Story Problem
This is a one-question quiz, in the form of a story problem. It is not a trick question; you may assume that the obvious meaning of a sentence is the intended meaning. The answer to the problem follows the question, but you should nevertheless try to answer honestly and without looking over your neighbor’s shoulder.
There is an extra credit question. You may answer it if you like, but are not required to.
Ready? Let’s begin.
Data Points
Suppose each of the following is true:
- On Saturday, a cyclist (we’ll call him “Fatty,” for no particular reason) embarks on a bike ride. He begins at 6:30am, and ends his ride at 3:30pm.
- Saturday is a sunny day.
- Fatty does not wear any sunscreen whatsoever for the duration of this ride.
- Fatty is a conscientious rider and always wears a helmet.
- Fatty has recently reached the male pattern baldness threshold for which he has always told himself he would shave his head rather than do a combover, or get hairplugs, or get a wig, or do any other hijinks that are almost magically transparent.
- Fatty, having reached aforementioned threshold, has honored his commitment to himself and has shaved his head.
- On Monday, Fatty went on another ride, this time with Brad and Dug. This was another road ride.
- The originally-planned duration of this ride was 1.5 hours.
- Fatty does not apply sunscreen for any ride to last less than 2 hours.
- Midway through the ride, Dug — who is shortly leaving on a bikeless holiday and is therefore looking to get in some extra miles — suggested extending the ride by approximately 1.5 hours.
- Dug’s proposal was not met with resistance. Dug’s suggestions are rarely met with resistance, but that is not relevant to the problem at hand.
- Fatty continues to be a concientious rider and continues to always wear a helmet.
- For clarification purposes, you may assume “always wears a helmet” may be interpreted as “always wears a helmet while riding a bicycle.” Fatty can quite often be seen without a helmet when he is not on a bicycle.
The Question
Provided each of the above statements is true, what does the top of Fatty’s head look like?
The Answer
Extra Credit
Based on the pattern evident (and, believe me, it’s even more evident in real life) on Fatty’s noggin, what is the brand and model of helmet he wears?
PS: Come ride with me. Ever think to yourself, “I’ll bet I could kick Fatty’s corn on a bike?” Of course you have. This Saturday (June 16), 6:00am sharp, if you’re in the area, why don’t you come prove it. A few of us are meeting at the Kohler’s in Highland, UT, and riding the Gauntlet, in reverse direction and with an extra helping of “ow.” Meaning we’ll be going up to the Alpine Loop summit on the American Fork side, down to Cascade Springs, up to the summit again, down the Provo Canyon side, up South Fork, back to the canyon, up Squaw Peak, back down to Provo Canyon, up the Sundance side of the Alpine Loop, and then down the American Fork side again, detouring to climb to the Timpooneke parking lot and the Granite Flats campground to show that we left no climb unclumb. How long will this take? I dunno. Seven hours? Ten? There will be places to fill your water bottle, and there’s a possibility of a support vehicle, though I’m not certain on that point. Any questions? Bring them up in the forum.
PPS: Congrats to skinnycyclist(at)fatcyclist.com, the winner of the “choose your email address” contest. I love the symmetrical-yet-contradictory feel of this email address. Nice work, SkinnyCyclist! Your bag’s on its way (no seriously, it really is).
Comment by Lowrydr | 06.13.2007 | 6:47 am
Umm, the same kind that Botched wears?
Comment by Lowrydr | 06.13.2007 | 6:51 am
A Giro Eclipse maybe? And good call on skinny@ for the e-mail winner.
Comment by chtrich | 06.13.2007 | 7:06 am
A helmet with vents.
skinny@fat is good. Nice job.
Let’s ride!
Comment by Congo | 06.13.2007 | 7:08 am
Giro Atmos is my guess.
Comment by Big Mike In Oz | 06.13.2007 | 7:08 am
I have no idea what make and model of helmet you wear. I can’t even name 4 helmet brands let alone the models within the brands. I suspect I wear a Specialized, but that’s only a guess.
What I do know is that when I started shaving my head (because I want to be just like Fatty) I very quickly also started wearing a bandana everywhere (il pirato style).
** It soaks up the sweat better than the hair used to.
** It protects from the cold better than the hair used to.
and
** It keeps the sun from scorching funny patterns into my stupid head.
Comment by hobgoblin | 06.13.2007 | 7:23 am
Big vents–looks like a Giro Atmos to me. I don’t have this problem because I have lots of hair. (He says rather meanly.)
Comment by Mrs. C. | 06.13.2007 | 7:26 am
Yea, I’d go with the Atmos, too.
http://www.giro.com/main.html
This was fun, kind of a weird connect-the-dots.
