A Letter from the Wife (With Helpful Annotations)
A “You Aren’t Going to Believe the Next Prize Trek Is Donating” Note from Fatty: Earlier this week, I announced the first two grand prizes in the Grand Slam for Kenya fundraiser.
Today, I’m excited to tease you with some hints about another prize Trek is contributing.
- First hint: it is not a bike.
- Second hint: There are a certain number of cyclists who would consider this to be far and away the most amazing of the grand prizes.
- Third hint: I am one of two people in the whole world who know what all the prizes in this contest are (Katie Bolling of World Bicycle Relief is the other person). And I can say that if I were to get first pick at any of the prizes in this contest, this is the one I would pick.
- Fourth hint: I hope to announce what this prize will be, live, in a video webinar, very soon. Within moments of when the live video begins, before I say anything at all, you’ll have a very good idea of what the prize is.
What is this prize? Feel free to speculate in the comments, but I will neither confirm nor deny any answers. Still, if you’re the first to get it right, that’s got to be worth some bragging rights, right?
Huge thanks go out to Trek, which is very obviously stepping up its WBR support in a massive way. Here’s what Adam Kostichka, Trek Advocacy Manager, has to say:
“World Bicycle Relief is a fantastic organization and one that Trek is proud to have supported for years. We’re excited about the work they are doing and the future of the program. We will continue to support them through their great initiatives.”
If I were you, I’d go donate. Right now.
And now, onto today’s story, which takes the form of a letter from Friend of Fatty Allison Houston to her (also Friend of Fatty) husband, Dave, while he’s away in Leadville for a training camp, in order to prepare for his first racing of the Leadville 100.
Helpfully, I have added my editorial notes, in order to lend balance and perspective.
When the Cycling Hubby is Away, a Catty Wife May Play…or Organize His Stuff
Let me just get this out of the way. I don’t mean to be sexist. I realize this entire post may come across as grossly stereotypical, and of course there are always exceptions to the rule, but then again, there is a rule, hoo-boy is there a rule, and the rule is this: boy cyclists are WAY more into “stuff” than women cyclists.
Yes, I am going to say it: boys and their toys. Their damn #%^&$ bike toys left all over the house, yard, basement, garage. You may have noted that I used the term “boys” versus “women“ to make my gender distinction. Yes I did. That was no accident.
Look, I’m not saying women cyclists don’t fully appreciate the finer points of insanely good biking gear, it’s just we don’t need as much of it… as in we do not need one of everything, ever made for a bike.
As my husband David (in Marin) is off on a family-sanctioned cycling trip for 10 days in Colorado and Utah, I am left with ample time to ponder the wreckage left behind from his departure and wonder, as I am sure every female partner of every male cyclist so often does, why, why, WHY?!
[While we men never ever ever wonder the same thing about all the bottles and tubes and stuff in the shower and near the sink and elsewhere in the bathroom. - FC]
Souvenir bottles . Really, you need to keep every single one of them? Because the race plate, jersey and swag bag from all those same events do not on their own prove that you were there?
[Because they have a lot of alternative uses, naturally. And a very necessary application for those bottles is guaranteed to appear the instant we get rid of them. - FC]
Spare parts. That pile, excuse me, those piles of spare bike parts are not doing any good for the world. Are you saving up to start your own bike repair business one day? If not, have you considered getting a blow torch to at least weld them into some cool art form that can better serve humanity?
[Actually, a blow torch is the wrong tool for the job. Not hot enough. It’s going to take a completely different kind of torch to make that stuff into art. Dave, better go buy one of those right now. - FC]
Used tubes. If you told me you were going to make it a mission to patch all the punctured tubes for reuse while watching the Tour de France or something, I could possibly buy in to you keeping them around. But you won’t. Not during the extended viewing in the morning because you don’t want to miss a word Phil or Paul is saying, nor will you patch during the abbreviated recast with Bob Roll in the evenings, even though you already know how the stage is won.
[OK, I’m with you on this one, Allison. - FC]
Orphan cycling socks . ‘Nuff said. They all need to die and by that, I of course mean get thrown away. I appreciate that many of them became orphans because the dog that I wanted to get is a sock eater (and pooper), but whatever the reason, the singles need to go.
