Terrified
Before I begin today’s post, let me defuse it, because while it would be the easiest thing in the world to make this a dramatic and frightening post with a twist ending, that’s only entertaining in the movies.
Anyway, it sure didn’t feel entertaining as I lived it.
So: while it won’t seem like it for a lot of this post, Susan comes out of it OK.
But that doesn’t change the fact that Friday was one scary day for me.
Thursday
Last Thursday, something changed about Susan. She became weaker. Much, much weaker. Where she had been able to get around safely — albeit slowly — with the walker, suddenly her knees started giving out every couple of steps.
Susan never fell, though. She’s learned to be extremely careful in how she gets around, and doesn’t take a step without being certain that should her legs buckle, she can support herself with the walker, a rail, or something else.
She’s learned to not trust her legs, essentially. Consider how different your life would be if you had to think that way. To not be able to assume that when you put weight on your leg, that it would hold.
Susan’s feet have been numb — not entirely paralyzed, but effectively without feeling — for more than a month now, but on Thursday some feeling started coming back.
And it felt a lot like how your legs feel after they’ve been asleep for a long time and now they’re waking up. Buzzy, and painful. Enough to warrant breaking out the Lortab, which Susan doesn’t often do.
Friday
On Friday, Susan could no longer get out of bed by herself. Or get into the car by herself. Or do anything by herself. Her strength had abandoned her completely, in record time.
By coincidence, this was also the same day she had an appointment with her oncologist. It’s a good thing we have the ramp in the garage now, because there’s no way Susan could have made it down the two stairs; she would have been trapped in the house.
The doctor ordered some CT scans, but couldn’t really offer a lot more than sympathy. The fact is, once cancer has entered the spine and brain like they have with Susan, you can radiate, and that’s about it. And we’ve already done that.
There’s a chance, the doctor said, that the symptoms were caused by coming off the Decadron too fast, so Susan should go back on and we’d see if that had any effect.
He didn’t sound hopeful.
So we went to our favorite little Italian restaurant for lunch (La Dolce Vita, for those of you who are familiar with Provo, UT), then came home.
And then Susan slept for the rest of the day. Just slept and slept. She couldn’t stay awake, no matter what.
And I started quietly panicking.
I took care of the kids. I took care of Susan. I didn’t call anyone and ask for help, because I didn’t want to say what I was worried about out loud. But one thought kept running through my head over and over: this is what it’s supposed to be like when the brain tumors come back. This is how it ends, and it’s happening now.
And it’s happening fast.
If you’ve ever been in a situation where you can see disaster coming — like an unavoidable serious car crash or bike crash or whatever — and you’ve had that moment of terrified certainty that you were about to die, you know how I felt, except that’s how I felt the whole afternoon and night.
Later, Susan told me she was sure that’s what was happening too, but she still couldn’t help but sleep.
Saturday
Saturday morning, Susan told me she felt better. She didn’t have the compulsion to sleep. She was able to sit up again. She was able to move around using the walker again — first tentatively, then increasingly confidently.
Just 24 hours back on the Decadron, and Susan had gotten her mobility back. If that’s even what it is. I don’t know for sure. It makes sense, though: Susan went off the Decadron on Wednesday, and Thursday is when she started losing mobility. She went back on it on Friday, and by Saturday she was doing better.
Looks like we need to wean her off the Decadron more slowly next time.
My sense of relief manifested itself in a weird form: home improvements. I mounted a permanent rail in our bathroom, so it’d be easier for Susan to get in, out, up and down.
Susan says it’s one of the nicest things I’ve ever done for her. And it really helps. (And so far, it hasn’t pulled out of the wall, which is really great, considering my general level of handimanitude.)
Looking at this photo, I just noticed that I haven’t cleaned up the sawdust on the floor.
Next, I put in a new hose-style showerhead, making it a lot easier to help Susan get clean:
As an interesting aside, one of the real perks of us both being bald is a really clean, spartan shower. No arrays of bottles of various shampoos and conditioners. No hair clumps. Just two bars of soap (mine’s Dial, hers is Dove) and a razor (mine).
Next up: putting a rail in the shower. I’m not sure how to drill through the tile yet, though. I’ll probably bug Bry about helping me with that; he’s going to regret ever having met me.
Paranoid Tendencies
Like I said, everything’s OK, this time. But this last few days has told me something about myself that I can’t honestly expect to change: I now expect the worst when anything goes wrong with Susan. To tell the truth, I’m still having a hard time believing that she’s OK now; it’s difficult for me to believe that something could actually get better that fast.
