New Bikes and Delivery Truck Musings on a Rainy Spring Morn
A Note from Fatty: Free-verse Friday is back! At least for today it is, anyway. Because I’m feeling extraordinarily poetic for some reason.
Verse I
In Hodgkins, Illinois
There is a truck
Or a plane
Or something
The vehicle type is not the point
What is on that vehicle
This UPS-owned vehicle
That my friend
Is the point
Verse II
At three this morning
(Which time,
By the way,
Feels not at all morning-like)
I got a text message
From the Oracle of Cannondale
(AKA Matt Ohran)
I would be receiving
IN THE VERY NEAR FUTURE
An F-Si Carbon Black Inc
Verse III
Verse IV
Sleep fled
I knew at once
That for the next two hours
I would lay awake
Dreaming
Considering
Resolving myself
To the reality
That soon I will be riding
A bike
That dream bikes
Dream of
Someday becoming
Verse V
So now I sit
This rainy day
Refreshing the UPS tracking page
As if that will somehow speed things
Expedite things
And otherwise move things along
For Monday afternoon
Cannot come soon enough
Verse VI
Sure, it’s a test
And I will be honest in my review
But I am not VeloNews
Nor am I Bicycling Magazine
Nor CyclingNews nor BikeRadar neither
My point being
That nobody really expects me
To talk about torsional stiffness
Or vertical compliance
Or whatever
Instead, I plan to talk about what it’s like
To ride the bicycle equivalent
Of an Acura NSX
For a season
(I sort of suspect it will be fun)
Thank you.
PS: I will be tweeting and quite possibly live broadcasting (using Periscope) the unboxing and build of this bike this Monday afternoon, or Tuesday morning…depending on when the bike arrives. You should probably follow me on Twitter for updates.
Comment by davidh-Marin,ca | 05.15.2015 | 9:28 am
Enve!
Comment by bikemike | 05.15.2015 | 10:09 am
Was the Oracle making chocolate chip cookies and some weird kid was
sitting on the floor bending a spoon with his mind?
Comment by Tom in Albany | 05.15.2015 | 10:18 am
Beautiful and fun! Now, go write another chapter of your race report! LOL
Comment by Don | 05.15.2015 | 10:41 am
Elden, Without the torsional compliance vertical stiffness feedback, how will I make an intelligent buying decision??
I think you should come up with single number to cover both of these uber critical areas, think “sleep number” for bicycles.
1 = I’m riding one of those playground coil spring rockers
10 = I’m riding that monolith from 2001: A Space Odyssey
Comment by UpTheGrade, SR, CA | 05.15.2015 | 12:00 pm
You’d probably have won Boggs hill climb on that beauty – it looks anti-gravitational… which, by the way, is what I really need in my next mtb ;-)
I’d be happy to give it a test ride (for 6 months or so) when you’re thoroughly done with it.
Comment by davidh-marin,ca | 05.15.2015 | 12:25 pm
@UptheGrade, SR,Ca Would that get you out to Boggs next year As I remember you are rather taller than Elden, but I imagine you’d take one for the team.
Comment by UpTheGrade, SR, CA | 05.15.2015 | 12:41 pm
@davidh-marin That would very likely swing it, especially if it comes with a hidden motor in the down tube like the Pro’s use ;-) (JK).
This year entertaining an unexpected overseas visitor took priority (unfortunately he’s not a cyclist, yet)
Comment by J | 05.15.2015 | 1:56 pm
New background pie graph too?
Comment by Doug (Way Upstate NY) | 05.15.2015 | 2:48 pm
You sir, clearly need an engineer to help you with this review. I happen to know a fantastic rocket scientist who would fit that bill nicely. You have my email :D
Comment by Twenty Sixer | 05.18.2015 | 6:16 am
U r so versetile!
Comment by Charlie | 05.18.2015 | 9:54 am
Wowzeers…$11370. I could buy a Hyundai for that.