[Those orphan socks are incredibly valuable. You put a tube in them, double them up, and then put them in your saddle bag. By doing this, you don’t wind up chafing a hole in the spare tube in your saddle bag. - FC]
Jerseys . While I kind of appreciate your desire to go all Christo one day by wrapping the world in the massive collection of cycling jerseys you are amassing , I also kind of resent that you need twice as much drawer space as I do.
[All I’m going to say is: it could be worse. - FC]
Orphan gloves . [see orphan socks]. Okay I know where the socks go but my dog does not poop gloves, so where are all the missing gloves, Michael Jackson?
[I’d like an answer to this question myself. That said, I’d like to point out that this is in no way a guys-only issue. The Hammer has as many orphan gloves as I do, and finds it just as frustrating. - FC]
CO2 tubes. If I strike one with a hammer in a rage after stepping on it and going flying across the room and landing on my butt, will it explode? And if does explode, am I guaranteed that it will do enough damage to take out the rest of the cycling gear? Might be worth it, but let me check our homeowner’s insurance first.
Energy Gels, Bars, Waffles and Electrolytes. Just so you know, I will be sending all of your cycling nutrition remainders to the next nation that experiences a major famine.
So. Much. Stuff.
All that said, while my own personal motto runs along the lines of “when in doubt, throw it out”, I would never do that to you, dear hubby. Well, not while you’re alive anyway. Now if you keel over on Columbine or Powerline this week, all bets are off, but otherwise, your bike stuff awaits your return.
However…
I will be taking advantage of your absence to oh-so-very-thoroughly organize all your cycling gear so it’s out of sight and neatly put away.
[The Hammer’s done that to me. Here’s what happens. The next time I’m looking for something and can’t find it because everything’s been moved to somewhere other than where I had put it, I turn the house upside down looking for it. The net result is a larger mess than the one that was there in the first place. - FC]
Stop hyperventilating. Can’t possibly be good for you at that altitude.
See you in a week. XXXOOO
Wife#1
Comment by Wife#1 | 07.8.2015 | 12:11 pm
Your helpful answers to many of these mysteries almost makes up for the cruel teaser of the best-ever mystery prize.
Almost.
That said, I have a few follow up questions.
1) To protect the tubes in the saddle back, how many orphan socks are actually needed, and am I allowed to throw out any beyond that number without spousal review?
2) Could I get some technical specs on the welding equipment needed? Christmas in only 6 months away!
3) I think we’d all (and by we, I mean me on behalf of women everywhere) like to hear from the Hammer on if she found it personally satisfying enough to organize all the stuff that it made up for your subsequent “where is it” Tasmanian Devil episode? Also, her thoughts on if you actually always found what you were looking for BEFORE she organized it? :-)
4) Toiletries. Okay with you on that one, especially with a 14 y/o girl in our house. But then again, those are generally limited to the bathroom whereas the bike stuff seems to have a far greater range.
As always, your sage advice is a boon to cycling relationships around the world!
Comment by bacmapei | 07.8.2015 | 12:12 pm
Bravo! Another great guest post. My super helpful wife purchased a gear case (mine came from Cat5gear) to help limit the spread of most of my “gets used frequently” stuff. Thankfully I’m still at the stage of extra parts fitting in a single smallish box. My current problem is new jerseys. I’ve been told that I already have enough (that’s not really possible, is it?). So, I’m going to try a buy now and store it away to be worn late the next riding season approach. When challenged with “New jersey?”, I’ll reply, “This old thing, I’ve had it for over a year….”
Comment by BostonCarlos (formerly NYC) | 07.8.2015 | 12:38 pm
It’s gotta be a Trek Travels trip. And that makes me excited.
Also, Allison, this was awesome. I won’t be showing it to my wife though… don’t want her to get any crazy ideas.
Comment by AKChick | 07.8.2015 | 12:38 pm
A guest post by my cycling soulmate!!! :) LOVE IT and LOL! Love Fatty’s editorial comments too! Super funny.
Wife#1 – alas, I fall into the “boy” category except my stuff is mostly neatly organized and I don’t seem to have any orphan socks. I also have several jerseys that are too small for me that I hope I will fit into one day (HELLOOOO cycling jersey makers – not all cyclists have small boobs!). I pretty much wear 3 jerseys but I have around 10 at this point. Sadly, the sport version of the new Fatty jersey is a little too snug. Hoping if I lose some weight (and I’m not that overweight) that I can wear it without being embarrassed cause it really goes well with my snappy new road bike (that has electronic shifting = LOVE).
