Two Months
A Note from Fatty: I started three different "funny" posts today, but was unable to pull them off. So instead you get to read along as I work through the results of today’s visit to the oncologist. My check for therapy is in the mail.
Here’s an interesting hypothetical question for you. Suppose your doctor told you that in two months, you were going to need to start taking a kind of medicine that would make you sick a lot of the time, and tired pretty much all of the time, for the foreseeable future.
What would you do during those two months?
As those of you who’ve been following the blog for a while have probably guessed, today we found out that for Susan, this isn’t a hypothetical question.
Essentially, Susan’s got another two months to recover from her hip replacement surgery, and then she needs to start up on chemo again for another six months.
During the Next Two Months
During this upcoming two months, here are some of the big things we plan to do:
- She’ll start physical therapy and work toward getting so she can walk again.
- We’ll badger our kids every night to get their homework done.
- We’ll spend some time being angry that she doesn’t get long enough of a break for us to travel to Italy.
- I will harangue Susan as mercilessly as necessary for her to finish writing her novel (she’s about 80% done, but left off when the pain in her hip started occupying all her mental cycles). I encourage you to leave comments demanding she finish, as well.
So, what else? Well, if Susan is up to it, we’re going to take the kids to Disneyland like we’ve promised for…um…ever.
Otherwise, we’ll pretty much keep living the same as we were anyway. And to tell the truth, it makes me pretty happy to realize that when confronted with a big life event like chemo, we like our lives enough that we plan to keep chugging along like we were.
That said, we’re happy to hear suggestions.
Once Chemo Has Started Again
And how about once Susan has started with chemo again in a couple months? Well, here’s what’s on tap:
- Leadville 100: Susan’s coming with me to crew at Leadville 100 again. I seriously believe, however, that she’ll be feeling better and getting around better than she did last year. Unfortunately, I have no plans to train anywhere near as hard this year as I did last year, so she’ll be crewing for a very slow racer.
- Lots of Reading: Susan reads about three books per week. I expect this will continue. On this subject, I’d like to take a moment to gloat that I used my ability to choose excellent gifts to unparalleled effect this Christmas: I bought Susan an Amazon Kindle. It’s a gadget you can use to buy — wirelessly — books, and then read them. No hooking up to the computer, WiFi, or Internet connection necessary. It’s like magic. The gadget press has pretty soundly trashed the Kindle in their reviews, but the reality is that if you buy it because you love to read (i.e., not because you’re a huge nerd who thinks social networking is an important part of your reading experience), it’s an awesome little device.
- We’ll badger our kids every night to get their homework done.
- There will be a new "Fighting for Susan" jersey. It will be like the Original Fat Cyclist jersey, but with a new design. My prediction: you will want one. I do. More on this soon.
And otherwise, we’ll pretty much keep living the same as we were anyway.
Comment by Big Mike In Oz | 01.15.2008 | 1:54 am
I think it’s very selfish of you to not train for Leadville. You’re planning on forcing your wife to stay out there far longer than necessary. Harden up man!
The best gift you can give your wife is a sub 9 hour finish. That would of course be in return for the gift she gave you of a completed manuscript.
Comment by buckythedonkey | 01.15.2008 | 2:42 am
I think the best gift yo could give Susan would be a foot massage but only if she finishes the blasted novel.
I’m willing to bet that, with neither training nor high expectations, you have a thoroughl enjoyable Leadville.
Put me down for a jersey please – 2XL. Oh, and a copy of the book.
Comment by Big Boned | 01.15.2008 | 3:23 am
Fatty – Congrats on the stationary century – was there really any doubt? I’ll be sending you my receipt later today. Does that get me raffle tickets or is that an entirely seperate deal? For Leadville, if you train not your body, train your mind you must, young Jedi (of course that works better in theory than it does in practice, but it is important to have reasonable expectations and work towards them on race day).
Susan – Look woman, I’m wearing your jersey, I’m praying for you, and I’ve got $29.95 in escrow just waiting for you to finish that dang book – “get ‘er done!” already! Thank you.
Kids – you get back in that room and finish that homework!
My work is done here. Have a great day friends of fatty!