It’s like when she had a cold a couple of weeks ago: I was sure the lung tumors were back, even though everyone else in the family (except me) had the exact same cough she did.
I can’t help it: I expect worst-case scenarios all the time now. When I sheepishly told the doctor this, he said, “Well, of course you do.”
And I can’t even begin to describe the relief I’m experiencing at being wrong this time.
Comment by Jenn @ Juggling Life | 09.1.2008 | 12:05 am
I’m glad the steroids helped. I’ve been through this a couple of times now (my mom and close friend) and I feel so much for what you, Susan, and the kids are going through. I have nothing to offer you but sympathy and good thoughts–and these I send in plenty.
Comment by David Dobedoe | 09.1.2008 | 12:43 am
Hey fatty ;-)
Love the site and feel for you and your family. As a keen cyclist who like many others has the somebody I love suffering I think I understand a little of what your going through. Make sure you take care of yourself so you can take care of others.
You need a special drill to drill tiles properly and sounds like your about as good at this stuff as me so why not get your friend to help out and feed him cakes for the privilege? Works for me. Take Care D
Comment by BrindiCruiser | 09.1.2008 | 12:46 am
thinking and praying for you all. Best of luck.
Comment by Mike from Melbourne | 09.1.2008 | 1:18 am
Your concern for Susan is to be expected and shows how much love you have for her. She is a special lady and I’m glad that she is feeling better again. All the best. Win Susan !
Comment by the greg | 09.1.2008 | 1:36 am
fatty, i’m not good with stuff like this, so forgive me, but that’s gotta suck man. i’m usually pretty stalwart, but when my wife gets sick, well, lets just say i blubber alot. my heart goes out to you dude.
Comment by aussie kev | 09.1.2008 | 1:42 am
Decadron rocks – keep strong the 2 of you
k
Comment by Ginger | 09.1.2008 | 2:53 am
I’ve never commented before, but I feel compelled to send prayers your way. I can’t begin to imagine how hard Thursday and Friday were for you and Susan, but so glad that the Decadron proved you both wrong.
My husband and I have you in our thoughts.
Comment by Graham | 09.1.2008 | 3:02 am
So glad to hear Susan came through that OK. Can’t even imagine how scary that must be.
Drilling through tiles: put some sticky tape over the spot where you want to drill – stops the drill bit slipping. A normal masonry drill bit should work fine, but go really slowly. If you got a hand drill, rather than an electric, so much the better.
WIN Susan!
Comment by Hoggy | 09.1.2008 | 3:19 am
You got in before me Graham, he’s spot on Fatty.
WIN Susan
Comment by Tim D | 09.1.2008 | 3:49 am
Drilling through tiles can be tricky. I’ve not had a lot of luck with the sticky tape trick or with using just a masonry bit. My usual method is to knock a spot of the glaze off with a hammer and either a nail or centre punch. Specialist tile drill bits also work much better than masonry bits, a lot less inclided to wander.
Pingback by Terrified | Randomblog blog | 09.1.2008 | 4:40 am
[...] Terrified Posted by admin on September 01, 2008 random Before I begin today’s post, let me defuse it, because while it would be the easiest thing in the world to make this a dramatic and frightening post with a twist ending, that’s only entertaining in the movies. [...]
Comment by Little1 | 09.1.2008 | 4:58 am
2:01
may the grace of the lord be with you always.
Comment by hana | 09.1.2008 | 6:10 am
Hi Fatty… long time reader… non-biker…
Even if i don’t comment often, I’m praying for you and Susan.
There’s probably a lot of folks like me here at the ‘net!
Comment by Mike Roadie | 09.1.2008 | 6:27 am
Thank you, THANK YOU for putting the ending first. I froze when I saw the post “Terrified” on a Sunday, no less.
Glad to hear it was temporary and that Susan is coming back around. It was all a ruse to get you to do some projects around the house!
Nice razor!!
WIN
Unite
LiveSTRONG
Comment by Lizzylou | 09.1.2008 | 6:33 am
Fatty,
I grew up in a family where emotions were something we bottled up, and they were never something to be shared. So, to me, your ability to share like this is nothing short of monumental. These types of posts always make me extremely happy and extremely tearful at the same time. (Happy because Susan perked up by the end of the post, and the tearful is obvious). My heart and prayers go out to all of you.
