Rule #5 is Stupid
Some of you have never heard of it. Some of you have heard it referenced, but don’t know what it means. But probably most of you have heard of it, know what it means, and regard it as a sacred cycling edict:
The famous Velominati Rule #5: “Harden the F— up.”
I’ve had cyclists say it to me when I’ve been stopped on the side of the trail mid-race, crouched and whimpering as my quads and hamstrings battled it out to see which could cramp harder.
I’ve heard cyclists say it to others on trails, much more frequently on the road, and—most frequently of all—on social media.
It’s time this stops. It’s time the Velominati retract and apologize for their vaunted Rule #5 as the single stupidest, most insipid utterance to ever gain traction in cycling.
Oh the Arrogance
What bothers me about this so called “Rule V” is the presumption that anyone is in any position to assess how hard another rider is, how they’re working on being harder, or how hard they want to be.
No, instead, you’ve diagnosed the problem (insufficient hardness) and—luckily for the other guy—are on hand to provide a useful solution.
How lucky for that other person!
And of course, the fact that you are able to measure hardness and the need to have more of it means that you must be very hard indeed. Hey, you’ve been through the fire, right? You’re tempered steel; you recognize pig iron when you see it. It’s your responsibility to tell others the error of their ways.
Or, it’s possible you’re just an arrogant dork with an inflated opinion of yourself.
First Line of Defense
I am not the first person to take issue with Rule #5, nor with The Rules in general. And whenever someone does, the Velominati apologists fall back to the “have a sense of humor” defense, a variant of the “we were just kidding around” line schoolyard bullies have used ever since there were schoolyards.
If it’s a joke, fine. Saying something absurd with a straight face is a totally legitimate way to make a joke.
However, regardless of original intent, a lot of people don’t regard it as a joke now, and they see it as excellent advice to give to others, and then hide behind the “it’s just a joke line,” thus trying to have it both ways.
So here’s a tip for the “Just Kidding” types: You either mean it, or it’s a joke. If there’s a joke, there needs to be a punchline. And if you mean it, you’re an arrogant and presumptuous idiot. (Hey, I’m just kidding though.)
Do You Have The Right?
Here’s a question to everyone who’s ever told another person, “Rule #5,” or just gone ahead and told them to harden the f— up: Are you “hard” enough to dispense this kind of advice? Which is to say, are you so supremely confident that lack of hardness is the reason someone is having a bad day on the bike?
Or is it possible that they are bonked and hungry because they followed the absolutely idiotic Rule 91: No Food On Training Rides Under Four Hours? (If you can train for three hours without food, you’re not going hard enough. And while on your bike is not the time to cut back on calories. I’m a complete idiot and even I know that.)
Or maybe they felt like venting a little bit. Maybe they thought that—since the Velominati are apparently allowed to talk endlessly about the nobility of suffering—perhaps it would be OK for someone else to mention that they’re having a rough time today.
Or maybe they’re just not as fast as you, and have done all the hardening they can do before getting dropped.
Or maybe they’ve got another reason for not being, at this moment in time, as magnificently “hard” as you.
But know this: if you tell anyone, whether in reference (“Rule V dude, rule V.”) or by actually saying, “Harden the F— up,” you are in massive violation of the much more valid Rule 43: Don’t be a jackass. (And you’re not being the funny kind, either, in case you’re hoping to get the “or at least be a funny jackass” fine-print exception.)
Furthermore, by saying “Rule V” to anyone, anywhere, you have explicitly relinquished any claim to assistance the next time you bonk, have a mechanical, or are out in the middle of nowhere facing a 20mph headwind.
Instead, use that time to think about how wonderfully hard you are. And also, don’t tell us about it when / if you ever get back.
And finally, please note: if you make this proclamation to another rider and then are later dropped by that rider—on (especially) this day or any other, you are legally obligated to rend your jersey and kidney-punch yourself to the point of renal failure.
In short: you don’t know how hard other people are, or how much hardening they’ve done. You don’t know how far they’ve come or where they are right now.
You Vs Others
I have, at times, actually uttered words similar to Rule #5. To myself. Because I often do find myself lacking. I often want to stretch myself, to see if I can find a new breaking point.
I will often mutter, to myself, “Just. Stay. Strong.” Or “Five. More. Minutes.” Or even, “Five. More. Seconds.”