Big Boned
Comment by Bluenoser | 01.15.2008 | 4:20 am
Hang in there guys. Susan- my mind reading powers are not working so well these days, you’re going to have to get that book on paper.
-B
Comment by Alex from ZA | 01.15.2008 | 4:41 am
Susan – finish the darn book. There are many bibliophile bikers out here who want to read it!
Fatty – please get Susan to write a blurb then post it here so that everyone can determine how many copies they want to order!
A/
PS – Bibliophile biker sounded better than bibliophile cyclist.
PPS – Bike Mike is right – a sub-9 Leadville is the sort of thing a charitable husband who had his wife’s wellbeing in mind would do.
Comment by ming | 01.15.2008 | 4:42 am
susan, fatty, you guys rock. ive always heard you can tell lots of a person by how they react when they get hit with unpleasant news. i think the post above speaks for itself. keep on keeping on.
put me down for 2 jerseys and one copy of a book.
Comment by Mike Roadie | 01.15.2008 | 4:53 am
Jersey and novel package???
Proceeds to the LAF???
After paying expenses for the Italy trip (finally)???
Riding while reading??? Maybe not so much………..
Comment by bikemike | 01.15.2008 | 4:56 am
susan, i have this great idea for a book but two things hold me back.
i doesn’t rite very wel and my centinces tend to ran on beyond the point of anyone caring to red more of it or sumtimes i will not spell corectish.
just finish the dang book, will ya.
getting my 11 year old to do homework is like pulling teeth through the bottom of your feet. can’t imagine doing it with four kids.
i predict next year susan will do leadville and fatty will crew for her.
Comment by Al Maviva | 01.15.2008 | 4:58 am
I don’t know what I would do with two months of relative freedom, but I can tell you what I wouldn’t do.
I wouldn’t ride a set of rollers for 6.5 hours, at least not until *everybody* in the family was in bed. I don’t care if the rollers were the deluxe model that comes with a little Brazilian dude named “Serge” who steps up and spritzes your face with Evian every two minutes.
I wouldn’t do the rehab in a grim hospital basement physiotherapy center, if I could help it, preferring to share misery of stretching and exercises atop scenic mountains, in beautiful valleys or in nice woods. Not sure where you’d find places like that where you live, but I’m just saying, I wouldn’t go through all that stretching and stuff indoors in a stinky hospital if I could help it.
I wouldn’t take life too seriously. The good things in life are hugs and warm blankets and your kids waking you up too early on Saturdays and stiff cups of black coffee, maybe bike rides with friends and catching the perfect sunset, which is any sunset that comes right as you are getting back to your house after a long ride. Most of the other stuff isn’t worth worrying about. Sure, you have to work and all that, but being able to work without getting worried is the trick. Take the warm blankies and hugs and coffee seriously. Not so much, the other stuff.
I wouldn’t hold back as much. Love more deeply, laugh harder, smile longer. Suffering in some ways can be a gift that strips away the non-essential. When you’re faced with a great trial, you have a chance to gaze on the important things in life and to remember what matters, and one of the things that matters is to spread joy and love by experiencing it.
I wouldn’t try to feel happy all the time. Part of the roller coaster ride is fear, and maybe some getting angry too. You can’t choke off part of yourself any more than you could lose a wheel and keep riding up a hill. If you’re pissed, let yourself be pissed. Go out for a bike ride and climb a hill so hard you barf. Ride your friends into the ground. Holler at a driver that cuts you off. (But not if he has a shotgun rack with a gun in it…”of course it’s loaded… gun ain’t no damn good if it ain’t, now is it?”)
I wouldn’t try to think about this time in your lives as something you will get over. It’s a struggle, a fight, something you maybe live through, like all tough times, and it will probably change you, but you will also measure yourself by how you came through it afterwards. You don’t get over it, any more than you “get over” a tough final exam or the loss of a pet. It becomes part of you. You know what Vince Lombardi said he was most regretful about having said? “Winning isn’t everything; it’s the only thing.” A couple years after that expression became a cliche he said he regretted having said it, because it didn’t mean what everybody thought it meant. What he was trying to say is that the only thing, was totally dedicating yourself to winning, to leaving everything you had out on the field. He didn’t mean that only wins counted; he meant that the quality of your struggle was what you should be judged by, and he was a relentless coach only because he knew how much his players were capable of and the noble heights they could reach by sinking lower, digging deeper, in order to reach their potential. If it’s good enough for Vince, it’s good enough for you.