Oh, and Fatty, shaving cream? Seriously dude, I hope you’re not shaving with plain old soap.
Comment by Paula Kirsch | 09.1.2008 | 6:37 am
Stay strong you two and please KNOW that there are many, many hearts out there feeling love for you and praying for you.
str
Comment by Nix | 09.1.2008 | 7:41 am
Oops, hectic, very hectic.
BIG, VERY BIG HUG
That’s all I can do and that sucks.
Nix
Comment by 331miles | 09.1.2008 | 7:52 am
Thank you for sharing. Like others, I’m glad you put the ending first.
As far as the tiles go — you will have a hard time driling ceramic tile with a ‘masonry’ bit. Masonry bits are for masonry — bricks, mortar, and cement. You need a tile bit for ceramic tile, as it’s MUCH harder. The bit looks like a spade on the end, or an arrowhead. Depending on your tile, if you use a masonry bit, you’ll just never get through it.
I have a feeling you’ll get lots of manly advice on this. Maybe Bry is the final say on this!
Comment by Charlie | 09.1.2008 | 7:58 am
Dig deep Susan!
Comment by Eric | 09.1.2008 | 8:37 am
You can find porcelain drill bits at Lowes and Home Depot. My dad had me “help” (as in do the work while he watched) put in several towel rings, etc in a fully tiled bathroom.
As long as you spin the drill slowly it cuts cleanly through the tile with no problem. Just make sure you use the correct mounting hardware. Either nice wood screws directly into the studs (if you know where they are) or good toggle bolts to firmly mount it.
Glad to hear that everything turned out well!
Win Susan
Comment by Bitter (I'm a girl) | 09.1.2008 | 8:59 am
Having watched my little sister battle liver cancer for two years then quietly pass away (three years ago). It is very difficult for me to read these posts.
Difficult, because it stirs up all the old feelings I had/have for my sister. Difficult, because I have no hope when it comes to cancer. Difficult, because I don’t know what to say and lack the words to express what I feel.
I am here for you like the other loyal hundreds that read your blog, and have come to love your family, especially Susan.
And although I’m not like some of the others who have vast energy to cheer on and uplift along the way, I’m here for you, at the other end of a luminous LCD screen, in a hushed sort of way.
The kind that doesn’t speak but waits. The sort that sits by your side, ebbing quiet strength as the world swirls around you. Supports you as best they know how, by simply being there.
What I hope that you can find, is the place deep inside you. The place at rest. Of peace. It feels solid, and strong.
A place detached from the constant pull of everyday distractions. Where you can step-back, identify, and appreciate the really important things in life (interactions with loved ones).
The place where the harsh edges of pain, hurt, and anger are brushed away and love, peace, and acceptance overwhelm. Resolve can be found here. And so can an all-encompassing restful peace.
A couple thousand miles separate us, but I’m here for you and your family. In the only way I can, as a quiet gentle source of strength. I only hope that internet cables transfer my support as easily as if I were sitting by your family’s side.
Comment by Jeff&Jenn | 09.1.2008 | 9:35 am
We’re so glad that Susan is doing better. We’re sending prayers out every day for you and Susan. We read your blog every day to see if there is word of how Susan is doing. Love you guys! Please call us if there is anything we can do.
Comment by LuckyLab | 09.1.2008 | 9:54 am
I’m going to throw my 2 pennies in and recommend you find a stud in the wall (like I hope you did in the WC before mounting the handrail) above the tile. Find center and use a level or plumb line to find where the stud is behind the tile. Drill there following all the other tips and use a screw that will get into the stud. It’s going to be a touch more sturdy.
Comment by Lucky Cyclist | 09.1.2008 | 10:45 am
This will sound scabby(blue collar worker talk for cheap and trashy) but, If your only going to anchor into the tile you’d be a little easier off to epoxy or even Gorilla Glue the base of the rail. It will stay on as long as the tile does. If your really looking for strength though finding a stud is the best way.
Comment by Lifesgreat | 09.1.2008 | 10:46 am
Fatty,
I am SO glad you were wrong.
Win Susan!
Comment by Anonymous | 09.1.2008 | 10:47 am
Thank God you were wrong. I’m praying for you all, right now.
Comment by Pinkbike | 09.1.2008 | 10:55 am
Dearest Fatty and Susan,
Please don’t lose hope. It’s what will keep you going. God is with you every step of the way, as is the love and positive vibes of all your friends out here!
