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I’d Ride, if I Could Just Get Out the Door

06.23.2006 | 10:35 pm

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18 Comments

Comment by Ariane | 06.23.2006 | 10:41 pm

I would like to know how long it takes Andy Hampsten to go from sleeping to riding, on the average.

…What’s a bio break?
Comment by Damon | 06.23.2006 | 11:04 pm

poop
Comment by Dodger | 06.24.2006 | 5:03 am

Twice in the morning? Wow, that must be some amazing coffee.
Comment by BIg Mike In Oz | 06.24.2006 | 5:50 am

I’m amazed that a man who can dedicate entire blog entries to a single bodily function, revealing the most profound insights along the way, demurely inserts a potty break into the conversation with the phrase "bio break".

In my youth I could go from sound asleep to pedalling in 6 minutes (8 minutes with food) every day of the week. Now I need at least 45 minutes – assuming the kids aren’t awake or the computer doesn’t call my name between spoonfuls of cereal.
Comment by barry1021 | 06.24.2006 | 1:22 pm

Have to admit I was stumped by Topping off Tubes for a minute, I was into thinking it was some esoteric frame maintenance or FC performing husbandly functions before I got the tire (oops sorry, tyre) thing. I would add the Review of What I Forgot that occurs in the first mile of the ride, like "Oh yeah I am on the fixie and I forgot the 15mm wrench again, great."
So can we get a report from Oz, like are people more excited about making it to the Final 16 or the Nicole/Keith wedding? Inquiring, brain dead minds want to know…..

B21
Comment by brendan | 06.24.2006 | 9:11 pm

B21:Report from OZ: who are Nicole and Keith?:-)
Comment by Unknown | 06.25.2006 | 3:11 pm

FC- You are not alone in your disorganization. At this time, I can’t ride outdoors due to injury, so I ride in my basement on my CycleOps300PT (it’s awesome and almost makes me forget about not being able to ride outdoors). I go through pretty much the same ritual each time I ride,
Comment by Tyson | 06.25.2006 | 6:42 pm

I had the same problem until I adopted the "No Going Back forStuff" (NGBS) rule. The only exceptions to the rule are if I forget my helmet or my bike. Yes, I forget the bike sometimes.. luckily I don’t get very far before I wonder why I took so much stuff on a walk.
Comment by brendan | 06.26.2006 | 4:00 am

The trick I use is to get out the door before I’m really awake. I set everything up the night before: clothes laid out on the floor, food on the bench in the kitchen, lights etc on the bike. I then chew on a banana while I get dressed and then just head out. I find that if I have anything that I need to actually think about, then I’ll be an hour late – just like fatty described.The other trick is to have a time to leave: e.g. I *must* leave the house by 6am or the world will end. Doesn’t need to be any particular reason for that time, but the night before I talk myself into the importance of that time, and don’t question it. Of course it’s easier if you use the same time each day.
Comment by Unknown | 06.26.2006 | 11:45 am

It also takes me half an hour to get ready after the alarm goes off, but that consists of 27 minutes of extra sleep, 1 minute to get dressed, 1 minute to get to the shed, and 1 minute to get through the gate and start cycling.

Unless (like BigMike) the kids wake up first. Then it takes about 3 hours to get on the bike.

TokyoB – Keith and Nicole appeared on the news, but football is much bigger. I think there will be some sleepy looking people at work tomorrow in Oz. A lot of people didn’t bother sleeping after the last game (straight from watching the game to work).

On to something completely different, you can claim some credit for my first cycling victory Fatty. Your epic cycling stories spurred me on to great heights. Admittedly it was a social, team race – but as someone who gets into ‘non-races’ against strangers on hills I thought you might appreciate the importance of winning even if it’s not really a race.

I will copy you on the race report. You probably don’t want to read the race report, but as I’ve read so much about your life I’m going to inflict it upon you anyway. Bwahahahaha.
Comment by Tom Stormcrowe | 06.26.2006 | 2:18 pm

Elden, a solution to hitting the snooze button if that is an unmentioned fault. Hook up an old fashioned ignition coil to the alarm clock and attach the output lead to your big toe. I absolutely, positively guarantee you’ll get out of the bed before you hit the snooze button and the adrenaline jolt would obviate the need for coffee and the biobreak would occur as you jumped out of bed. (Note: Depends might be in order.)WARNING: DO NOT USE HEI ignition coil, but instead, use the old fashioned breaker point ignition coil!
Comment by Sondra | 06.26.2006 | 3:59 pm

So the moral seems to be that your natural bike time is 7:15 – 7:30 am -ish. Apparently waking at 6 am muddles your brain. Sleep later!

Hope you are doing well, we’ve got Utah-like weather here this week. ~ Sondra
Comment by jim | 06.26.2006 | 7:25 pm

I too must know what a Bio Break is.

And are you like this for everything or just riding? Maybe your subconscious is trying to sabatoge any efforts to exercise.
Comment by Unknown | 06.26.2006 | 10:40 pm

For me, there are only two types of mornings. One is where I’ve carefully packed/laid everything out that I need (including keys, wallet, etc.). The other are the mornings that I’m horribly late for work.

Botched
Comment by Zed | 06.26.2006 | 11:30 pm

For me, I think the choice is more: do I ride … or stay in bed and spend the rest of the day feeling groggy? Groggy usually wins. Good for you for getting out, Fatty.
Comment by Unknown | 06.27.2006 | 2:36 pm

Man, this is funny stuff. I’ve encountered the same trap and the only way to beat it is to get up wayyyy earlier than the wife & kids, eat a quick PB&J, and stagger on out the door onto the bike, not worrying about whether toilet paper is stuck to my shoe, whether my gloves match or whatever. Sure, the first 10 miles is ridiculously hard and I’m nowhere near awake, but I’m off on the wheel and that’s what matters. It helps that in my LBS ride, four out of the seven or eight regulars are relatively new daddies, with kids under 4 years of age. Yeah, a 5:30 AM ride start sounds ridiculous, until you realize the kid would be waking you up by 6:15 anyhow. That early ride start has an advantage to it as well. Instead of leaving at 7:30 and cranking out 40 miles and being back by 10:00 AM, we’re now cranking 60-75 miles, and being back by 10:00. It is harder (and we’re riding a lot harder with fewer breaks) but it has definitely improved our training and removed a few wives from being permanently embedded on our butts…
Comment by barry1021 | 06.27.2006 | 3:46 pm

-Yes, I forget the bike sometimes.. luckily I don’t get very far before I wonder why I took so much stuff on a walk.-

LOL Tyson, but true, that’s why I use Look pedals, so I don’t go too far before i think "Why am I wearing these funny shoes?"

B21
Comment by Unknown | 06.27.2006 | 4:45 pm

Barry, on the wrench, try a Surly Jethro Tule. Leave it on your keyring. Hard to forget that way. It opens beer bottles too, so you can leave the hacksaw at home.

On the cleats, I ride with Look style pedals too, but I only do it because it’s easier to fall down with them, than with Time or Speedplays. As a middle aged fat man in lycra, I find that merely riding road bikes against much younger, faster competition simply isn’t humiliating enough, so falling down more often and walking like a penguin that crapped its pants really enhances the experience for me.

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