The Producer of Leverage Is Just As Excited As I Am For Me To Be On His Show
A Note From Fatty For People Who Forgot to Get Themselves a FatCyclist.com Jersey : Maybe you forgot to get in on the pre-order. Or maybe you’re new to the blog. Or maybe you weren’t thinking of flying the Team Fatty flag before, but now you are.
For whatever reason, you didn’t get yourself the heart-wrenchingly beautiful 2012 Fat Cyclist jersey.
Well, now’s your chance to fix that problem.
My good friends at Twin Six have just received a very limited number of Fat Cyclist jerseys, in both men’s and women’s sizes. With a 3/4 hidden zipper, the “WIN” slogan in pink on the back, and a classic look, this is definitely a jersey you should get. If you haven’t got one already, I mean.
A Note From Fatty About Today’s Post: Yesterday, I continued the conversation I’ve been having with Paul Guyot, Supervising Producer of the TV show Leverage. (My original post is here. His reply to that post is here.)
Today, I’m pleased to announce that Paul has already replied to me, with some terrific advice and useful tips that I plan to get around to reading (along with his other letter) while I’m on the plane to Portland.
But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t read it right now!
A Letter from Paul Guyot, Supervising Producer of Leverage
Attention, Mr. Nelson,
Once again, I appreciate the time and effort you’ve put forth in producing such a long-winded and unnecessarily in-depth letter. As before, let me stop everything I am doing right now, so I may address your latest set of concerns.
Regarding Your Hiring an Agent
I suggest you possibly wait until you have a more substantial role (or several) under your belt before worrying about a Hollywood agent.
Concerning Your “Stardom”
Yes, your stardom… while I understand your concern that such limitless fame may be distracting to the others on our show (the Oscar-winning movie star, the polarizing character from FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS, one of the most well-known British comedy actors, etc., etc.) I don’t think we can “step up” security anymore than already exists – which I assure you is more than adequate for your intergalactic notoriety.
Interaction With Actors
Um… yeah. Let’s go step by step here. Slowly… the actors most likely will have no reason, nor interest in making eye contact with you. Especially after I have a meeting with them the day before you arrive, which was not on my calendar, but certainly is now. As to approaching you, again, I am sure they will have no trouble restraining themselves during their 12-hour work day.
As to your personal assistant… unfortunately, I cannot provide you with a personal assistant. I was going to lend you a Garmin GPS for your rental car, but now that may be off the table. You will just have to deal with handling all things Elden on your own during your ONE day of work. We at Leverage apologize for any inconvenience.
As to not remembering the actors real names and/or calling them by their character names, I would suggest the best way to eliminate this potential problem is to simply not speak to them. At all. For any reason. Ever. Not once.
Concerns About Timothy Hutton
And now one of my favorites — your concern about hurting Timothy Hutton’s feelings. Yes. Let’s see… while the idea of you walking onto our set with your arms full of evidence of the vast array of awards you’ve won — and let’s not forget your site stats! — is quite intriguing to the dark, vengeful, laugh-when-someone-trips side of me, I would recommend against it. Our sets are filled with lights and cameras and actors and crew members and that leaves very little room for your awards and stats, especially considering the incredible volume of said awards and stats.
Thus, if you leave this cornucopia of acknowledgements at home, there should be no potential fallout from our Academy Award-winning actor’s feelings being hurt.
Privacy Requirements (I.e., You Wanting a Trailer)
Excuse me for a moment while I step out of my office for some air…………………………… okay, thank you. As to your request for a trailer larger than all our actors put together, I am unable to grant such a request without first sticking a gun in my mouth and blowing my front derailleur out the back of my cassette.
And let me take this opportunity to say thank you for accepting my generous offer to have you on the show with so much humbleness and sincerity.
Paul Guyot
Supervising Producer (at least for now) for Leverage
PS – do you happen to have Bike Snob NYC’s number?