We’re so glad Susan’s doing so much better and the Decadron did the trick. Good luck with the drilling project!
With tons of love,
Sue and Tom in Pasadena
PS did a nice tumble down a hill off my bike yesterday and came up laughing with my favorite pink jersey unharmed. Win Susan!
Comment by Clydesdale | 09.1.2008 | 11:00 am
Glad you were wrong.
We continue to be optimistic for you even if the fear makes you less so.
235
WIN SUSAN!
WIN LEONA!
Comment by Dutch Girlie On a Bike | 09.1.2008 | 11:19 am
Hey Elden. Does Susan have a seat in the shower? While my mom doesn’t have cancer she does have the same problem of numbness in her feet due to neuropathy. One of her small pleasures is being able to sit on a chair in the shower w/o fear of falling down. Her seat is portable but you can get some that can be permanently installed on the wall (flaps up and down so others can stand in the shower).
Keep on keepin’ on……
Comment by Clydesteve | 09.1.2008 | 11:49 am
My heart skipped a beat when I saw the title. Thanks for being upfront, Fatty.
Don’t be afraid to ask for prayer by email, even when you do not have time or inclination to explain.
2:01 WIN! Susan
Comment by Kerbouchaud | 09.1.2008 | 11:51 am
Thanks be to God for the healing that will take place, and praise and glory to God for the healing that has taken place so far.
Enjoy a quick read of Psalms 139, Nice boost for the soul.
Comment by mamafitz | 09.1.2008 | 11:58 am
Thinking about you guys…and wondering how your kids are managing?
Prayers and good Mom energy coming your way :)
Beth
Comment by KanyonKris | 09.1.2008 | 2:01 pm
We’ve been thinking about seeing a movie today, but reading your post gave me enough drama – but serious and real drama – radically more potent. I can only vaguely imagine the emotional roller coaster you and Susan and your kids are on. Hang tough – what else can you do?
I have tile drill bits. I’m sure Bry is a much better handyman, but if you need me just call.
Comment by Richard | 09.1.2008 | 2:15 pm
WIN SUSAN!
Comment by Justin | 09.1.2008 | 2:19 pm
Others have spoken up but:
- A good drill (corded, not cordless)
- Porcelain/Masonry bit. Tell the Home depot guys what you are doing, they’ll help.
- Silicone sealant is very, very important. make sure you goop up some underneath where the rail contacts the tile, and then all around it after it’s on.
good luck.
Comment by Louie | 09.1.2008 | 2:27 pm
Fatty,
I hope for nothing but the best for you and susan.
also, exemplify that handimanitude by leveling out that TP dispenser, nothing throws a deuce out of whack like tp rolling off in a downhill direction.
Comment by Rob Churchill | 09.1.2008 | 2:41 pm
Very frightening for you – glad the problem resolved with Decadron.
My top tip for tile drilling – check you haven’t left the drill set to ‘hammer’. twice.
WIN SUSAN!
Comment by Rob Churchill | 09.1.2008 | 2:42 pm
Very frightening for you – glad the problem resolved with Decadron.
My top tip for tile drilling – check you haven’t left the drill set to ‘hammer’. twice.
WIN SUSAN!
Comment by JEnn | 09.1.2008 | 2:48 pm
what a relief that it was the weaning off the drugs. how scary for you, susan and the children. thoughts are with you constantly.
WIN SUSAN!
Comment by Uphill Battle | 09.1.2008 | 3:00 pm
Continued prayers for comfort, courage, and peace. Praying that God will be with you in a special way in the days and months ahead. Just remember to take it one day at a time…enjoy the good times and try not to let the fears of what tomorrow will bring mar the good day you are having today. With hope for many more good days!
“So never worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34
Comment by BEEF | 09.1.2008 | 3:01 pm
WOw…..
5 minutes reading and every emotion possible…..
How you guys kep yourselves going is amazing!
WIN WIN WIN
Comment by The Incredible Woody | 09.1.2008 | 3:58 pm
I cannot imagine the panic, the sheer gut-wrenching panic, that you must have felt. Your family is constantly in my thoughts and prayers.
PS – After reading about your great circle of friends, I am sure that any and all of them would be at your side in an instant. Next time, call!! You probably won’t have to say anything beyond “I need…” and someone would be there.
Comment by Bjorn 4Lycra | 09.1.2008 | 4:57 pm
Welcome back Susan – Stay strong Team FC.
