Footon-Servetto Reveals Its 2011 Team Kit
A Note from Fatty: The 2011 Fat Cyclist Gear pre-order is going strong, but ends this Monday. Read here for details, and click here to order from Twin Six.
CANTABRIA (Fat Cyclist Fake News Service) – Reacting to a growing tide of feedback regarding its Team Kit, Team Footon-Servetto today has revealed its 2011 Team kit.
“We are of course extraordinarily pleased with the extraordinary — and frankly, unexpected — success of Team Footon-Servetto in the Tour de France,” said Team General Manager Mauro Gianetti in a post-stage press conference. “And want to assure the public that we are taking their concerns to heart with the 2011 Footon-Servetto kit.”
For contextual purposes, the 2010 Footon-Servetto kit is a distinct caucasian flesh color, with a black footprint on the front, as shown below:
(Riders David Vitoria and Noe Gianetti pose with Mauro Gianetti. Source: CyclingNews)
Unfortunately, the footprint is recognizable as such only when the a cyclist is standing and facing you. Which — considering that most spectators see most riders from the side and back, or possibly a front view of the cyclist is hunched over his bike — is essentially never.
To illustrate, the Footon-Servetto kit usually looks like this:
Or this:
(Source for above 2 images: Footon-Servetto team site)
The effect of this design, according to pretty much everyone, is that in the 2010 kit, the Footon-Servetto riders look like they are essentially nude, with holstein cow markings or tattoos.
The spectator reaction is typified by Steve Blanstrom, an American spectator at this year’s Tour de France, who remarked during an early stage as a Footon-Servetto rider went by, “Martha [Steve's wife], avert your eyes! There’s some weird naked human / cow hybrid thingamajig approaching! It’s horrible! Martha! I said avert your eyes!“
Listening to Concerns
Said Sabino Angoitia, Team Director for Footon-Servetto, “Naturally, when we became aware of people’s discomfort with the current Team Kit design, we went back to the drawing board. And I — along with the rest of the team — am pleased to announce that we have arrived at the new, preliminary design for our 2011 kit (shown below).”
“We felt,” said Gianetti, “that the naked human flesh look, integrated with the seemingly random black spots on the jersey, was too confusing.”
“As you can see now,” injected Angoitia, “That problem has clearly been rectified to our satisfaction. Thanks to our new graphic treatment, there is now no longer any question about the skin color on the front. It is 72% fleshier than before, without the distraction of black splotches.”
“Meanwhile,” continued GM Gianetti, “The back of the jersey now quite clearly shows the distinctive spots of a cow.”
“Naked man from the front, holstein cow from the back,” enthused Angoitia. “Absolutely no way you can be confused by the imagery now.”
“Problem solved,” said Gianetti, and then concluded by saying, “By the way, we’re pronounced ‘foot on,’ not ‘futon.’ Although we welcome inquiries from futon manufacturers interested in cosponsoring a pro team.”
The team then went on to demonstrate the new design for the official team bib shorts, which were immediately awarded the distinction of being the first ever shorts to be rated NC-17.
Comment by SuomiTri | 07.15.2010 | 11:20 am
First?
Comment by Slugulous | 07.15.2010 | 11:23 am
Hmmm, I’m not sure that would go down too well if Footon had a women’s team.
And team Milram called, they want their design back.
Comment by KanyonKris | 07.15.2010 | 11:26 am
So glad you didn’t mock up the shorts.
Comment by Dan in Sac | 07.15.2010 | 11:36 am
Is Foot On a sister company to Head On?
Had a puncture on my ride into work today. Good thing I had my ROAD ID to call AAA to replace my 700cc and have me on the way. Cost me 20 mins of time though. Thanks Levi/Bobke (aka “Bob Key” by Hummer).
Comment by pra4sno | 07.15.2010 | 12:01 pm
no doubt one of the worst team kits ever.
Comment by Jeff | 07.15.2010 | 12:13 pm
How do you pre-order?
I can’t wait to be the first on my block to ride around looking like Kenny with his shirt off!
Comment by JAT in Seattle | 07.15.2010 | 12:25 pm
Will they ride with Kenny-Shaved-Head flesh-tone helmets as well?
Comment by mateo | 07.15.2010 | 12:35 pm
When Gianetti was building his team and realized that no one would recognize any of thier riders as FootOn has no “names” riding for them…do you think he said, “the only way we get press is to have the ugliest kit ever created” and, viola! More press regarding the kit than any other teams’ and, as the PR adage goes: no press is bad press. Ride on naked cows!
Comment by mateo | 07.15.2010 | 12:38 pm
BTW SuomiTri (and others who participate in this trend), to claim “First” or “podium” on comments on a blog is to say “I’m a douche”. Just stop this practice, its pathetic and annoying, you didn’t win anything, there’s no bouquet, not podium girls…just stop it!
Comment by LidsB2 | 07.15.2010 | 12:46 pm
This reminds me of one of those thrifty cyclists that takes his shorts a little past their useful life. The faint silouette of cheeks shining through the threadbare lycra is more than anyone should have to tolerate (insert shudder of disgust here).
Comment by Clydesteve | 07.15.2010 | 12:46 pm
First… (just kidding) I would like to say: “What Mateo said” We don’t do First! here.