You should also see my collection of bike seats. Even my SUPER expensive new road bike came with an expensive Fizik saddle that HURTS if you go over 10 miles. I was going to try to sell a couple, but my husband wants to do some kind of rt with them.
I have a huge variety of bike bags that I can’t seem to get rid of even though I use my Osprey pack pretty much exclusively for commuting.
I buy and receive all kinds of energy foods, gels (uck), jelly beans, etc. I really only use Perpeteum and on longer rides a PB&J or on my last 100 miler, blueberry scones (they were delicious). My hubby finally made me go through and get rid of the expired ones (I had stuff from 2012!).
I can’t get rid of all my bottles, just can’t do it. They are neatly stowed. My fav is one of the 100MON clear bottles with the orange horse. Can’t remember the brand.
Caveats – I use old an fashioned hand pump – the cartridges scare me and I’m so inept, I’d empty the cartridge and not get any into my tube. I throw out all my bad tubes. I don’t have a lot of parts yet because my stuff doesn’t seem to get broken or wear out quickly. I am kind of an obsessive chain/cassette/chain ring cleaner though.
Loving the guest posts!!! :)
Comment by Wife#1 | 07.8.2015 | 12:40 pm
@bacmapei
I think we need to hear directly from your super helpful wife! Of course I have my own opinion on your question concerning what is enough jerseys, but I believe there is also a gender neutral algorithm you can reference that accounts for relationship years, drawer space and general tolerance for stuff.
Curious if you intend to remain within the confines of the gear case that she lovingly purchased for “you”? *wink wink*
Comment by Wife#1 | 07.8.2015 | 12:42 pm
@bostoncarlos
We know where you live! You should be sharing everything with your lovely wife. ;-)
Comment by davidh-Marin,ca | 07.8.2015 | 12:43 pm
Thank you Fatty for defending me where you could.
I will defend myself at this time only on the ‘bottles’. Trying to type at altitude is as difficult as riding at same:
The bottles are needed for the kids sports activities, when they are unable to locate their own MIR or Lacrosse specialty bottles. They then need another bottle for the next outing since they now don’t know where the previous bottle is, or the specialty bottles noted above. Once all the bike bottles have been removed from the cabinet(glass doors may contribute to Wife#1’s consternation) I will clean out the back of the car, under their beds, on shelves, near the computer, and from around the yard. Only after having washed these, and put them away does their quantity seem extravagant.
What I’d like to know is where are the bottles for the extra caps?
Comment by Wife#1 | 07.8.2015 | 12:44 pm
@akchick
Why am I not surprised that the aforementioned “exception to the rule” would be you? You are exceptional in so many ways!
Bike seats, though? Bike seats? Really? We need to talk.
Comment by AKChick | 07.8.2015 | 12:49 pm
Wife#1: LOL! In my relationship, my hubby is you and I’m David. :)
Yep, saddles. I think I have 5 or 6 at this point. They all get replaced by my go to $40 Serfas saddle.
Comment by Josh in Ohio | 07.8.2015 | 12:50 pm
This post is particularly timely, having just moved to a downsized home and actively seeking to defend the necessity of all my cycling accoutrements!
As for the prize, I’m going to guess entry/trip to the Jensie Gran Fondo in Marin County in October? With Jensie himself participating in the webinar announcement (which is why we’ll know what the prize is within moments of the video beginning)?
Comment by davidh-Marin,ca | 07.8.2015 | 12:56 pm
I have my own idea about the ‘prize’, and if I’m right I’ll tell you what to expect. Really….I promise.
Comment by Wife#1 | 07.8.2015 | 1:16 pm
@Josh in Ohio
Not a bad theory at all. That would be very cool, though I am hoping it’s a trip (for 2!) to Kenya to help distribute the WBR bikes.
Good luck on downsizing! For a small fee I can come get rid of stuff for you. ;-)
Comment by Brian in VA | 07.8.2015 | 1:27 pm
I have no orphan socks or gloves, all my jerseys and bibs are hung in my closet and my closet is always smaller than my bride’s. My tools and unused cycling stuff (and unused is a temporary state of being…I’m going to need it someday) are all in my workshop which is out of sight to everyone else. Unless she goes out there looking for something and then, boy, do I hear about it. My defense is “It’s my shop!”