Comment by kenny | 06.13.2007 | 7:38 am
OK , From one who has sported the helmet flairs on my bald naugin; I’ve come to this conclusion. That’s why i dont wear a helmet on road rides anymore. It’s not that i have a death wish, it’s vanity. Alright, maybe i do have a little bit of a death wish.
Comment by Brewinman | 06.13.2007 | 7:41 am
Nice use of light in the photo! And b/w to boot. Gives it a nice retro touch. Is Kenny your personal photographer?
Comment by BIKEMIKE | 06.13.2007 | 7:42 am
AGHHH! it’s the egg pod from Alien. i’m sure whoever took this picture is lying up waiting for the lizard-thingy to leap from their chest. eewww.
Comment by Al Maviva | 06.13.2007 | 7:45 am
Hmmm… If I had to guess, I’d say a Pickelhaube, 1914 vintage, made by the Krupp Stahlwerke, Duisburg, Germany. The one with the Russian spike finial, rather than the spike & ball favored by the Kaiser’s field artillery units. Which must look completely bad@55 with a Fat Cyclist jersey.
That, or a Giro Atmos, though the lack of a white stripe running across the middle brown wedge on the front of your head does bother me.
Comment by Brewinman | 06.13.2007 | 7:45 am
Giro Monza?
Comment by mariah | 06.13.2007 | 7:50 am
don’t have a clue, but the most important thing to remember fatty…. is make sure your kids are completely embarassed by their father and his sunburned noggin ;} it builds character. hee hee
Comment by LanterneRouge | 06.13.2007 | 7:54 am
Giro Pneumo, says I.
Comment by Boz | 06.13.2007 | 8:06 am
Thou I might be one step removed from bald, I still have enough hair left for creative helmet-hair styles. A little extra mouse before dawning the skid lid yields a great Klingon ridged dome effect after the ride. Mixed with sweat, the Klingon women in the group just can’t resist my allure. Try it sometime, you could get lucky.
Comment by BotchedExperiment | 06.13.2007 | 8:08 am
I’d totally come ride saturday and kick yer korn, but unfortunately, my hypochondria is acting up again and I have far too many things wrong with me to be able to ride a bike.
Comment by Novafrk | 06.13.2007 | 8:11 am
It reminds me of the Punisher… the skull Frank wears on his tee-shirt…
Comment by Boz | 06.13.2007 | 8:11 am
Oh, ya – if anyone sees Lursa and B’etor, tell em I said hi.
Comment by MTB W | 06.13.2007 | 8:22 am
Cool, this is like guessing the shape of a cloud. I think it looks like a ghost with eyes and its arms raised up and very skinny, short legs. Or maybe a cactus.
FC, you could let your hair grow so it only grows where the vents are, although it may look a little funny at work. It’ll be the “new look”, the “fatty look”. All the cool kids will be doing it soon (i.e. the captains of the speech team, etc).
Comment by Minneapollama | 06.13.2007 | 8:22 am
LG Titan
Comment by Chris | 06.13.2007 | 8:29 am
I get a very similar burn/ tan on my bald head with a Giro Atmos
Comment by Pista Largo | 06.13.2007 | 8:54 am
I’m guessin’ a Louis Garneau OZzy
Comment by Mike Roadie | 06.13.2007 | 9:08 am
Everyone is very close with the Giro Atmos guess, but my pate shows me that it would be the Giro Pneumo, not Atmos. The foto is a gas, but doesnt show the full splendor of your sunscreenlessness. Let us remember that sunscreen is a must (the new kind that blocks both UVA and UVB) in the battle against skin cancer. I’m not sayin’………..I’m just sayin’………..
Help me win this year’s Messenger Award: http://austin07.livestrong.org/mlevin
Comment by dpcowboy | 06.13.2007 | 9:09 am
Atmos, I think.
Comment by LanterneRouge | 06.13.2007 | 9:34 am
P.S.: Who loves ya baby.
Comment by sans auto | 06.13.2007 | 9:37 am
Based on the design atop your head, I can’t tell what brand it was. Based on the fact that there is a design there I will guess that you have a Specialized helmet.
May I also venture to guess that the big kids stole the “iz” off of the helmet and you took a shorter than normal school bus.
May I suggest that you find those big kids and invite them to run the gauntlet. I would bet they wouldn’t make it out of Am. Fork before they started looking for a bus home.
Comment by DOM | 06.13.2007 | 10:09 am
Clearly your sister did not take/arrange the photo. There would have been a lovely pinwheel of striped heads if she had.