Comment by GenghisKhan | 03.20.2012 | 7:21 am
Great response from PG! As to BSNYC’s number, isn’t it 867-5309? ( I forget the area code…)
Comment by Rich | 03.20.2012 | 7:34 am
I think that “intergalactic notoriety” would make for a good book title.
Comment by Mark | 03.20.2012 | 7:43 am
This has become tiresome
Comment by Chris | 03.20.2012 | 8:14 am
I don’t think I like this Paul guy.
Comment by Clydesteve | 03.20.2012 | 8:18 am
seems reasonable, Fatty – I’d go with it on this. Paul-G, BSNYC’s number is 42, I think. Wait maybe it’s BR-549.
Comment by Shep | 03.20.2012 | 8:32 am
Ok, he was (slightly) funnier than last time. Still though, who cares about academy awards? Nice little trophy sure, but they get those for PRETENDING to be someone they’re not. You’re awards are all for being the modestly awesome, world-class cyclist and blogger that you truly are. I think a front wheel stand as you pull up in front of the camera is a great idea. And if it takes 2 or 3 takes to stick it and hold it for 10 seconds or so, the cast of this show should “act” like they’re impressed. Now then, back to real life and knowing how superior true cyclists are to “actors”.
Comment by roan | 03.20.2012 | 9:06 am
Sounds like the rental car IS STILL on the table. Maybe he is missing the true nature of Fat Cyclist AND Portland, OR…You are a cyclist !
I would suggest you negotiate, The Garmin GPS in place of the car rental, would make a great prize later. Stick to your guns on this one Fatty…having said that I’m more than alittle concerned about riding with someone willing to stick a gun in his own mouth and disgrace a bicycle. Maybe missing a few teeth in the cognition system. Negotiate for the Garmin GPS and mention something about ‘pulling’ his chain (for his own good).
Comment by KM | 03.20.2012 | 9:10 am
My, someone is feeling intimidated aren’t they?? I’ll check out the jersey’s thanks to Twin Six for making them available again. I still haven’t bit the bullet though.
Comment by Chris S. | 03.20.2012 | 9:10 am
Thank you – finally got my FC jersey!
Comment by roan | 03.20.2012 | 9:26 am
We need the Date/Time of your TV debut. I invision a critical mass of intergalatic bike messengers (some…er…most of us will be posers) blazing across the set. You ride in with both Levi & Jens in headlocks with them running to keep up. Then he will realized True Notoriety. Much cleaner than a horsehead in the bed.
Comment by OCary | 03.20.2012 | 9:27 am
For a trail, Mr Guyot should have just responded with a picture of a Burley. Like this one:
http://www.bikeshophub.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/p7030093.jpg
Comment by OCary | 03.20.2012 | 9:28 am
Errr, I mean trailer, not trail.
Comment by Demonic1 | 03.20.2012 | 9:38 am
Better step it up Fatty. PG’s post is funnier than your last three.
Comment by Jeff Dieffenbach | 03.20.2012 | 9:49 am
Is the jersey really 3/4 hidden zipper? I ordered last fall and was surprised to receive a full zipper version? And, the fit of the full zipper version isn’t great–it doesn’t fit flat against my “front.”
Comment by davidh-marin, ca | 03.20.2012 | 10:22 am
Looks like Paul had to lay it on ‘thick’ this time so that some could ‘get it.’ Bravo Paul! Maybe we could get Fatty in a Tutu, a little ‘prima ballerina’ for our favorite prima donna.
I assume after this Fatty is taking The Hammer along as his personal assistant. Maybe she could put Paul…. or Timothy Hutton in a headlock, her choice.
Hope you can negotiate that group shot of the cast in their personal (signed) jerseys. Imagine how that would look in your ‘Shinning’ Hall.
And for those without a Jersey…get one! Nothing more satisfying than hearing those stirring words….” GO FATTY!!!” while you’re riding your bike.