Some great handyman tips on here but I must say as someone who is at one and at peace with his low levels of handimanitude get Bry to do it or Kanyon Kris and with the time saved as no doubt they will do it quicker you can all go for a ride afterwards.
Win Susan.
PS believe it or not we have got the same tiles in our ensuite.
Comment by ceecee | 09.1.2008 | 5:36 pm
I check in with y’all almost every day. I seldom leave a comment, as I am not a bike rider. I found you through Pioneer Woman. Just wanted to let you know y’all are in my heart and prayers.
Comment by KatieA978 | 09.1.2008 | 5:44 pm
Sending much love Susan’s (and your’s and the kid’s and the rest of the family’s) way.
Comment by NW | 09.1.2008 | 7:08 pm
My heart also skipped a beat when I saw the title “Terrified”.
I am so glad Susan got her mobility back the next day.
Thinking of you all.
WIN SUSAN!
Comment by Mark | 09.1.2008 | 7:25 pm
Phew, thanks for diffusing that in advance. Sounds like you had a thoroughly horrible scare! It’s completely understandable that you worry about the worst possible outcome, even though you want the best. I’m glad things improved so quickly; hopefully you’ve identified another “trick” in managing the medication and can avoid this happening again in future. You’re both incredibly tough though – it sounds like you managed incredibly well, in difficult circumstances.
Comment by Don | 09.1.2008 | 7:43 pm
Thinking `bout you guys and Praying for you… ALL of you, especially Susan!
WIN!
Don
Comment by Pat | 09.1.2008 | 7:51 pm
I have been reading your blog for months. I am a former palliative care nurse. You are doing an awesome job caring for Susan. Please consider having a home assessment done to have all the gadgets available to provide everyone with a safe environment. It’s also great to have someone to share the rollercoaster journey with. I have been there with a family member. It was hard to admit I’d needed outside help but it did help when the time was right.
Keep up the fight.
Comment by Cristy | 09.1.2008 | 7:52 pm
Hugs and prayers are coming your way. Hang in there – I can’t begin to imagine how scary this must be.
Comment by Jaime O. | 09.1.2008 | 7:57 pm
The spartan shower comment nearly made me laugh…but one of those weak laughs like when you realize your baby is just sleeping, not dead like your sleep deprived brain convinced you for 6 seconds. Hugs, good thoughts, prayers and peace you to all (with some worried tears thrown in for good measure).
Comment by leroy | 09.1.2008 | 7:59 pm
After what you and Susan have been through, of course you expect the worst.
I’m like that too and haven’t been through half of what you have.
For me though, some of that pessimism is hereditary.
My father, the pessimist, can no longer put off open heart surgery. He justified the delay by convincing himself that he could not possibly survive the operation even though the odds are very much in his favor.
I’ve told him (and myself) that it’s okay to be pessimistic — as long as you also apply that pessimism when evaluating your ability to predict the future.
My thoughts and hopes are with you.
WIN!
Comment by KT | 09.1.2008 | 8:08 pm
Thanks, Bitter, for saying what I wanted to.
Fatty, you’re doing good.
Susan, hang in there!!
WIN!!!!!
Comment by marty | 09.1.2008 | 8:12 pm
Fatty
I am crying now, because your words are exactly the same emotions I felt when my husband was battling a brain tumor last year. You can’t say the words out loud because the reality of hearing them was too much to bear. But our church family and lots of family and friends told us from the day of diagnosis that it is ok to depend on others when even praying is too hard, they would be there to do it for us.
Sometimes our prayers are for healing and that prayer includes the ultimate healing–new body in heaven, even though that is not what we really want. Peace and healing are what I am praying for you and your family.
I have a 23 year old son and a 10 year old daughter. Your life is similar to ours. Please know that there are others that are here for you that have been where you are.
Even being a girl, I learned to install the same things you are doing, with my husband teaching silently, he lost speech, but never the ability to think, so if I can you can. Nothing seems too hard if you are doing it for someone you love.
Experience with the decadron is, it is miracle drug and evil drug, makes a dramatic difference in ability, but the swelling outside and mood changes are tough. Please remember that others are supporting you even when you can’t speak the words.
Marty
Comment by Walter | 09.1.2008 | 8:43 pm
Fatty & Susan,
Glad this “episode” ended well… thinking of you and sending prayers & vibes…
Best,
Walter
Comment by Tangerine9 | 09.1.2008 | 10:38 pm
Hugs to you and Susan and kids from Minnesota. I’m not a nurse but work with a lot of them (programmer in health care) – I second the motion above to have a home assessment. They will identify things to make Susan more comfortable and safe, things that you would never have thought of, but will make a difference.