Trek sponsored trip for 2 to Italy and then Kenya. You heard it hear first!
Comment by GregC | 07.8.2015 | 1:29 pm
Nicely done Alison! the FC counter added quite the contrary balance. I”m pretty sure I dont want my wife reading this post- the discussion on the # bottles and jerseys is spot on!
Comment by Katie Bolling | 07.8.2015 | 1:49 pm
Three things:
1. I do know what the prize is. I agree that it’s pretty dang epic. Big fish out of the water type prize! For all of you that have supported the fundraiser so far, thank you so much!
2. This picture showcases my husband’s bike rag pile. JUST one other example of the massive accumulation around the hobby as a male.
3. Wife#1 – Did you know Elden is the captain of WBR’s Leadville Team this year? Would David want to join the team? He’s certainly welcome to!!!
Comment by Chicago Nick | 07.8.2015 | 1:51 pm
“Win a date with Fatty” would be the best gift ever!
Comment by Paula | 07.8.2015 | 1:51 pm
Oh, if only I could post pictures to illustrate! We moved from a 1400 sq ft condo where bike gak was contained to above the washer to a 3400 sq ft house where it covers 1 wall of an 18′ long laundry room. We won’t even mention how the bikes live in luxury in the bar/movie room.
Comment by ScottyCycles | 07.8.2015 | 1:55 pm
My guess is a Trek Travel Tour to Italy!
Comment by Wife#1 | 07.8.2015 | 2:07 pm
@Brian in VA
You had me at “I have no…”
Comment by Wife#1 | 07.8.2015 | 2:10 pm
@GregC
I am calling your wife right now. :-)
Comment by Wife#1 | 07.8.2015 | 2:15 pm
@katiebolling
You’re an even worse tease than Fatty! And also, I can’t get that image to show (though I’m on a Mac today, so maybe that’s why?)
Lastly, I can’t speak for David (and he does quite well on his own as we know), I suspect it would be too hard to add on the fundraising component of being on the team given how relentlessly I hit up everyone we know for my birthday WBR fundraisier. I’ll let him him weigh in though!
Comment by MattC | 07.8.2015 | 3:08 pm
Fantastic post Wife #1 (and Fatty)! I also have zero orphan socks OR gloves (but how about lets NOT talk about why I MUST save the old pairs that have holes in them and don’t get used anymore). Sadly (for me) nearly ALL my bike gear lives in the garage in a rather small area…thus my dilemma of getting a new FC jersey every year.
I have been forced to draw a line in the sand after this current FC kit tho (I got the bibs too for a change). Also my water-bottle collection has been ‘reduced’, due to the space-constraints thing. I have NO room to expand my bike gear in our 2 car garage (that has 2 cars, 2 bikes, a lawn mower, week whacker, edger, my tool-bench, tool-locker, full-size bike shipping hard-case, full size washer & dryer, water-heater, AND also shelves mounted up high on 3 sides that are totally full…that’s where old bike parts that I MUST have reside).
I’d trade it all for a garage FULL of nice bikes tho. I did just have my Mt bike frame welded as I found 2 cracks…one went half-way around the seat-tube just above the BB weld, and the other on the upper shock mount (neither of which I believe had anything to do w/when I was hit by a bull a few months back and lost my beautiful set of tubeless XTR wheels). My poor Mt bike is definitely on it’s last legs…and sadly, when I DO finally replace it, will have to find a new home that’s NOT in my house/garage.
Comment by MattC | 07.8.2015 | 3:15 pm
Also, I agree it will be either a trip to Kenya with WBR to help give-away the bikes, OR it will be a trip to France or Italy to ride bikes with Andy Freaking Hampsten.
Comment by Mayhemnsuz | 07.8.2015 | 3:17 pm
Love this post. Also – I offer a home to any orphan left hand gloves in the womens M/L mens S/M range. I only wear a glove on my left hand as any short finger glove on my right hand makes it go numb in strange ways.
Comment by leroy | 07.8.2015 | 3:22 pm
Wait. Your dog does what?