Comment by TK | 03.20.2012 | 10:23 am
I’m holding off buying a jersey for now because I’m saving my pennies for a 100 miles of nowhere t-shirt. I hope the design is as cool as previous years.
Comment by yannb | 03.20.2012 | 10:36 am
speaking of 100 miles of nowhere, when is that supposed to happen. A few of my friends who did it last year have been asking me when we are doing it again. We had so much fun despite the rain.
Comment by Susie H | 03.20.2012 | 11:14 am
Yay! Jerseys! Yay! (Now I won’t have to wear my vintage FatCyclist T-shirt at the Davis event, I’ll have a real jersey!)
Speaking of Davis, email me if you should need any assistance, (or your awesome girl Friday from last year should need any). I work in Davis, so I’m here every day, and I’d be happy to lend a hand putting things together for Team Fatty! :)
Comment by Dean | 03.20.2012 | 11:25 am
Finally! I’ve been waiting a while for my FC jersey. In the meantime I’v even reading the archives and your book. Can’t wait to do the Tour de Cure June 9 in a FC jersey!
Comment by ScottR | 03.20.2012 | 11:29 am
Paul’s response was fully redeemed by the Bike Snob shout out :-)
Comment by Wife#1 | 03.20.2012 | 11:53 am
HAHAHAHA! Hilarious. Too good – more of these back and forths please!
Comment by davidh-marin, ca | 03.20.2012 | 12:11 pm
@ Susie H -are you saying the Fatty crowd can crash at your house!!! Hah!
I was planning to bring a case or two of Avocado’s and the rest so we could see the Master at work, a BBQ for the Brats (where do you find those ’steamer thingies’ to boil the brats beforehand, an of course PIE! It’s a multi day event, and a Team needs to eat! Your garage may become Fatty Central.
AngieG we have not heard from you lately. Susie’s in , I’m in, I’m sure there are others. Is it too early to plan????
Comment by MattC | 03.20.2012 | 12:15 pm
It’s good to ask for a bunch of crazy things you don’t really want so that you can get those that you DO really want (much like making hostage demands…I mean, not that I PERSONALLY know anything about making hostage demands…well, maybe a little bit).
I admit I was sort of surprised….was kind of thinking that after all the other things you’ve asked for, they’d go w/ a SUPER LARGE trailer (parked about 13 miles from the set…you know, for YOUR privacy and security).
Comment by MattC | 03.20.2012 | 12:21 pm
David…if we’re thinking Brats (as in Fatty’s INTERGALACTICly FAMOUS beer Brats that he makes for RAWROD every year) I have a turkey-cooker I could bring (the propane cooker w/ a huge pot). I assume that would be satisfactory for the boiling…tho I’m a novice at cooking beer brats (but not at EATING them tho..I’m a JEDI MASTER in that category).
I’m up for starting to get organized…I believe that Angie already has the Cycling Hall of Fame reserved for us that Friday evening (make your plans NOW to be in Davis Fri evening everybody! It was a BLAST last year!).
Comment by Herb S. | 03.20.2012 | 12:45 pm
What? No 3X jersey? Fat Cyclist my….
Comment by Kukui | 03.20.2012 | 1:29 pm
Yay! A women’s XXL jersey! Ordered! =)
Comment by davidh-marin, ca | 03.20.2012 | 2:14 pm
For anyone not following MattC http://inane-asylum2.blogspot.com/ You might want to check out his recent post of riding in England He says he’s working(????) I’ve only seen pictures of Beer, Scotland, and sights.
And Matt, you know that old saying “where men are men and sheep are….”
Maybe they saw you coming.
Comment by Haven-KT | 03.20.2012 | 3:03 pm
OCary and I had the same thought– If Fatty’s looking for a trailer bigger than all the actors put together… well, that’s not a very big trailer, Paul, you should be able to handle that easily through UHaul. It would be ample to hold all Fatty’s awards AND his “quiver” of bikes. And maybe also Fatty, but I wouldn’t bank on it.