I’m a big believer in testing myself. In trying to be stronger. “Harder,” if you want to call it that. Whatever.
I think most of us want to improve ourselves. And we’ve all got our internal monologues prodding us along.
Some of us even have coaches, people we’ve hired to push us further.
But for everyone else, stop it. Rule #5—faux-jokingly or not—is the dumbest, least-useful, most insulting advice you can give another cyclist.
And if you say it, be prepared lose a kidney.
Comment by Tom in Albany | 12.15.2014 | 12:33 pm
Honestly, I find all of “The Rules” stupid.
But, I’ve always been “that kinda guy”.
Probably “The Rules” were written with people like me in mind. You know, the ‘kinda guy’ that doesn’t give a rat’s behind what anyone else thinks. And, the ‘kinda guy’ that doesn’t shave his legs. And the ‘kinda guy’ that doesn’t coordinate his kit. Etc. Etc. I suggest that those that offer rule 5 should ride with one of these. In fact, I’m surprised that none of our favorite accessory companies has offered one yet!
Comment by Bart the Clydesdale | 12.15.2014 | 12:38 pm
So if I give myself a title can I come up a list of 93 arbitrary and in many cases contradictory rules?
If so I have a couple of suggestions most would revolve around how anyone under 6′3″ and or 185 lbs can not compete in men’s divisions of races and shall compete in a newly formed and named division aged adolescences. Mostly because no matter how much I attempt to follow rule 5 I can not keep up with smaller guys which I find damaging to my fragile self image.
I need to figure out how to add a Like button to comments. – FC
Comment by RB | 12.15.2014 | 12:45 pm
Fatty you sound angry. I’d suggest yoga, but inevitably someone would suggest whiskey instead.
I love telling people I ride with to HTFU or “five and dime”. Why? Because they end up laughing so hard I can usually pass them.
Comment by MicroTim | 12.15.2014 | 12:52 pm
RB: how about ‘Whiskey is my yoga’.
From DrunkCyclist: http://drunkcyclist.com/2014/12/08/whiskey-yoga/
Comment by RB | 12.15.2014 | 12:57 pm
I love the DC guys. When I see them and if they let me, I hug them
Unfortunately, I can’t keep up with their rules either
I consider “The Great Fatsby” the only true source of proper cycling knowledge, and I haven’t even read the thing yet (or maybe I have…in blog form???)
Comment by leroy | 12.15.2014 | 1:01 pm
Rule No. 5-A: Soak up the sun, tell everyone to lighten up.
Of course, last night my dog repeatedly invoked Rule 5. But he had his head in the fridge and was talking to a batch of jello we had just whipped up.
I can’t get him to understand that patience is a virtue.
Comment by Sophia | 12.15.2014 | 1:06 pm
I’d never heard of these rules until just now. I found a couple good ones, but, for the most part, they reminded me of a bunch of middle school boys trying to prove to themselves how tough and cool they are. I was imagining non-cyclists reading it, and the thought made me cringe.
I like your take much better.
Comment by Paul | 12.15.2014 | 1:37 pm
Sadly the first rulle of Velominati is not “Do not talk about Velominati.”
Comment by MikeL | 12.15.2014 | 1:46 pm
I read the whole set of rules and just laughed them off as a joke. I see the Velominati in much the same way as I do commentotors on most biking web sites (this one excepted): trolls sitting in their mother’s basements commenting on riding instead of being out riding themselves.
Just remember these quotes to put it all in perspective:
“Rules? I don’t need no stinking rules.”.
or to poorly paraphrase Monty Python: “Rule number x. There is no rule x….”
Comment by Harry Walnut | 12.15.2014 | 1:50 pm
thank you for this. I thought I was the only one who thought the rules were stupid and the adherents even moreso. The last thing we need in cycling is more elitism.
Comment by josh | 12.15.2014 | 2:07 pm
The velominati rules are simply the modern equivilent of the famous sayings of great cyclists past that we all revere:
“As long as I breathe, I attack” -Hinault.
“If it hurts me, it must hurt the other ones twice as much.” Or more well known: “Shut up legs!”~ Jens Voigt.
People saying it as they pass someone who is hurting are taking it out of context and it speaks more to their character than the the author(s) of the quote itself ever meant. While there may be a thread of truth in them [the rules], I think we can all agree that they are to be taken with a grain of salt.