Comment by GenghisKhan | 07.8.2015 | 3:29 pm
http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/mario-batali/butter-and-sage-sauce-recipe.html
Comment by davidh-Marin,ca | 07.8.2015 | 3:34 pm
You heard it right Leroy. By the time the sock ‘reappears’ that 80lb Golden Doodle has been cleaned out like some exotic Malibu Cleansing Center. Properly washed it good to go, if slightly longer.
Comment by Katie Bolling | 07.8.2015 | 3:59 pm
@wife #1
NO Fundraising would be required! You’ve all earned your WBR badges of honor for life! He’s more than welcome if he’d like to just be part of it for the fun:)
Comment by davidh-Marin,ca | 07.8.2015 | 4:49 pm
Old bike parts need to be conserved, and not fashioned into an art piece. When Mike and Frank come by to ‘pick’ I want to be ready.
Comment by Anonymous | 07.8.2015 | 7:40 pm
@Wife #1
Totally awesome post. And so dead on. I ride too. At one time I was just as serious as the husband, if not more so. But do I collect bike crap like he does? Nooo! And does he collect things that are easy to store like bike jerseys and water bottles? Oh heck no. He is obsessed with wheels. We have wheels hanging from every available spot in the basement. In the early days of our marraige, he even tried to plunder my bikes for wheels. I’d be all ready to ride, go for one of my bikes and it would be missing a wheel. What the…!? I put a stop to that.
But can we get rid of those time trial wheels that were high tech back in 1979 and I used once 20 years ago? Oh no, he might need them. Can we get rid of that set of track training wheels that are essentially pieces of junk – not to mention we sold off our track bikes 7 years ago and live 2.5 hours from the nearest track? Perish the thought.
I’ll stop now. I’m feeling the urge to start cleaning out the basement.
Comment by Kristy in MD | 07.8.2015 | 7:41 pm
Prize speculation – a grand slam tour for a grand slam event. I pick the Amgen ToC,TDF, and PBP. That would bethe most awesome prize ever.
Comment by Wife#1 | 07.8.2015 | 8:00 pm
@anonymous
I love you.
Just sayin’.
Comment by Amy Thompson | 07.8.2015 | 9:50 pm
If the prize is a trip for two to Africa to deliver bikes, I will start donating to Fatty instead of our WBR page. That would be amazing! I just need it to happen when I’m not in school.
Comment by Leigh Anne | 07.8.2015 | 9:50 pm
If it makes you feel better I threw out a bottle today. First one in 10 years, and only because I left if half full and it grew some black fuzzy stuff. I still have the 10 jerseys and wear only 3
Comment by Corrine | 07.8.2015 | 10:10 pm
Allison, I love your post and I love Fatty’s rebuttals. You need to write more!! Neither my husband or I collect too much (although I do have a pair of inline skates from the 80’s that I haven’t gotten rid of because maybe I might want to use them one day). What I hate is when my husband decides to reorganize without consulting me. Then I can’t find anything!!!
Comment by Fred | 07.8.2015 | 10:23 pm
Guilty of most of this… I don’t suffer from orphan gloves/socks. I guess you need a dog for that.
My collection of defunct bike parts has expanded into my cube at work. You never know when you’ll need a worn out set of brake calipers, a chain, or a 12-25 cassette at work. That stuff will eventually be reunited with my other defunct bike parts.
Hang on to the water bottles. I’ve actually found uses for 3 of them. 1) Liquid Laundry detergent (please label appropriately) 2) Bar/Chain oil for your chainsaw (drip-free dispensing into that tiny oil tank on the saw) 3) Perfect dispenser for distilled water for your boat batteries.
I only need to find about 20 more uses to reach equilibrium.
Prize package has Trek Travel written all over it.
Comment by Jo Ann | 07.9.2015 | 6:25 am
Guilty of all of the above–but I’m not a boy. I just like “stuff”.
Comment by TimD | 07.9.2015 | 7:03 am
The orphan sock problem largely goes away if you follow my neice’s approach to socks. Pairs are created on the spot using a simple strategy of categorising. Two socks with stripes are pairs, regardless of the colour or width of the strip. Two socks with animals on are a pair, regardless of the animals or background colour. Same applies to spots, patterns etc. Before anyone asks, there is no room for plain, single colour socks in her wardrobe
Comment by Brian in VA | 07.9.2015 | 7:09 am
@wife#1 Thanks for a great post!
