes are still there or at the reflections in store windows. I don’t park in a garage so i have never had the problem of driving into one with the bikes on top. I’ve never liked the idea of trunk racks. The bikes are too exposed to other idiot drivers. My perfect solution( and being and old guy helps with this) is a mini van. I’m way past caring about sporty give me practical every time. For two three or four people it is great. I can fit everything inside usually with one or two bikes I don’t even have to remove the front wheel. I always feel better knowing that my bike is safely inside with me. With my old Camry, it’s huge trunk allowed me to put one bike in there with all my gear. The only downside is that you don’t get to show off your hardware as you drive around town.

61. Comment by JPSOCAL | 11.3.2005 | 5:00 pm

    I’ve had roof racks and liked them but they always make me nervous. I’m always looking either at the shadow of the car to make sure the bikes are still there or at the reflections in store windows. I don’t park in a garage so i have never had the problem of driving into one with the bikes on top. I’ve never liked the idea of trunk racks. The bikes are too exposed to other idiot drivers. My perfect solution( and being and old guy helps with this) is a mini van. I’m way past caring about sporty give me practical every time. For two three or four people it is great. I can fit everything inside usually with one or two bikes I don’t even have to remove the front wheel. I always feel better knowing that my bike is safely inside with me. With my old Camry, it’s huge trunk allowed me to put one bike in there with all my gear. The only downside is that you don’t get to show off your hardware as you drive around town.

62. Comment by Douglas | 11.3.2005 | 5:11 pm

    Fatty, Rack snobbery: a subset of bike snobbery. How else are we to be able to judge your bike if you won’t put it on a rack? The same goes for your selection of a rack. If you truly feel that your box-mart or mcguyver special rack is good enough to carry your bike, then go for it. Just like your swanky bike, you really do get what you pay for. How much do those pesky engineers know anyway? More importantly, how much is your bike worth to you? With an external rack, you not only have the room to put your friends and the rest of your gear in the car (you don’t want to have to decide between your friend and his/her bike) You also allow the bikes/people ratio to be noted (my personal best, 5 bikes to one person). If you happen to have gone on a ride involving dirt, mud, water, blood and sports drink, none of this gets in the vehicle. Bike racks also allow for constructive criticism if you happen to have forgotten to take the race number off of your bike before driving home. I’m sure that the race/ride was THE event of your life, but just take the number off. Do you drive around with your bike helmet on? Do you wear your bike clothes home too?

63. Comment by Unknown | 11.3.2005 | 5:33 pm

    My man boobs are stealthily sustained by my Manzere® or my Bro®, (which ever persuasion you have a yen to subscribe to) so the "nice rack" commentary has to be at the bike rack…er…

64. Comment by Tom | 11.3.2005 | 5:58 pm

    Here’s my favorite roof rack story. Let me also claim this was a friend of mine (aka not me!)He bought a new roof rack for an Integra. He put it on his car in his garage – it was raining that day. Then, to his surprise and amazement, he had space to load the bikes up on the rack there in the garage! Woo hoo!I bet you can guess what happened next: As I – oops I mean _he_ – backed out of the garage, karrunch. Two forward-facing mountain bikes, damage to the seats, seatposts, rack, car roof, and garage door.D’oh.

65. Comment by Unknown | 11.3.2005 | 6:09 pm

    Now, if it were an acura _nsx_, I’d be impressed. :)

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