Comment by regina | 06.13.2007 | 10:13 am
giro atmos. quick get the lines tattoo’d before it fades.
Comment by RoadRash | 06.13.2007 | 10:31 am
There is a familiar symmetry of the sunburned, v-shaped notches on the frontal left & right sides of your noggin’
Looks like a Giro Pneumo to me…
Comment by Kathy | 06.13.2007 | 11:20 am
That was the best story problem ever! No math, and you gave us the answer! So, how often do you have to shave your noggin’ before you get unsightly stubble? Do you shave it more or less often than you shave your legs? Just wonderin’. Nice to see a man who shaves as much or more than us women.
Comment by Big Boned | 06.13.2007 | 11:30 am
Fatty,
What has this become??? What have YOU become??? With all this artsy-fartsy stuff we’ve had lately I’m starting to think that the next Fatty field trip will be to France in July to visit the LOUVRE for pete’s sake!
I bet you really got that burn wearing your helmet while looking at the flowers at the Red Rocks Botanical Gardens (is that still there? Been a LONG time since I lived in SLC).
BB
Comment by Mrs. Coach | 06.13.2007 | 11:34 am
anyone know some good sunscreen that you can put on your head that won’t sweat into your eyes during a race?
Comment by MAJ Mike | 06.13.2007 | 11:45 am
Does Assos make a helmet?
Comment by KeepYerBag | 06.13.2007 | 11:47 am
I didn’t know Mapplethorpe had an interest in cantelopes.
Comment by Bob | 06.13.2007 | 12:05 pm
Elementary, my dear Watson. You wear a powder blue Vetta hockey helmet.
Comment by LanterneRouge | 06.13.2007 | 12:10 pm
Mrs. C I’ve had good luck with Skin-So-Soft Bug Guard Plus from Avon. The bonus is that it is SPF30 and also keeps the mosquitoes away.
Comment by aussie kev | 06.13.2007 | 12:12 pm
naughty naughty – my kids get grounded for getting burnt !!!! – slip – slop – slap – only known cure for sunburn – beer —— followed by more beer – oh and of course suncream kept in the fridge very relieving !!!!!
Comment by mbonkers | 06.13.2007 | 12:22 pm
Giro atmos, red to match the burn.
Comment by fatty | 06.13.2007 | 12:27 pm
everyone – why black-and-white? because the pattern stands out more clearly that way. also, i boosted the contrast a bit. as for how this picture was posed, at 6:30am woke my wife up and said, “i need you to take a photo of me” and handed her the camera. i then bowed my head toward the camera while she — still laying down and mostly asleep — took the shot.
kathy – i shave my head about every five days. my wife prefers it with a little stubble. i shave my legs about every three days, which is about when the twins start telling me it’s painful for them to sit on my lap while i read to them.
i shall not yet name the make/model of the helmet, though more than one person has got it right.
Comment by TimK | 06.13.2007 | 12:29 pm
seriously, heed Big Mike’s advice and get a bandanna, skull cap thing.
Check it out, a pink one
You might even get the folks at Twin Six to bring us another great piece of clothing.
Comment by Mrs. Coach | 06.13.2007 | 12:53 pm
LanternRouge- funny, thats actually what we use because its so waterproof. But my husband still complains about it running into his eyes. I thought maybe we could try that white stuff swimmers put on their noses or something?
Comment by dug | 06.13.2007 | 1:12 pm
keepyerbag, turns out, elden IS mapplethorpe. little known fact. don’t tell anyone.
bob, only paul rides the powder blue. don’t make me come up there.
Comment by Born 4 Lycra | 06.13.2007 | 1:19 pm
Must be the quality of my monitor but it looks like a World War 2 German helmet to me – oh you have not got it on – oops.
Comment by MTB W | 06.13.2007 | 1:35 pm
No, wait, I think its Big Bird!
Comment by LanterneRouge | 06.13.2007 | 2:33 pm
Mrs. C – Perhaps it’s because of my bushy unibrow, but I’ve never had a problem with it getting in my eyes.
Comment by Yukirin Boy | 06.13.2007 | 2:51 pm
he he that is funny.
I trust Susan realises what an opportunity she has for mirth and entertainment at FC’s expense here.
Comment by Drew | 06.14.2007 | 2:33 am
I too have shown my stripes in this manner before… Great pic! My stripes were burned through the vents of a Bell Ghisallo, and they looked very similar!
Comment by Rob | 06.14.2007 | 5:26 am
An extra from an Alien Nation episode?