Comment by Tom in Albany | 07.9.2015 | 8:53 am
Great post!!
My guess for the next announcement is a trip to next year’s TdF where you ride some mountains somewhere – probably in France but, perhaps in Italy or Switzerland…
Comment by Doug C | 07.9.2015 | 9:05 am
@Wife#1
I am not sure by the picture, but I think I rode to the top of Columbine with your husband at the training camp, not that it is very relevant to your story.
I think I am going to have to agree with Fatty (and your husband). As soon as you get rid of anything, there is going to be a DIRE need for that one item, so you have to save it all, just in case. And what you may view as chaos, is perfectly organized for us. My wife tries to help “organize” things, and I spend the next 3 hours looking for something that she “put away”. Where we have it is organized. Could it be better? Maybe, but at least we know where everything is at.
Now excuse me while I go try to find my missing arm warmer….
Comment by Linda in MD | 07.9.2015 | 9:05 am
Hilarious post from Wife #1. I’m guessing the mystery prize is a one on one ride with either the President or the Pope when he visits the US later this year. Perhaps both! It’s very exciting to think that the goal of 1,000 bikes will be met. I’m checking the donation page almost obsessively. Great job!
Comment by Doug (Way Upstate NY) | 07.9.2015 | 11:03 am
@DavidH – I have the bottles for your extra tops. In my house, my kids chew the tops off my bottles…….
Comment by davidh-Marin,ca | 07.9.2015 | 11:17 am
@Doug C
Guilty as charged. We were the last two who continued up the mountain “…to see what we could see” (not much given the rain, fog, and hail) A pleasure to ride with you, and for both of us to get down safely.
@Linda in MD
‘Oxford comma’
@wife#1
Love you
Packing this morning I find I have about 10 jerseys with me. I can’t agine there were THAT MANY left to cause an issue.
Comment by davidh-Marin,ca | 07.9.2015 | 11:21 am
@Doug way upstate…..
I can explain the ‘why’ of dog and socks. I await the ‘why’ of kids and bottle caps.
Comment by Special K | 07.9.2015 | 11:27 am
As Fatty said: it could be worse. Besides all the bike stuff, my home has become a repository for anything that was going to be thrown away at my husband’s workplace. Yesterday he brought home a fried chicken bucket full of large screws.
Comment by davidh-Marin,ca | 07.9.2015 | 11:42 am
@special k
Phillips or flat?
Comment by MattC | 07.9.2015 | 12:43 pm
@Special K: any self-tapping? That has to be one of the greatest inventions EVER when you’re working with metal! (and DavidH: flat SUCKS! That is something I will actually THROW OUT! Phillips or Torx is the answer!)
Comment by Anon | 07.9.2015 | 12:59 pm
@TimD
Awesome strategy by your niece!
No, not because I’m invested at all since I have the exact same approach to my socks! And I’m an adult! I think!
And if you catch me wearing actual matching socks, you pretty much know that the world has to be ending!
Comment by Will Benton | 07.9.2015 | 1:35 pm
I discovered early on if I wanted something for me for my cycling addiction I first got the equivalent of said product for my wife first. Then a week or so later I get said product for myself. Now we have more money wrapped up in cycling then our house is worth. I win right?
My point is it’s not only men who leave piles of bike stuff all over the house, in our house its boy and girl piles.
“Just tell the guy at the hardware store that you want something that will cut through a bank vault.”
Almost pissed my pants Fatty…….
One last note…. My wife actually suggested hanging some of our bikes in our rec room for décor!
Never letting that woman go!
As always Fatty excellent stuff…
Poon
Comment by Special K | 07.9.2015 | 8:32 pm
@davidh-Marin,ca and @MattC, my husband informs me they were large lag screws. Whatever that means
Comment by MattC | 07.10.2015 | 8:29 am
@Special K…ahh…lag bolts. Indeed they are important (when you need them) and worth saving. I have quite a selection of ‘random’ hardware in a totally-full shoebox that I pawn thru occasionally, looking for that particular item that will suffice for the job at hand.