I wouldn’t forget that you have friends to draw on in the next couple months. One problem with having a date for more suffering to begin is that you make it out to be bigger than it is. Once you’re engaged in the next round of chemo, it will surely suck, but it won’t be as bad as it seems to you now, viewed from this spot in time. For some reason suffering frequently has the exact opposite perceptual footprint of physical objects – the closer you get to suffering, the smaller it seems. Friends and loved ones are kind of like ladders and forklifts, they can lift you up and give you perspective and let you understand that the suffering isn’t that huge of a deal to you, that it may be tough but you can overcome, and there are good things on the other side of it.
Finally, I would never forget how good things are. It could *always* be worse, and for a whole lot of suffering bastards, it is.
Okay, there, that’s what I wouldn’t do in your shoes. This Hallmark moment has been brought to you by my third cup of coffee, and thankfully it’s exhausted all the Nice and most of the Profound that I had lying around in reserve.
Comment by cyclostu | 01.15.2008 | 5:07 am
Al Maviva for President, Dhali Lama, Spiritual Advisor, Motivation Speaker, and/or Coach or the Year! Seriously though – good words Al.
Comment by Born 4 Lycra | 01.15.2008 | 5:08 am
Wow Al is a hard act to follow.
Susan finish the book or Al will be round once a week until you do.
Kids do your homework for the consequences see above.
Fatty don’t really care how you aproach Leadville but the 9 hour mark will always be there so might as well give it your best shot for yourself and most especially your crew.
Looking forward to the Jersey.
Comment by Pammap | 01.15.2008 | 5:29 am
Wow, Al. That reserve of yours must have been quite full – what you have written is amazing and touching! Not like the reputation you seem to have on this blog.
Fatty and Susan, my prayers are with you both now as you anticipate the chemo and then as you experience it. My vote goes to: finish the book! Books are good. Books add value to our world. I, for one, would love to read it.
Homework, ah yes, such fun! I was blessed with two kids that always did their homework without prompting and two kids that avoided it like the plague. Fortunately the homework-avoiding children were far enough apart in age that I only had to deal with one of them at a time. Here’s the key when all else fails: figure out what they love the most and take it away until the homework has been completed. Threatening to let another sibling use said item also gets their attention. In case you were wondering, yes, I am the meanest mom in the whole world.
Also, I am very happy to hear about the up-and-coming “Susan” jersey!! Yes, I want one!!!
Comment by Mike Roadie | 01.15.2008 | 5:57 am
Al:
You are the ALMA of this blog!!!
Comment by traildiva | 01.15.2008 | 6:06 am
What Al said. How can you follow that?
Take care of yourselves and each other. There are about a gazillion people out here thinking good thoughts for you every day.
Comment by Nik | 01.15.2008 | 6:16 am
Love my Kindle!!!! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! Praying for Susan (and the rest of the crew, of course!) and already wanting a new jersey. Susan, in regards to the book – Get ‘er done!
Comment by Joe G | 01.15.2008 | 6:22 am
Susan, I hoping that you do well and continue with your recovery, and please finish the novel. I’ve been reading too many history books and I need something a little different!
Fatty, good luck on Leadville, finish strong! (Who needs the excess training!) Put me down for a copy of the book and a Jersey (Large)!!!
Comment by Lifesgreat | 01.15.2008 | 6:35 am
Susan, those of us who can’t write are waiting around for those who can!
Fatty’s kids, I live a few minutes away from you and ask my kids, I
can “motivate” even the most pokey homework do-er.
Fatty, thank you for the update. Good luck with the Leadville training! It is a cool goal to work toward.
Al, nice comment.
Comment by randomhigh | 01.15.2008 | 6:47 am
Al- you big softie, you… Hallmark’s got nothing on you :)
FC- here’s one thing you can do in the next 2 months once Susan’s feeling stronger… take Susan out on a date!! if you can’t go to Italy, bring Italy to her….