Comment by Nancy_in_MN | 03.20.2012 | 3:17 pm
OK. I am loving this exchange with Fizzhog (PG)! You two are insanely funny and I’d dearly love to be a fly on the wall on the Leverage set. I look forward to “ride reports” from the Leverage experience, Fatty.
Comment by roan | 03.20.2012 | 3:58 pm
Really, Nancy_in_MN, a fly on the wall ? Paul G. sounds pretty tough…SPLAT…then Fatty enters the room. The Leverage crew turns and points, her name was Magil and she called herself Lil…but everyone knew her as Nancy. Their version of roadkill.
Comment by eclecticdeb | 03.20.2012 | 4:22 pm
Nice one Paul.
Comment by Andrew (From Sydney) | 03.20.2012 | 5:33 pm
Enjoying the posts. Is it me, or are they a little slower at the moment. i.e. bigger gaps between new posts?
I have to ask is this a Fatty strategy to have us buying and reading his book when he is not loading stuff up here fast enough….. If it is working, I’ve almost finished his book, I am up to the Food section.
Buy the book it’s good. I am also waiting for the 100 Miles to No Where, I’ve got a team lined up.
Comment by ClydeinKS | 03.20.2012 | 6:12 pm
Finally in new jerseys (for Mighty Athena also)!! And the current challenge had us order a size down from the current, hopefully in them soon!
THANK YOU!!!
(any chance the bottles make a come-back?)
Comment by FirstTime Poster | 03.20.2012 | 6:50 pm
This Leverage open letter sequence is not up to your usual par. Drop this line and revert to stories about your epic rides.
Comment by AKChick55 | 03.20.2012 | 10:29 pm
Awesome! Love it!
I finally told my hubby I want to go to Davis. He about had a cow. Okay not really, cause that is physically impossible. Anyway, I’m stashing away overtime money and I have a place to stay for free that is 1/2 mile from the venue (squee!). Just have to convince him to let me use up my airline miles for a ticket. Need to start doing some fundraising. :) And pray for our record breaking snow to melt (we are 3 inches away from the all-time snow record).
On a side note, just found out that my uncle, who thought he had testicular cancer actually has Stage 2 Lymphoma. F-Cancer.
Comment by Fatty's Agent | 03.20.2012 | 11:31 pm
Paul, call me asap so we can make the necessary arrangements for Fatty’s star on Hollywood Blvd.
Comment by Sof | 03.21.2012 | 8:48 am
Hey that Jersey is pretty cool, and this blog is great! Our blog’s pretty similar for Land Rover Bikes. Check us out!
http://www.landrover-bikes.com
Thanks! :)
Comment by KM | 03.21.2012 | 8:54 am
Hey fatty! I occaionally read web version of the UK newspaper Telegraph b/c I like their coverage of european cycling and noticed that on their sidebar they had a link to your blog listed! I thought that was pretty cool and again affirmed you’re a recognized worldwide sensation of cycling prowess. There, send that bit of knowledge to Paul Guyot and let him tremble at your magnificance!!!
Comment by Susie H | 03.21.2012 | 4:42 pm
@ davidh — the operative word here is “work”. I work in Davis, not live! haha! That being said, if anyone DOES need a place to stay, I live a half hour away in Vacaville, and we have two, yes two, spare rooms. We also have a lovingly restored spare bike, of which my husband is inordinately proud. In fact so proud, I believe he is planning to ride THAT one (her name is Pearl) in the event, so his newer bike might be the spare. (of course, I’ve not confirmed any of the ’sparity’ with him!)
I do not think it is too early to start planning, and a BBQ sounds amazing…:)
Comment by Simple | 03.21.2012 | 5:57 pm
OK, next topic please!
Comment by Marty | 03.22.2012 | 7:53 am
Are your jerseys “Relaxed Fit?”
Comment by Heidi | 03.22.2012 | 10:27 am
Rich said: I think that “intergalactic notoriety” would make for a good book title.
Me, I think it would make a great name for a band!