Comment by Ty | 12.15.2014 | 2:12 pm
I’ve had more than one occasion where I wanted to “Say HTFU”. Usually 2/3s of the way through a long hilly ride. But I can remember being in that spot once upon a time. And as I am getting on in years I am sure one day I will be again. At that time I will be hoping for the wheel to follow and encouragement that I have instead tried to offer. Remember they have had the courage to get out there and try rides that are beyond then. Now.
Comment by MattC | 12.15.2014 | 2:35 pm
THANK YOU FATTY for finally having the guts to PUBICLY denounce this (and the rest) of those stupid rules! Anybody who follows these rules and then doesn’t have the required gear (because they refuse to carry a seat-bag) to repair his/her bike out on the road, well…I don’t feel sorry for you in the least…go ahead and walk your bike home for all I care. Oooh, I’m sorry…is that too much for you? See rule #5!)
And besides…if anybody is going to tell ME to HTFU, it will be ME, thank you very much. I much prefer Jen’s saying that we all know and love.
Besides, it’s usually my legs that falter. Not that it’s entirely their fault mind-you…minimal riding, maximal eating (ESPECIALLY this time of year)…legs can’t take all the blame.
Might as well blame the copious amount of egg-nog that I consume this time of year (who doesn’t LOVE egg-nog with a shot of whiskey?) MMMMMMMMMMMMM!
Comment by Ben | 12.15.2014 | 2:41 pm
I like rule #5, but I never apply it to anyone but myself. Its a whispered mantra when your friends ride away form you.
Me too (though I don’t use those words). – FC
Comment by Mark in Bremerton | 12.15.2014 | 3:01 pm
What Ben (and you) just said! I apply some of the rules, just because they are fun, and don’t worry about the rest. I’ve also found that whoever wins the sprints, climbs, races, etc. is the guy “making” the rules. #5, again, is for me to me only, and I really DO need to HTFU!
Comment by Jason | 12.15.2014 | 3:03 pm
Remind me to not enter the same races as you because I have never heard anybody utter that during a race. I guess they are pretty rude and hardcore out in the heat of the desert! People are generally incredibly nice when I or others have been in distress during endurance events or rides. I have only experienced people discussing rule #5 when people are trying to motivate themselves or when there is joking between people that love winter riding and those that stick to indoor trainer sessions. And in all cases, it was pretty light-hearted and humorous to all parties involved.
Comment by Kate | 12.15.2014 | 3:31 pm
This made my day. We have a few local people who take Rule #5 in all seriousness as THE most important piece of cycling advice and are happy to share it with you no matter how unsolicited their input may be.
Comment by wharton_crew | 12.15.2014 | 3:43 pm
Fatty, before my cycling years, I was a hard-core golfer…like the kind that would play mind-games with my foursome and fling a club (broken) into the pond for an errant shot. Then one day, it hit me…I hated golf because of my ‘hard-core’ pursuit of perfection.
Now, I smile on the course no matter how bad I duff a shot. I love the sun, the nature, the beauty of the place.
Same thing with riding. There are times when I’ll go at my max, but only because it’s FUN to do that. When it stops being fun and/or I vomit, then I sit back in the saddle and slow-pedal my way to a relaxed smile.
It’s the only way to live. I like to call it “Happy the F___ Up”. :-)
Comment by Brian in VA | 12.15.2014 | 3:53 pm
The first time I read those rules, I thought, “Good grief, I’ve broken so many of these! I hope my riding partners will forgive me for being such a Fred!” And then I realized they were joking and I thought, “What a bunch of Freds!” (I don’t even know what a Fred is but I read it on another site; I think it’s a dork but seemed to be cooler.)
Then I realized the only people that gave a whit about those rules were probably dorks their ownselves. And that made me feel much better. I like my seat bag, my blinkies, and rear view mirror, thanks very much. And I’ll keep ‘em and the only person that will tell me Rule V, is moi!
Except, it’s more like your version, Fatty. “Just give me XX more seconds. Don’t worry, you won’t die. You’ll pass out long before that!”
Thanks for calling ‘em out!
Comment by TLK57 | 12.15.2014 | 4:25 pm
Rule#5 is equivalent to saying Stop Complaining. It hurts for everyone and no one wants to listen to you whine. Cycling always hurts when you go hard and it never gets easier, you just go faster.