Nelson brood- there are worse things than doing homework… cleaning out the garage, scrubbing the kitchen floor with a toothbrush, cleaning the windows whilst dangling from a flimsy rope… count your lucky stars and do your homework, kids
Susan- as a pestering fan, please finish your book!! hope you get strong soon… so you can finish your book!! (your hubby has given us readers the task of haranguing you to finish your book and of course, we happily oblige hehehe)
FC- almost forgot… hurray for the fighting jersey!! sign me up for one!!!
Comment by DP | 01.15.2008 | 6:53 am
Fatty,
I like the idea of a family trip to Disneyland – but I would go to Disneyworld instead. Stay right on the Disney campus in one of the Disney hotels- it is so easy to go to the different Disney parks if you are staying there. It would really be great for Susan who could go hang with the family at the park for a bit and then easily go back to the hotel for a rest if needed and then come back and join the family later. No worrying about getting up early and drive to the parks each day – you are already there.
Get the park-hopper pass which allows you access to any of the four or five Disney parks at any time. This way your older kids can come and go between the parks as they want using the Disney shuttle.
Call Disney and have them help with special arrangments for Susan – wheelchairs, shuttles, etc. The people at Disney are great and very helpful. Enjoy!
Comment by DP | 01.15.2008 | 6:58 am
One more thing – Susan – don’t worry about the novel. Don’t pay attention to the crazy comments here about using the precious two months you have for that. Party, party, party. You can finish the novel later.
Comment by fijiwriter | 01.15.2008 | 7:04 am
Dibs on a medium jersey.
Good look to all of you, and our prayers go out to the family.
Comment by Boz | 01.15.2008 | 7:26 am
The pot o’ gold at the end of the rainbow after the raging storm of suffering that is chemo wil be -
A long, healthy life.
Grand children.
A happy, stronger marrige.
Sequals to the novel.
The incredible inner strength to take on any challange with the knowledge you crushed cancer and nothing can stand in your way.
Peace
Comment by chtrich | 01.15.2008 | 7:53 am
Keep on Keeping on……
and finish that book while you’re at it!
Comment by Don (cyclingphun.blogspot.com) | 01.15.2008 | 7:56 am
Yea! I’ll finally get to buy a pink jersey before its too late! And maybe I’ll get a book to boot? Is that what you’re telling me? You guys need to get to Italy. How long is that going to push you back? Continued prayers for you guys!
Comment by Kellene | 01.15.2008 | 8:32 am
I put dibbs as the family member that goes to Disneyland to help manage the crew! Plan it. Now! School, work and all the other stuff will always be there. Do it while everyone can enjoy!
Get going on the book…I know you as the creative, artistic talented one. We are anxious!
Love you guys…
Kellene
Comment by KT | 01.15.2008 | 8:45 am
Brother Al, amen. Thanks for saying what’s in all our hearts.
Susan: don’t feel pressured to finish the book. You’ll finish it, in its own time. What’s it about, and will it be availalbe on Amazon?
That Kindle thing: how cool is that? I could just keep my library in one place instead of spread throughout the house on most horizontal surfaces. It would be easier to dust, too. :) But do I take my bike money and get a Kindle, or wait until after I get a new bike and THEN get a Kindle. It’s a dilemma.
Nelson kidlets: Do your homework. Seriously. Do not make me come over there. Math is important. So is History, and English, and Science, and whatever foreign language and instrument you happen to be studying. Do not make me demonstrate.
Fatty: If it doesn’t make you happy, don’t train hard for Leadville. Instead, train “the Jedi way”: trust in the Force to help you finish sub-9. :)
Have fun at Disneyland-World-wherever!
Comment by Dobovedo | 01.15.2008 | 9:05 am
Must… resist… the… urge… to… point out that the words…
“i.e., not because you’re a huge nerd who thinks social networking is an important part of your reading experience),”…
…appeared DIRECTLY adjacent to the huge SOCIALRANK link/logo on the right hand column. Oh, the irony! :-)
Wishing Susan a good two months and and even better (in terms of success and recovery, if not comfort) six months following and and even bestest forever-after-more.