Comment by Anne | 09.1.2008 | 10:45 pm
I loved Bitter’s thoughts. Sometimes the very best thing a person can do is be beside you without feeling it necessary to say anything. I’m sure there are folks around you who can do that for you. Please don’t be afraid to ask for that; God never intended for us to be separated from those we love and He provides others to be there when we need them. My prayers are being sent up for you, the kids and especially your courageous Susan.
Comment by victoria | 09.1.2008 | 11:30 pm
Bitter said it well.
Nothing more to add– just a lot of heartfelt, silent support sent your way.
Comment by Glenda | 09.1.2008 | 11:45 pm
As always, my thoughts are with you and your family! I still hope wearing my FCT in the SLC airport would send good vibes to the Nelson household!
Many are with YOU!
WIN NELSON FAMILY!!
Comment by Co | 09.2.2008 | 12:11 am
yes, thank you for making the bottom line the top line. no-one needs suspense in these situations. I was lucky that my Dad’s cancer came when us kids were adults (albeit barely). I thank God that your kids will have you (and you them) should any surprise turn out less fortunate than this time. And I still say all good things are possible with God.
on the tiles – make sure you have a replacement tile. pros can cut out a complete tile at the grouting and stick in a new one if you mess up. voice of experience. :-)
Comment by Christine Havens | 09.2.2008 | 12:21 am
Much love and many prayers from northern California. Putting up support bars and hand held showerheads for Susan were tender acts of love and it warmed my heart to read about them. Thank you. WIN!
Comment by buckythedonkey | 09.2.2008 | 4:53 am
Sorry mate, I am completely out of diversionary tiling tips.
I am delighted that you were wrong, and we’re sending you all love and hugs from London.
WIN SUSAN!
Comment by McBain_v1 | 09.2.2008 | 5:13 am
Fatty, any problems that involve the health of loved ones are terrifying. When my little lad went into hospital he was only 5-days old (he had blood poisoning) and it was horrific; I felt utterly useless. However, it seems that you are handling things really well by channeling your worry into helpful improvements around the house. Of course, when Susan gets well again she will continue to expect such improvements on a regular basis!
God Bless you both.
Comment by Trail Dog | 09.2.2008 | 6:08 am
Glad to hear everything turned out ok. Gotta tell you my heart sunk when I saw the post.
Keep fighting
Trail Dog
Comment by Yukirin Boy | 09.2.2008 | 7:20 am
I am delighted to hear that Susan overcame your latest hurdle.
Best wishes to you both
Comment by Catri | 09.2.2008 | 7:21 am
Fatty, I’ve been gone for a few days and just got back last night- one of the first things I did when I got online (besides deleting “Forward this or something horrible will happen” emails sent to me by my wacky mother in law) was read your latest post, and I have to admit this tough girl cracked. I’m so glad that Susan is doing better back on the Decadron. I am continually amazed by her strength and by yours, Fatty, as well as that of your beautiful children. You’re all in my thoughts and prayers.
Win, Susan.
Comment by Pammap | 09.2.2008 | 7:24 am
Thank you so much for writing the end of the story first. My thoughts and prayers remain with you and Susan and the kids. 2:01
Comment by Carolyn | 09.2.2008 | 8:52 am
Damn. I wish I was closer. I have a drill bit for those shower tiles.
Praying for you.
Comment by ann | 09.2.2008 | 8:57 am
praying
Comment by Brokemba | 09.2.2008 | 9:02 am
Much love to you and your family. You are a strong guy not to be a blubbering mess throughout like I would be…
I’m going to donate more to LAF when I get paid this week. Is MikeRoadie’s site still active or should I go through someone else we know?
Comment by Darby Shaw | 09.2.2008 | 10:20 am
Fatty,
A Dremel tool if you have one will let you drill a nice clean hole thru the tile. You just need the right attachement.
WIN Susan.
Comment by Grump | 09.2.2008 | 11:15 am
I’m sure that you already have a shower bench, but if you have a tub shower, do you have the type of bench that sits inside, and outside the shower? It makes it easy to slide into the shower without having to stand and lift your leg over the tub. It doesn’t work with a shower door too well, but works well with a shower curtain.