Comment by Cold Water | 12.15.2014 | 4:45 pm
I too invoke Rule 43: you are invalidating my sense of humor, Fatty. Your quarrel rests not with The Rules but with blind adherence.
The art teacher does not expect every student to produce an identical product. So too are The Rules: they are the shapes, colors, and composition of the subject. You can blame The Rules as much as a bowl of fruit. They are tired devices, perhaps, but still well worth the study. Neither should be reduced to color-by-numbers exercises.
Comment by Scott Gilbert | 12.15.2014 | 5:12 pm
Rule #5 is to be invoked to oneself when you start to hear yourself whining or complaining. It’s only meant for others when they are your friends i.e. normal trashtalk while riding. I use it to combat the herniated discs in my back and tell myself Rule #5 and that the pain is only mostly temporary in my case. I love Rule #5. It’s my license plate.
Comment by HyperSprite | 12.15.2014 | 5:28 pm
I am with Ben on this one, I apply the rule to myself. When I am considering stopping 2/3rds up a 20%+ climb, Rule 5. When my fingers are numb and my bib shorts soaked through from the cold and rain, Rule 5. When I am just about to be dropped by Dave T. Rule 5. It works for me, I keep going (although I still get dropped by Dave T.).
Comment by Tom in AZ | 12.15.2014 | 6:44 pm
I only ever say it half-seriously to myself. Usually it’s at 0600, dark, cold, maybe raining maybe snowing with a gale blowing and I have to leave for work (of course Rule 9 applies here). That said, who’s going to take it seriously from a Cat 6 commuter on a hybrid puffing his way up the highway?
Comment by velotrekker | 12.15.2014 | 6:47 pm
my take is that rule 5 is a joke not an epithet. personally i feel it justified using it only when admonishing consistent whiners. Like Cavendish. so lighten up fatty ; )
Comment by John in EG | 12.15.2014 | 7:27 pm
So THAT’s what some folks said as I walked up Coleman Valley Road… Thank goodness I didn’t know or I might have replied “Shut the f… up”. Karma is a funny thing, which always wins. Agree with Velotrekker, ok to use on whiners.
Comment by sem esuvidha | 12.15.2014 | 8:24 pm
This made my day. We have a few local people who take Rule #5 in all seriousness as THE most important piece of cycling advice and are happy to share it with you no matter how unsolicited their input may be.
Comment by Sunny | 12.15.2014 | 9:06 pm
You’re kidding,right? Tell me these “rules” don’t exist let alone taken seriously.
PS Love the book btw
Comment by Arizona Guy | 12.15.2014 | 10:34 pm
I have a classic HTFU punch-line story – it doesn’t debunk this post, (or the Velominati)but it needs to be told.
On the back half of the run at the Boulder 1/2 IM (~2010) a cluster of people we running uphill a on sun-baked dirt road with no shade anywhere in site. Ahead of me was apparently a couple with a tall guy and a gal that could have been Hammer’s cousin.
As I came near them, I could hear the guy complaining:Bad bike ride, not enough water, no shade… That’s when I heard the woman say ‘ You just have to HTFU!’ and dropped him like 1st period calculus.
I didn’t know whether to laugh or pat him on the back…
Comment by Days | 12.15.2014 | 10:49 pm
Cup of concrete?
Comment by Steve McCubbin | 12.16.2014 | 2:36 am
I recall a time during an incredibly difficult hill run when I was at boot camp when I hit my red line, put my hands on my knees and threw up. Snot and tears were pouring out of my face. One of the Drill Sergeants came up, leaded over next to me, looked me in the eyes and said, “Are you physically hurt?”. My answer was, “No, Drill Sergeant.” His reply was a simple, “Get moving, Private.”
HTFU has a time and a place, however, it must be delivered by someone with the respect and authority to do so.
Comment by Anonymous | 12.16.2014 | 8:13 am
Wow. Who would have thought a post like this would generate so much furor?
We all push ourselves to go harder, faster, farther; we are the only ones who can, and it’s how we get better at anything we do. But for me the primary rule is always “Don’t take yourself too seriously.”
I am with @Wharton_crew – if it isn’t fun, we bother doing it?
Comment by Dave T | 12.16.2014 | 8:54 am
Your right rule # 5 is stupid. The only rule I try and follow is keep the rubber side down. Not always successful with that one though.