Comment by Morgan | 01.15.2008 | 9:22 am
If Al Maviva can write novels on a blog, Susan, you too can finish your work of words. I wouldn’t mind a copy of both. I’m already in for a jersey.
The Unabridged Book of Al-isms. Kinda catchy?
Comment by Jill | 01.15.2008 | 10:08 am
Susan … Wow! I had no idea a novel was in the works. I can’t wait to see it. Course, you gotta finish it first.
And kick some cancer butt. Everyone here knows you’re the stronger contender, anyway.
Elden … congrats on the roller century. That kind of mental fortitude is really impressive.
Comment by Brandy | 01.15.2008 | 10:36 am
Sign me up for 5 jerseys please !!
And Susan, please finsh the book, beacuse I am so getting a Kindle now. How freaking cool. It would also be freaking cool to read your novel on it !!
WIN !!
Comment by MagicRoundabout | 01.15.2008 | 10:59 am
I may have popped my head above the parapet once before. I’m another big fan. I’m another who should be signed up for a Jersey, despite living in the UK (will they ship to me?). I’m another that will pray for you guys and wish you all the best for the next few months.
And if you ever get the time to go to Italy let me know – it’s one of my favourite holiday destinations too! :-)
Comment by BotchedExperiment | 01.15.2008 | 11:22 am
Susan, just write the last few pages; that’s usually all I read anyway.
Fatty, I once rode my rollers for 45 minutes! I thought you’d be proud.
Comment by 29er | 01.15.2008 | 11:35 am
Fatty- I knew you could do those 100 miles, way to go! Glad for a chance to get a Susan Jersey. I joined the fan club too late to get the first one.
Susan- I just joined a book club. We would love to read a local author! Good luck with the finishing touches! You remain in our prayers.
Comment by Clydesteve | 01.15.2008 | 11:43 am
Elden, nice post – You guys are still in my prayers.
Al, thanks… for stopping short of quoting from “The Desiderata of Happiness”.
Comment by Clydesteve | 01.15.2008 | 11:44 am
…. but I was worried about paragraph five! ;-)
Comment by Al Maviva | 01.15.2008 | 12:13 pm
Clydesteve – I thought about just saying “make whoopee lots and get drunk” but then I realized that Elden doesn’t drink alcohol plus there are already *plenty* of Mormons in Utah, so the statement would be impractical and surplus at the same time. Pardon me if my phrasing is clumsy, but the Warden won’t let us have a thesaurus *or* Strunk & Whites, and they’re going to throw me off this computer if I don’t come up with another pack of Marlboro lites. They’re like money in here, you know.
Comment by Denise | 01.15.2008 | 12:44 pm
Wow Al! What other talents are you hiding from us? ;-)
Susan, my continued prayers are with you and I am anxiously waiting for the opportunity to purchase your novel….nudge nudge.
FC, I am laying claim to one of the new jerseys as well…..I missed out the first time but want to be sure that doesn’t happen again….ladies medium please :-)
Comment by rexinsea | 01.15.2008 | 12:57 pm
Elden, Susan – what a wonderful gift that you love your life so much you wouldn’t change a thing. Enjoy your gift.
Al – wow – words for all of use to try to live up to in our own ways. Thanks.
Comment by Mark | 01.15.2008 | 1:01 pm
Sign me up for a few jerseys, too!
Any ideas on a time frame?
Comment by Jodi | 01.15.2008 | 1:09 pm
I’m going to Disneyland with you guys.
I’m bringing my son.
I like that we will have a reliable nanny (Kellene) as the help.
Pleeeeeeeeeeeze???
Comment by Daddystyle | 01.15.2008 | 1:29 pm
Al M says it all so ditto from the Stanhopes in Halfmoon Bay BC.
We are thinking about you often. Cancer can and will be beaten.
Susan, if YOU want to finish that book do so but that is for you to decide, not us. Peer presure, my goodness are we still in high school.
That said good or bad, we will buy a copy when the time comes.
With 2 months of FREEDOM take time to enjoy and appreciate the things that mean the most to you.