I don’t think the shorts even need “improvement” – They already look like a Ken doll (not Kenny) from the front.
Comment by roan | 07.15.2010 | 12:54 pm
Fatty FN Service, I hoped to see the redesigned bibs too. The bib design with the Footon print on each thigh and the new sponsor logo, WhamO Hacky-Sack in the middle. The women’s version is utterly mooo-ing too, but no Hacky-Sack, no bull. At least the back of the jersey is very moooo-on.
Comment by skippy | 07.15.2010 | 1:05 pm
No reply from President Sarkozy just yet, perhaps Carla is out buying an outfit to wear with the ¨livestrong bracelet¨i promised to give when we meet!
Hitched ride mentioned in yesterdays entry led to me staying in Die tonight: Already met local Paralympic skier and enjoyed reminising about 2006 Torino and the common acquaintainces.
Turkey who exercised his ¨powers¨as a gendarme has done me a huge favour and given me a taste of life in France with some new friends!
Wish he could read this, so he will know why Prudhomme wants hid ass!
Comment by Steve | 07.15.2010 | 1:33 pm
Not as cool as the Euskatel – Euskadi “plumber’s butt” illusion…
Comment by Mikeonhisbike | 07.15.2010 | 2:23 pm
By the way, Ted Nugent just called and he wants his jersey back. Excuse me but I need to go wash my eyes out. Thanks.
Comment by skippy | 07.15.2010 | 2:37 pm
Wearing out my Monaco uniform as i ride with ¨day pack for 13th TDF although the blue Viva gets an outing or three:
No reply from President Sarkozy just yet, perhaps Carla is out buying an outfit to wear with the ¨livestrong bracelet¨i promised to give when we meet!
Hitched ride mentioned in yesterdays comment entry led to me staying in Die tonight: Already met local Paralympic skier and enjoyed reminising about 2006 Torino and the common acquaintainces.
Turkey¨¨ who exercised his ¨powers¨as a gendarme has done me a huge favour and given me a taste of life in France with some new friends!
Wish he could read this comment, so he will know why Prudhomme wants his sorry ass!
Meeting a lot of people out of USA who enjoy ¨fatty blog, most ¨Livestrong band wearers. Suggested to Lance thursday in Rotterdam that the team carry the ¨bracelets¨in back pocket so they can pass out a few as they go to sign on, would have been great to see a few fly through the air as Radio Shack crossed the finish line! Another first for a great team of guys!
Not sure what ¨horny¨is doing but Sunday he was in no mood for a chat ahnd Lance was ¨smoke as he exited the car at hotel, impersonating Houdini, now you see him, now you dont! J.B. spent a long time looking at the tyres that caused mayhem on that stage, wouldn t like to be responsible for the glue!
Early start for the route tomorrow from Die so no double entendre will be read for a week, but hope weather eases so can enjoy the ride.
Comment by Rokrider | 07.15.2010 | 2:45 pm
Why are only the first and third toes connected to the foot? Does this have something to do with using clipless pedals?
Comment by Steve | 07.15.2010 | 3:35 pm
@global_explorer just tweeted the link to your news about the new team jerseys and the NC-17 shorts. It should be headlines in L’Equipe by tomorrow morning. I think it was a good move on Footon-Servello’s part to improve on an already good thing!
I always check first with Fatty for all the news that’s fit to print! Thanks!
I.M. Gullible
Comment by DBerger | 07.15.2010 | 6:00 pm
So Funny!
Comment by zeeeter | 07.15.2010 | 6:57 pm
Can I have some of what you are taking to come up with these ideas? Too funny!
Comment by D | 07.15.2010 | 7:17 pm
I think the should change the sponsor name to poot on.
Comment by TimRides | 07.15.2010 | 9:47 pm
The FFNS has come through again. Busted out laughing on the last paragraph!
Comment by Dr Bryce | 07.15.2010 | 11:05 pm
Commando? Anyone?
Comment by Accident Prone | 07.15.2010 | 11:06 pm
Sweet. Was wondering if you’d get a poke in at these. Not disappointed.
Comment by She | 07.16.2010 | 6:43 am
Thank god Im not the only one horrified by those things. What the heck were they thinking?
Comment by Noosk | 07.16.2010 | 7:05 am
I think I too would be hiding behind the bike (first pic) if I was forced to wear something like that. horrific – I keep thinking there are streakers in the tdf when I catch a glimpse!
Comment by Barbara | 07.16.2010 | 8:32 am
How about one of those little weenies that Cervelo has on their shorts?
Comment by Letli | 07.16.2010 | 10:25 am
I’d like to nominate myself as the youngest (28) -or possibly only- person to get the Ray Stevens reference.
Comment by ProdigalCyclist | 07.16.2010 | 10:28 am
Loving the saddle angle on the David Vitoria and Noe Gianetti photo. Who gets to ride that special setup?
Comment by SuomiTri | 07.16.2010 | 12:50 pm
@mateo
ur just jealous. better luck next time.
Comment by MOCougFan | 07.16.2010 | 3:06 pm
I’m pretty sure Kenny will never take his shirt off in front of you again. Can’t even count the number of times you have used that against him.
Awesome!
Comment by Katie | 07.20.2010 | 2:47 pm
AG2R should be relieved there’s a kit in the peloton that actually makes its brown and blue kit look good…
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