Comment by Jacob | 12.16.2014 | 9:44 am
Maybe the rules are much like religion in that they can be very useful when you apply them to yourself, but they end up looking really bad when others try to force them on you.
Basically, telling myself to remember rule 5 when I’m tending toward taking it easy is perfectly valid, because I do halfway know myself. Me telling it to you would be stupid. Probably because you dropped me in the first three miles and you are no longer in earshot.
Comment by Jacob | 12.16.2014 | 9:45 am
Also, why have I been assuming that HTFU stood for Hulk the F Up?
Comment by Cyclingjimbo | 12.16.2014 | 9:54 am
Need to proof read better – ” … why bother doing it?” Leroy’s dog can probably type better than I can.
Comment by did | 12.16.2014 | 9:57 am
My rule is that I can only say it to myself unless the other person is known to me and is clearly and unambiguously having a whinge.
Comment by Papa Bear | 12.16.2014 | 10:24 am
Fatty, I completely agree. The Velominati rules are a bunch of crap all-together. I have only 10 rules (read: Commandments) that I follow. Well, that’s not true… there is the 11th commandment: “Thou shalt not whine – at least in my presence”.
Oh, and the 12th commandment: “Thy calories shalt not count during the holiday season”.
Erm, and the 13th commandment: “Thou shalt not make fun of my recumbent nor my beard lest ye be smitten by an angry fat man”.
I could go on…
Comment by Jeff Dieffenbach | 12.16.2014 | 10:35 am
FWIW, my take on The Rules (because no one asked). I love them. Mostly for their entertainment value, sometimes for their actual value. A few favorites:
#5 (HTFU): As long as it’s in good fun, I’m all for this one. My experience has been that my friends who utter it are also the ones who will drop everything to help a rider out who’s truly in need.
#8 (color-matching): Nothing wrong with looking stylish. Hey, that’s why I wear my Fatty kit, after all!
#9 (bad weather): Perhaps my favorite, because while #5 can be derogatory, #9 never is.
#12 (N+1): As a single guy, there is no S-1.
#19 (introduce yourself): As an introvert, this isn’t always easy, but it almost always works out well.
#22 (cycling caps): I don’t wear them “just around town,” but certainly don them post-ride to spare everyone a really bad case of helmet hair.
#29 (no saddle bags): This one’s just silly, and one of the most violated rules even by fairly hard-core roadies.
#33 (shave): I don’t. No objection, and it looks cool, but I really don’t need any more maintenance activities than I already have.
#37 (sunglass temple pieces and helmet straps): I’ve taken this one to heart for no reason whatsoever. I almost always remember to take my glasses off before my helmet. The remaining times, I launch my glasses across the parking lot.
#42 (no swim/no run): This one makes me chuckle because I view swimming and running as survival skills, not forms of exercise at which I’m even moderately competent.
#63 (point in direction of turn): When I see someone signal with the left hand up movement, I have to think too hard.
#66 (no mirrors): Of all of The Rules, I disagree with this one the most. The Rules should never be about being unsafe. And mirrors have helped me stay safe an uncountable number of times.
#74 (no GPS): But I LOVE data!
#90 (stay in the big ring): Not with my legs …
Comment by bikemike | 12.16.2014 | 11:13 am
Rule #1 People are stupid.
Rules# 3-16 See rule #1
Rule #17 Go to Dairy Queen.
Comment by Flat tired | 12.16.2014 | 12:02 pm
Definitely need a “Like” button
Comment by Rick | 12.16.2014 | 12:46 pm
I think I can, I think I can, I think I can! :)
Comment by DanD | 12.16.2014 | 2:33 pm
About the only rule I see in there that actually means anything is #58 – Support your local bike shop.
Every single other bit of it is contrary to the two actual rules of cycling.
1. Have fun.
2. Don’t prevent other people from having fun.
Comment by DangerStu | 12.16.2014 | 4:15 pm
I always assumed the rules were firmly and deliberately tongue in cheek. Otherwise we’ll let’s not go there.
Comment by cycleguy | 12.16.2014 | 5:03 pm
The author is very defensive and a bit clueless.
Cycling is not always riding with a basket of flowers and a bonnet.
It is often hard work and we do suffer.. although we look forward to it sometimes.
