Two Observations
Yesterday afternoon, while riding to Cedar For and back — a 44-mile road ride that comes as close to a flat course as can be found in Alpine, UT (only around 1500 feet of climbing) — I had two observations, one of which has a followup observation.
I submit them both for your consideration.
Observation 1
Like most important and deep truths, the observation I made during this ride is succinct:
If you’re going to talk with someone during a road ride into a strong headwind, whatever you have to say had better be worth repeating. Loudly. And at least three times.
Hey, that’s so short I very nearly could have tweeted it.
Observation 2
As you might have guessed from observation 1 above, yesterday’s ride had a pretty significant headwind — except when it was a crosswind, and except when it was a tailwind. And the wind kept changing.
It was a very mischievous wind.
Anyway, one of the characteristics of The Runner is that she doesn’t like drafting. She feels it reduces the effort of the ride too much, and since getting in a good workout is one of the reasons you’re out there, why draft?
Frankly, I’m boggled by this line of reasoning, but that’s not the observation I want to make.
I, unlike The Runner, am perfectly happy to draft. In fact, I love drafting. And so, while tucked behind The Runner as she toiled away against a stiff headwind, I made the following observation:
If you’re a guy, there’s something really, really awesome about drafting behind a very hot woman.
I don’t think I need to explain my reasoning on this observation, for I consider it self-evident. However, as soon as I made this observation, I had a followup observation.
Followup Observation to Observation 2
Even as I reveled in my good fortune, something nagged at me. Then, as a cyclist going the other direction gave us a “I’d wave but the wind has crushed my soul and drained all my energy” nod, I realized what that nagging thing is. Which is the following:
While it’s awesome to be drafting behind a really hot woman, the macho part of me hopes that none of my friends see that I haven’t been taking a turn pulling.
Comment by Scott | 04.7.2011 | 8:53 am
Best post ever from Fatty?
Comment by Alan | 04.7.2011 | 8:55 am
I agree with all of this.
Comment by davidh-marin,ca | 04.7.2011 | 9:01 am
Fatty,
While I agree with the observation… If you happen to be drafting a hot woman other than your own wife, you run the risk of a Jimmy Carter moment.
Comment by DP | 04.7.2011 | 9:11 am
Absolutely the best observation…
Comment by NYCCarlos | 04.7.2011 | 9:16 am
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA… amazing.
Comment by Mary | 04.7.2011 | 9:28 am
So funny. My husband rides behind me, too. Mostly so he doesn’t drop me but also because he says he loves the view. Trust me, it does amazing things for the self-esteem when your husband thinks you look totally hot in spandex.
Comment by Laura S | 04.7.2011 | 9:42 am
So that’s why my husband won’t take a pull!
Comment by bikemike | 04.7.2011 | 9:42 am
if they aren’t riding with you , then they can’t possibly know you’re never taking a pull, unless, they were informed, mysteriously, somehow. boy, i hope someone with a high profile blog doesn’t post this damaging bit of information.
Comment by did | 04.7.2011 | 9:44 am
Just tell the truth – that you got caught up staring at her butt, and forgot to take your pulls.
Comment by illbu2 | 04.7.2011 | 9:47 am
So much for that secret, thanks Fatty!
Comment by Ken | 04.7.2011 | 9:52 am
This is also complicated by the fact that a woman is ten times hotter when she is on a bike.
Comment by roan | 04.7.2011 | 10:06 am
Nice, but you know that, heh?
My problem(s) most women are too slow and maybe it is too obvious when the rim squeals that I’m braking. This is a dead give away and her head turns and the piercing eyes causes me to respond “Er…passing on your left”. The few really fast women are gone without even a “Passing” as if I were some sort of road kill(shoulda taken that shower before the ride).
Comment by centurion | 04.7.2011 | 10:09 am
Her: “HEY, get up here and take your turn!”
Me: “huh? what? Oh yeah, yeah, OK”
H: “Stop sitting back there looking at my ass”
M: “ok, yeah, ok. huh? what? I wasnt…, ok”
Comment by Anthony | 04.7.2011 | 10:30 am
On the ‘workout’ issue: I don’t think grinding endlessly into the wind at 25 km/h is that much of a workout compared to taking turns at the front, burying yourself to try to keep the pace high, getting some recovery and then doing it again.
I do notice that women don’t road ride the same way as guys do though. They don’t seem as keen on the idea that you need to ramp the pace as high as you can, at all times, trying your best to ride everyone off your wheel while looking like you’re just out for a casual ride, sitting on the tops and breathing easily. Then, of course, attacking each other viciously on every hill. Those women sure are missing out. I have no idea why they don’t think that is awesome, good fun.