Fatty, may not be a century on the rollers but I rode [one layer short of being warm enough]100k in the rain, then snow bucking a 60km wind on the way home last week. I was so tempted to call home for a ride but… thats like quitting and like you and Susan I ain’t no quitter.
Ride on Nelson’s and may the wind be always at your back.
Comment by bikemike | 01.15.2008 | 1:35 pm
hey Al, i was the skinny white guy hanging out in the prison yard pumping iron with all the brothers. please get me a job in the library with you. they don’t call me bikemike for nuttin’. (help me please!)
Comment by Miguel | 01.15.2008 | 2:46 pm
Hello Fat Cyclist!
Susan. Finish the book. This is the last round, the final lap… the finish line is in sight (albeit only because you are at the top of one crest and can see over the next two crests to the finish at the top of a very large ridge…). You can do it!
Other than that, may I have your mailing address? And if you are going to go to Disneyland could I suggest the weekend of Feb 9-11th? I will be there at that time and would love for you to meet my lovely fiance and her family. Additionally it is possible that you could get a much better deal on your tickets if a resident of southern CA buys them for you (two parks for the price of one). If you are interested please let me know…
Thanks! Good luck with everything!
Comment by Pregnant-and-getting-fatter Cathy | 01.15.2008 | 3:33 pm
Dang, Al. All this time and I thought you were nothing but a shallow pinhead. Then you come out with something like that and completely blow away all my preconceptions. ;-)
Susan, how very cool you are writing a novel! I look forward to reading it. And good luck with the chemo. You are a strong woman, you can handle this.
Comment by Julia | 01.15.2008 | 4:23 pm
Susan, Do whatever you please. Tell your husband what to do with his precious two months. And eat, Honey, eat.
Comment by dawn | 01.15.2008 | 4:54 pm
Susan, finish the novel, that way you can strip Elden of the title “the writer in the family”
Oh, and I am envious of your Kindle. I love reading and I travel, would have been a perfect gift except my significant other couldn’t find one in time for the holiday.
Comment by Harp | 01.15.2008 | 5:45 pm
Susan, Hope to see the novel soon. I’m sure finishing something big like that would make you feel better.
Comment by aussie kev | 01.15.2008 | 7:16 pm
if it helps i can call your kids on skype and say “do your homework” !!!
going by your “static 100″ time you should be on for a awesome leadville time ( sub 7 hours ).
k
Comment by neilro51 | 01.15.2008 | 8:24 pm
Fatty, you and your family are in my prayers. Put me down for a med. jersey!
Comment by Mild Bill | 01.16.2008 | 1:03 pm
I do not own a single cylcing jersey (and I’m a roadie!), but I may have to throw down a new look when the new one comes out.
Chin up, team, teh world is behind you!
Comment by Dobovedo | 01.16.2008 | 7:11 pm
Here’s an idea… let’s all start pre-ordering the book. With orders in hand, she’ll have no choice but to finish.
And I’m so glad I read all the comments, since I somehow missed the last sentence where you mentioned ‘em.
Comment by Rebecca | 01.16.2008 | 7:29 pm
As someone that had chemo just a few hours ago (I waited for the benedryl to wear off before commenting), it will always seem worse until you are in the thick of it. Then, after a treatment or two, it’s just “that’s all you got?”, followed by a “Bring it on!”. Resting after the surgery is key, but also getting strong and healthy will make the chemo that much easier. Work up to a goal workout, big or small, and reach for it. When the chemo finally starts, keep up as much activity as possible, even if it’s not much. Being still brings on fatigue, and that’s a vicious circle you need to stay away from. I’m struggling with swelling and limited range of motion in my shoulder, but it’s better each week I do kick boxing (I know of all the activities, WHY kick boxing?? To work out the frustrations!).
My other suggestion is to FC readers. We are somewhat global. While Susan can’t travel to Italy, it would be cute for all of us to do short ‘travel’ videos of our home towns and share them. A virtual vacation for Susan. It’s not like she’d want to visit all of us, but we could cheer her up when she’s having down time.
Comment by Medstudentitis | 01.17.2008 | 2:12 am
I’m sorry to hear that your plans have been ruined and that Susan is going to have to undergo more chemo sooner than expected. I am hoping for the best for you both.
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