Comment by Josh | 06.14.2007 | 6:45 am
If you guys need a place to stop on the 16th, I live about a mile and a half out of Provo Canyon on University…near a Wendy’s. I just bought a new bike and though I have a lot of studying to do for school, I might do part of the ride with you…
Comment by chtrich | 06.14.2007 | 7:51 am
Josh,
Come join us! If you need to study you can cut the ride of after we hit Provo canyon. It’ll be a good time……I hope.
Comment by MTB W | 06.14.2007 | 8:22 am
FC, the denver post did a story about Dave Nice’s upcoming Great Divide Race. http://www.denverpost.com/extremes/ci_6118259
Comment by MAJ Mike | 06.14.2007 | 8:37 am
My official FC jersey arrived yesterday and it will be broken in this weekend on a short escape to the Outer Banks of NC. I have hair so the only sunburn I will get will be on my shins.
Comment by austin | 06.14.2007 | 11:38 am
giro atmos. Im guessing in black.
Comment by austin | 06.14.2007 | 11:38 am
giro atmos. Im guessing in black.
Comment by austin | 06.14.2007 | 11:38 am
giro atmos. Im guessing in black.
Comment by Ricky | 06.14.2007 | 9:37 pm
What a waste!
I mean, what a waste of real estate. If you’re gonna keep posting pix like that, lemme sell some ad space and make some coin. I’m drawing up a Platinum, Gold, Siver, and Bronze sponsorship scheme this evening. Don’t talk to anyone about this-just me. I’ve got your back, I mean, noggin. Solid Gold, Fatty.
Oh yeah, can you repeat the question?
Comment by Ricky | 06.14.2007 | 9:37 pm
What a waste!
I mean, what a waste of real estate. If you’re gonna keep posting pix like that, lemme sell some ad space and make some coin. I’m drawing up a Platinum, Gold, Siver, and Bronze sponsorship scheme this evening. Don’t talk to anyone about this-just me. I’ve got your back, I mean, noggin. Solid Gold, Fatty.
Oh yeah, can you repeat the question?
Comment by Theresa | 06.14.2007 | 10:18 pm
Fatty, I were a headsweat cap under my helmet. I hate sweat rolling into my eyes; and I get extra protection for my face, which has a great deal of sun damage already. The pattern reminds me (from what I can tell) of my Atmos helmet, pink and silver, of course!!
Comment by Weean | 06.14.2007 | 11:12 pm
It’s a good job you wear your helmet too far back Fatty, or that (pneumo) sunburn pattern would look REALLY silly. Now only tall people and people behind your back will laugh at you.
Comment by Tom | 06.15.2007 | 3:06 am
I don’t think its a Giro.
Maybe a Selev or a Catlike.
Comment by Rocky | 06.16.2007 | 6:50 pm
So I am a little behind, but everyone went straight to the extra credit question. The real question was what does the top of Fatty’s head look like? The answer is: your melon looks like the mask from “Scream.” Or a skeleton. Or the Edvard Munch painting “The Scream.”
Comment by Rocky | 06.16.2007 | 6:51 pm
So I am a little behind, but everyone went straight to the extra credit question. The real question was what does the top of Fatty’s head look like? The answer is: your melon looks like the mask from “Scream.” Or a skeleton. Or the Edvard Munch painting “The Scream.”
I have no idea what helmet you wear. But I have an idea what they could call it.
Comment by Rocky | 06.16.2007 | 6:52 pm
So I am a little behind, but everyone went straight to the extra credit question. The real question was what does the top of Fatty’s head look like? The answer is: your melon looks like the mask from “Scream.” Or a skeleton. Or the Edvard Munch painting “The Scream.”
I have no idea what helmet you wear. But I have an idea what they could call it.
Comment by FliesOnly | 06.18.2007 | 10:46 am
Well, I might as well act like a lemming, follow the crowd off a cliff, and go with “Giro Atmos” as well.
Also, having very little hair left on top of my head as well (but yet I seem to be growing ample hair on my ears and lower abdomen…hmmmm), how does the whole shaving thing seem to be working out? I have told my wife that I might just give up and shave it all off, and she has said…”fine, go ahead.” Should I do it? Was it worth it…to not have to deal with hair any more?
Comment by Demonic1 | 06.19.2007 | 7:16 am
I wear a headsweat under my helmet too- “El Pirate” style. also because fo a shaved melon. I wear it mostly to stop the feeling of insects crawling around on my head after they get sucked in the vents while stomping the singletrack.
But due to the vagaries of helmet sizing and a very oval head I had to take the front helmet pad out for my Giro Animas for it to fit nicely.