The ability to have a tough hardcore attitude is often the difference between being successful and being average.(or failure)
These rules are sometimes tongue in cheek, but if you ride good experienced cyclists and racers, they are more true than not.
If you don’t do some of them you will be seen, without comment, as a rookie, and someone who is a potential question mark as to their safety and ability.
Every sport has its unofficial rules as to what a serious participant would and would not do.
Swimming: Swimming in a competitive swim meet in cut offs and a tee shirt would not be seen as serious.
Running in basketball shoes in a 10K.
Doing a road triathlon on a mountain bike.
You could go on and on.
So to the author, Rule 5.
Welcome back, Dr. Lammler! – FC
Comment by TigerMouth | 12.17.2014 | 7:37 am
Fat Cyclist is funny. So are the Velominati Rules. People who take them seriously are not.
Btw -I did a Cogal with some Velominatistas and it was a really fun weekend.
Comment by AUChefDave | 12.17.2014 | 7:41 am
Never heard of them until today! However, still being a XL rider, 220 plus, I still blow by all the fast guys in our group. Downhill. At 55 I have no problem telling a smartalec to stuff it if they ever said that to me.
Comment by Ann | 12.17.2014 | 9:18 am
I once had a guy pass me up hill living Rule #5. He was yelling at himself to go faster, hitting his legs to go faster and crying loudly. Odd moment. Do I laugh or just yell at him to Calm The – Down! So my rule is – if Rule #5 makes you look like an idiot move on to Rule #5.5 – For goodness sake Calm down!!!!!
Comment by David | 12.17.2014 | 9:41 am
A few months ago I stumbled across the company/team/group of friends from Rodeo Adventure Labs. This isn’t a plug for their company. In fact I’ve never even tried the Trail Nuggets. But it is a plug for their core values. I think friends of fatty would enjoy the tone and message of these “rules.”
http://www.rodeo-labs.com/core-values/?fb_action_ids=543165712483150&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_ref=below-post
Comment by CVR | 12.17.2014 | 9:49 am
Cycleguy has no idea who the author is apparently LOL
Comment by leroy | 12.17.2014 | 10:53 am
My dog explained that people say HTFU because it takes too much effort to get out:
“Deep in your mind you would love to have a luxury body (this is the reason why YOU are riding the bicycle), but when you look in the mirror all you see is the exact opposite (regardless of how many kilos you loose) of a luxury body.”
Or something about the amount of suffering on a bike “equals skipping a nice juicy dinner.”
I have to admit it makes sense now.
Comment by Chris | 12.17.2014 | 10:56 am
I find most of The Rules to be funny, see their intent to be funny, or just plain dumb.
There are a few that I believe in, and Rule 5 is one of them. Use whatever words suit you, but when I’m flagging on a climb, when I watch a wheel drift away, when I see red and think of giving up, I think about Rule 5.
I’m a Rule 9 type (at least compared to most Texans). And when it’s inordinately cold *and* windy, I mentally mix in some Rule 5 for good measure as I ride lonely miles seeing none of my kin.
And I believe there can be no gain without suffering: Rule 10. “Training is like wrestling a gorilla. You don’t stop when you’re tired, you stop when the gorilla is tired.”
The rules don’t motivate me, but the principles behind some of those rules do. Find your motivation, and get on your bike to chase it.
Comment by Jenni | 12.17.2014 | 10:34 pm
Ok, still laughing at Leroy’s comment RE:Jello
Comment by Steve | 12.18.2014 | 5:09 am
Never come across “the rules” before now, but having a good laugh reading them.
I would worry that my attitude is all wrong, and that I might be seen as “being a rookie”, “not a serious participant”, or “not successful” (or heaven forbid, “being average”). Luckily Rule 5 is there to save me from such insecurities as I have H’dTFU to the point where I don’t care.
Or, as kids round here used to say: “Wevs”
Incidentally, over here (in the UK) the phrase is MTFU, and it’s been around for ages, in many different arenas.
Comment by Kathleen Lisson | 12.24.2014 | 10:06 pm
Holy crap. Doesn’t everyone know that Rule V is only for repeating to yourself, in tears? It’s what I say when I think it’s “too cold” here in San Diego.
Comment by Rich Butterfield | 01.9.2015 | 1:20 am
You’ll be telling ne next that you really are Fat…….