And speaking of lag-bolts, at work we used to mess w/ each others bikes occasionally pre-ride (move the brakes so one pad is rubbing the entire ride, let about 30psi out of a tire, stuff like that). My friend had got me w/ the rubbing brakes, so for payback I filled his bento-bag with lag-bolts (a good 3 lbs worth)…and he didn’t notice it, so at the top of our big climb I asked him for one of the bolts he was carrying cuz I needed one (didn’t really need one of course, just wanted him to see them). He had no idea what I was talking about, so I told him “you know…the ones in your bag”…the look on his speechless face was quite priceless! The other 2 guys almost fell off their bikes with laughter…and of course, I ended up carrying the bolts back in my jersey pockets…but it was totally worth it (some lesser mortals would have thrown them out rather than carry them back, but like your husband, I knew they were worth saving).
Comment by Wife#1 | 07.10.2015 | 10:36 am
@TimD and Anon … wait, not everyone does this with their socks already?
@specialK … a fried chicken bucket of screws brought home from work. If anything is “lagging”, it’s your hubby giving you a well-deserved spa weekend! If that bucket gets knocked over, I say grab the shop vac and dispose of the evidence stat. Side note: mmmm…fried chicken.
@DougC… good to know my husband was actually where he was supposed to be. Thanks for the independent verification that he was not shacked up with a bunch of cycling stuff sales reps for the week!
@mayhemsuz.. on it, I will start setting aside those specific gloves for you!
@WillBenton… yes, you win. Unless you actually need to sell your house. Then, good luck with the packing.
@MattC… how are the bio bibs coming along? I feel sure if you can nail those babies, then the resources will flow in you for to buy ALL new bikes! Or you could win one in this contest. OR BOTH!
As is often the case on Fatty’s blog, the comments from readers are so much funnier than the original post itself.
Oh. Wait. I don’t think that came out quite right. ;-)
Have a great weekend everyone, especially those of you riding Crusher in the Tushar tomorrow. Is it too late to Fedex FC a bunch of orphan gloves (the ones not going to mayhemsuz anyway)?
Comment by Doug (Way Upstate NY) | 07.10.2015 | 12:19 pm
@DavidH…. One of my kids has a nervous habit picking at things. That translates to him leaving the water bottle “spout” in his mouth and chewing. So off they come. I had to move my bottles out of public circulation to preserve the tops.
Comment by MattC | 07.10.2015 | 12:47 pm
@Wife#1…thus far the “Bio-Bibs” (for all future reference, we’ll just call them “BB’s”) are “bio” only in their ability to grow funky things after use. Some work is still required.
Go ahead and say it…
eeeeewwwwww!
Comment by MattC | 07.10.2015 | 2:53 pm
I think there might be a business opportunity to start collecting all the orphan socks and gloves, and then start making Hawaiian style “leis” out of them to give as prizes at cycling events (in lieu of trophy’s or buckles and such). It’s just a thought. Although I’ll say it up-front: I don’t want any of Davidh’s.
Comment by spin_echo | 07.10.2015 | 3:18 pm
trip to rio to see olympic cycling?
Comment by MikeL | 07.10.2015 | 8:07 pm
I am betting that it is an invite to Fatty and Hammer’s house for an all you can eat Bratfest.
Comment by Mike K. | 07.11.2015 | 9:19 pm
Could it be a spot riding with Jens Voigt and the Trek Factory Racing Team across the great state of Wisconsin???
Comment by PNP | 07.13.2015 | 1:51 pm
Am I the only one who’s noticed that Fatty seems to have gone missing?
Comment by davidh-Marin,ca | 07.13.2015 | 1:59 pm
@PNP
Fatty was ripping the course at The Crushar this past weekend. I expect we’ll have another race report this weekend, with pictures. I assure you, you will want to chase him next year, just like me!
Comment by PNP | 07.13.2015 | 3:01 pm
@davidh
Thanks! It’s really sad how I start to feel despondent when he goes more than a couple of days without a new post.
Note to self: get a life. :-)
Comment by spaceyace | 07.14.2015 | 11:01 am
My husband told me there is no more room (on the living room wall, in the dining room, in the hallway, on the patio) in our small second-floor apartment for another bicycle. “If you bring home another bicycle, I’m moving out!”
So, at our local annual fundraiser bike swap, I purchased a unicycle.
Comment by Philly BG | 07.14.2015 | 2:22 pm
Do you think he’s been abducted? Should we alert the authorities?