Comment by GJMAlcyon | 04.7.2011 | 10:33 am
While on a American Cancer Society charity ride a couple of years ago, I caught the last wheel of a 6 or 7-woman paceline, all gorgeous, and all in She-Beasts jerseys. The visuals from that vantage point were soul-stirring.
Then they noticed me, upped their cadence, and dropped me like I had a bell and a basket on my bike.
Sigh.
Comment by Cyclin' Missy | 04.7.2011 | 10:34 am
Mary – exact same situation here! Love it.
Comment by AngieG | 04.7.2011 | 11:16 am
Women feel the same way. There is nothing better than drafting behind a really hot guy. Even if your struggling to stay on his wheel. Makes the pain of staying very worth it. :-)
Comment by Daniel | 04.7.2011 | 11:17 am
My wife and I used to ride together quite a bit. My do I miss those days. Hopefully someday again soon. On a tandem. I’ll ride stoker. :)
Comment by Angie | 04.7.2011 | 11:23 am
It always astounds me that men even think about how a woman looks while biking. I feel sporty and tomboyish when I ride, not pretty or sexy. When you ride a mt bike, you get dirty, muddy, wet, and sweaty. You have that “biking” smell. I love it because I associate it with riding, but it makes me feel unattractive. When you ride a road bike, you get a film of dirt on your face, arms, and legs, plus you’re sweaty.
All I think about when riding is the trail or the road in front of me, catching or keeping up with other riders, competing with them (even if they don’t know they’re competing), and how fun it is to be riding. An attractive guy who rides, is simply someone to compare myself to in the grand scheme of biking hierarchy. If I can beat a guy, I think “ha!” even though I’m nice to him. When he tells me I’m fast, I feel proud of myself. If the guy can beat me, I accept it, and gauge my improvement by seeing how soon he drops me the next time I ride with him.
Comment by GJ Jackie | 04.7.2011 | 11:24 am
Fortunately for me, my husband doesn’t like pace-lines either. So I get to look at his awesome rear view and enjoy drafting. Works great for us both!
Comment by Jim | 04.7.2011 | 11:28 am
“getting in a good workout is one of the reasons you’re out there, why draft?”
That’s why all the truly fit cyclist ride heavy steel frames with big balloon tires.
Comment by Scott R | 04.7.2011 | 11:45 am
There is much truth in today’s post and comments.
Comment by Mike Roadie | 04.7.2011 | 12:22 pm
FOO 2: Exactly!
Comment by Anonymous | 04.7.2011 | 1:04 pm
Fatty – this post is worthless without pictures.
Comment by Bryan (not that one) | 04.7.2011 | 1:42 pm
If a friend of mine didn’t take a turn pulling because he was admiring his hot wife from behind I would completely understand and head out for a ride with my wife.
Comment by aussie kev | 04.7.2011 | 3:39 pm
new inner pocket text for 2012 jerseys
“If you’re a guy, there’s something really, really awesome about drafting behind a very hot woman.”
i have lost races on the track due to this phenomenom !!!!!
Comment by Norman | 04.7.2011 | 8:28 pm
Yes, Fatty, he’s right. In internet parlance, “pics or it never happened”.
Comment by Fletch | 04.8.2011 | 5:16 am
Do you know that in England “Pulling” and “pull” mean something completely different? Makes for good reading!
Comment by Rob L | 04.8.2011 | 5:47 am
Nothing like observation 2 to keep you going when you’d rather slack off even more or quit.
Comment by bashzilla | 04.8.2011 | 5:54 am
I like Aussie Kev’s thought!
Riding behind a really hot woman IS awesome, but too often they aren’t big enough to provide much draft. This is known as NVND (Nice view, no draft) effect.
Comment by Patrick | 04.8.2011 | 7:46 am
So that’s why we cycle with our mouths open and tongues out sometimes? Perverts!
Comment by becky | 04.8.2011 | 9:19 am
If I remember correctly, pulling a pint is an actual phrase? I’d like a pint, although it is a little early in the day to start in on that.
Comment by Lockie | 04.8.2011 | 10:41 am
I was riding in a big group the other day, and among us there was a tandem being ridden by a…hefty…guy on the front, and a cute woman. While I can understand the attraction of having control of steering/gearing, he totally missed the opportunity to be behind a hot behind, and not have people question his strength on a bike!!
Comment by Clydesteve | 04.8.2011 | 11:05 am
“No, you go on – I’m riding sweep today” – Behind a hot behind.
Makes a lot of sense.