PS. It’s often better to leave the hand held shower thingy on the floor of the shower, so that’s it’s easier to reach.
PSS. Hand rails must be put into studs.
Keep hanging in there.
Comment by Gillian | 09.2.2008 | 11:15 am
WIN SUSAN.
You have (practically) the whole world behind you.
Comment by Blorgh | 09.2.2008 | 11:33 am
WIN Susan! So glad you made it past the scare. My thoughts are with you
Comment by EH | 09.2.2008 | 11:37 am
I’m so glad that she is feeling better!
Comment by michele | 09.2.2008 | 11:46 am
I have a friend who is fighting a rare form of cancer that continues to challenge her daily life. It is amazing the strength these people have and what we learn from them. I think of Susan and your family often, even though I only know you through this blog. You are all in my prayers.
Stay strong. WIN SUSAN!
Comment by Anonymous | 09.2.2008 | 11:58 am
I love it when wrong is right.
WIN SUSAN!!!
Comment by Lisa B | 09.2.2008 | 12:08 pm
You, Susan and the kids are all in our hearts and our thoughts. Thank you for continuing to share your life with us – the good and the bad. As Susan told that counselor months ago, you don’t need to talk it out, you write it out. Keep using us as your therapy, Elden, we’re all happy to listen and send strengthening vibes your way.
Comment by Ann-Marie | 09.2.2008 | 12:14 pm
My heart was racing and I could feel your panic at the start of the post. I’m glade she is back on the up swing. Thank you for sharing so much, prayers.
Comment by Mel | 09.2.2008 | 12:45 pm
being wrong has never been better… i understand your tendency to think the worse. I do the same.
glad it turned out ok, keeping you and your family in my thoughts :)
Comment by Justin | 09.2.2008 | 1:23 pm
Without going into detail, your post brought back a lot of memories, some of them even good.
The strength your family shows is inspiring. I wish you all the best.
To Susan: Go, Fight, Win.
Comment by Selene | 09.2.2008 | 1:28 pm
Hey there, I thought you would like to know that I thought of Susan and you and your courage a lot this weekend. I wrote about it here: http://fitchick.bicycling.com/2008/09/aloha.html
Comment by Eloise | 09.2.2008 | 2:22 pm
Oh, Fatty, I’m so sorry that you went through all of that last week. I’m glad Susan is doing better today. The pictures of the modifications you installed in your bathroom were heartwarming. Your love for Susan shines through this blog in so many ways.
Win, Susan!
Comment by AllisonW | 09.2.2008 | 3:18 pm
Wow Fatty I got such a fright when I saw the title – don’t do that again!! I’ll go back to never posting and just reading, but meanwhile – so as you know – there’s yet another person out here who thinks of you all, especially of Susan and your kids. There must be zillions of us – and we are all here with you.
Allison.
Cambridge, UK.
Comment by Barb | 09.2.2008 | 8:13 pm
I agree with the palliative care nurse who suggested a home assesment. If your family hasn’t been refered to palliative care through your oncologist, you might consider bringing it up. It isn’t hospice, it’s a step back from that, but they can help with so many ideas about making Susan’s (and yours and the kids) life easier on both a physical and mental level.
Comment by Undomestic | 09.2.2008 | 9:26 pm
Dear Lord I come to you tonight praying for Susan, for her health, her peace and her healing. May her family have such amazing strength during this time and learn to lean on You for almighty things.
Obviously thinking about and praying for you and your family. WIN SUSAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comment by RGR | 09.3.2008 | 7:44 am
WIN SUSAN
!!!
Comment by Heatherann | 09.3.2008 | 2:36 pm
I’m glad to hear you were wrong this time. WIN SUSAN!!! But your concern is totally understandable and warranted. You have my prayers that your miracle will come just as quickly!
Comment by judi | 09.3.2008 | 5:29 pm
Still hoping and praying for Susan and you and your beautiful family. So glad she snapped back Elden.
WIN SUSAN!
Comment by njmtb@NJ Mountain Bike Trails | 09.4.2008 | 2:27 pm
Fatty-
I have felt your ups and downs as I follow your posts. I have prayed for Susan, you and your family and share in your fight and hope.
WIN SUSAN!
Comment by Brian | 09.6.2008 | 4:29 am
Fatty,
+1 on the home assessment – lots of options that might help make a tough situation a wee bit easier on you and on Susan. We found that with my father – the little things made a difference. Every little bit helps.
Keep positive.