Comment by Jarrett | 04.8.2011 | 12:20 pm
+1 for the best post Fatty’s ever written.
Comment by Elisabethvi | 04.8.2011 | 12:34 pm
Fabulous post! Love it!
I hate windy rides.
I love drafting behind my husband! However, he usually wants me to lead the way.
I also love Anthony’s comment:
“I do notice that women don’t road ride the same way as guys do though. They don’t seem as keen on the idea that you need to ramp the pace as high as you can, at all times, trying your best to ride everyone off your wheel while looking like you’re just out for a casual ride, sitting on the tops and breathing easily. Then, of course, attacking each other viciously on every hill. Those women sure are missing out. I have no idea why they don’t think that is awesome, good fun.”
This is my perception of the group I ride with, which happens to be all men. Too funny, yet so true!
Comment by brett | 04.8.2011 | 2:50 pm
Hey Fatty … your observations ring true for both sexes in our household! ;-) Guilty as charged!
Comment by Flahute | 04.8.2011 | 6:22 pm
Ain’t nuthin’ wrong with getting chicked by a hot woman. Even better when it’s your wife.
I’ll sit in all day long (or at least as long as I can hang) without any shame whatsoever.
Comment by The Banter | 04.8.2011 | 6:40 pm
I tried that the other day, drafting behind a hot chick. Unfortunately, she wasn’t my spouse, just some random hottie. Neither she, nor my wife, were happy about this (I made the mistake of recanting the experience later). Still, it was worth it.
Comment by Kathleen@ForgingAhead | 04.8.2011 | 7:16 pm
The other benefit of a headwind is others can’t hear you cursing it under your breath.
Comment by eandjmum | 04.8.2011 | 8:10 pm
Dude… that’d make any ride worthwhile LOL! Except I’d be riding behind my hubby checking out his behind!!
Comment by Alibikerb | 04.8.2011 | 9:32 pm
I disagree entirely with Anthony’s post :
“I do notice that women don’t road ride the same way as guys do though. They don’t seem as keen on the idea that you need to ramp the pace as high as you can, at all times, trying your best to ride everyone off your wheel while looking like you’re just out for a casual ride, sitting on the tops and breathing easily. Then, of course, attacking each other viciously on every hill. Those women sure are missing out. I have no idea why they don’t think that is awesome, good fun.”
This is exactly how I ride and enjoy dropping as many men as I can on the way!!
You clearly have not ridden with the right woman yet!!
Comment by geekonabike | 04.9.2011 | 6:46 am
Right, she doesn’t draft because it more fun to pull :/
& I’m sure your butt is every bit as attractive as hers Fatty. She surly is missing a great opportunity for some ogling ;-)
Comment by Debi | 04.9.2011 | 4:45 pm
Yeah, as I got in to cycling after 50 and riding hills for the first time and realized that one of the perks of riding is checking out the cute male butts in their lycra shorts and tights, it doesn’t bother me how slow I am in comparison to others because the “view from behind” is great! ;-)
Comment by MrDaveyGie | 04.9.2011 | 9:09 pm
Good one. High V for the manhood. However, I think some of the ’scenery’ is now going to drop back for a pull. DANG!!!
Comment by VeloBusDriver | 04.10.2011 | 11:05 am
If you look hot in or out of the saddle you’re far less likely to be passed closely by cars or, frankly, passed at all. Just a thought…
Comment by Pete | 04.10.2011 | 5:37 pm
Fatty -
As I read your blog today I am grabbed by Observation 2 and the follow up observation. Observation 2 gets my attention because just recently my wife has decided she would like to start cycling with me. We have not gotten her a bike yet but just the thought of getting to follow from time to time my insanely hot wife makes me want to buy her an even nicer bike so she will be sure to love the sport and I will be sure to love the view.
Now with that being said, follow up observation comes into play as I may need to poit out that the awesome picture on the header of this great page depicts a woman climbing a hill with a man in trail. I would like to point out that this picture is my sister and I. And in no way do I feel like my masculinity is at stake by the few of this picture by hundreds of people. Intact this is one of my proudest moments caught on film. This was around mile 25 of my first century ride. One which has sparked a passion driving me to shoot for a goal of 3 century rides this year.
Thank you Fatty for the wonderful FaceTime on your website. I will enjoy it even from the back of the pack.
Comment by Darrell D | 04.15.2011 | 7:56 pm
Hey Fatty,
Hilarious!!! We went on a hilly, windy ride today and I have been feeling guilty because of my slow pace (although doing my best) I was holding my husband back. And now I don’t feel so guilty holding my husband back.