Matt is one of the Team Fatty Co-Captains, and of the very nicest people you could ever meet.
He’s also, secretly, totally evil.
A Gift in the Mail
Last Friday I got an unexpected box in the mail. Curious, I opened it up.
Inside was a dozen white-chocolate macadamia nut cookies. Which are, by the way, my favorite kind of cookie.
Along with those cookies was a card. Here’s the cover:
And here’s the inside:
I am not exactly proud to say that the dozen cookies did not last the hour, but I am grateful there is no photographic evidence of me eating said dozen cookies in one sitting.
Luckily, this was the day before the Ogden marathon, and I was eating nonstop in preparation for it anyway.
So I credit Matt (partially) with my surprisingly good result in Ogden, but — as of this morning, anyway — it’s not looking like his little trick is gonna win him my Superfly 100.
Why?
Because with one week before the final weigh in, I’m sub-160 today. 159.6, to be exact (my daily weight on the sidebar of my blog will show 160 because by the rules I have set for myself I must round up to the next pound).
Which means I’ve got 1.6 pounds to lose over the next week. Which I’m pretty sure I can do.
Yesterday, I posted a very long blog post. It was so long, in fact, that it was very nearly 60% as long as a blog post Bike Snob NYC might post five times per week.
I confess to being quite proud of that post, and the fact that I was able to go on for seemingly ever about a mundane topic, without including a single legitimate fact.
That post, I am sad to say, garnered a whopping 26 comments. And since I regard my comments as a sort of metaphorical tip jar, I couldn’t help but wonder what the problem is.
These are my theories:
It was so long that by the time people finished reading it, they did not have time to comment
It was so long that people didn’t have time to finish reading it
It was so weird that people didn’t have any idea of what to say after reading it
It was so weird that people didn’t finish reading it
It just wasn’t that funny to a lot of people
Seriously, I want to know: what did you think of yesterday’s post? Good? Bad? Stupid? The fact is, I write this blog because I want it to be read (I’m not one of those writers who is compelled to write and doesn’t care whether he ever finds an audience). If you didn’t like something, I want to know why.
Six years into this blog and I’m still learning. So that’s good.
Weighty Matters
Today, I weigh 163 pounds (that’s rounding up, not down, by the way). Which means I’m five pounds away from the 158 pounds I need to be at by June 3 in order to keep my Superfly 100. At this point, I have confidence I can do it.
How am I doing it? Well, in two words: egg whites.
In slightly more than two words: around 20 egg whites per day. That’s a lot of protein.
And I’m basically off carbs except for right before and during long rides.
Weird, but it’s working. Good thing I like egg whites.
LiveStrong Davis
I haven’t talked much about Team Fatty and our plans for this year’s inaugural Davis LiveStrong Challenge.
That’s about to change.
If I were you, I’d join Team Fatty and make plans to be in Davis, if possible. And if not possible, you’ll still be glad you joined, because you will have been a part of the team that is going to raise a ton of money in the fight against cancer, not to mention kick every other team’s butt (sorry, other teams!).
If I don’t get down to 158 pounds by June 3, I will give this bike — and the extremely nice (and pricey) Bontrager XXX carbon fiber wheels that I bought for this bike — away.
All told, that’s around $6600-worth of bike (size 17.5″), all brand-spanking new.
Sadly for me — and fortunately for anyone who has donated at my LiveStrong Challenge page — my weight loss has not gone all that spectacularly. Here were my original “weight loss trajectory” goals:
May 10 (1 week): 166 pounds (4 pounds lost)
May 17 (2 weeks) 163 pounds (3 pounds lost)
May 24 (3 weeks) 161 pounds (2 pounds lost)
May 31 (4 weeks) 159 pounds (2 pounds lost)
June 3 (final) 158 pounds (1 pound lost)
This seemed like an achievable goal, and I set about achieving that achievable goal with alacrity and no small amount of vim. And maybe even a little vigor.
Well.
The sidebar to this blog tells the tale, but suffice it to say that things haven’t gone quite as well as planned. Which is to say, as of yesterday — by which time I should have lost those “easy” first four pounds, I had lost . . . ummm . . . nothing.
In point of fact, as of yesterday, I had gained a net of 0.4 pounds since the beginning weigh-in.
Things do not bode well for me.
My Misfortune is Your Fortune, Plus You’ll Be Joining the Fight Against Cancer
To be fair, my weight today is 168, but I kinda think that’s mostly due to the fact that I rode my rollers for about 90 minutes yesterday without taking a drink, and then never sufficiently rehydrated (I wasn’t intentionally avoiding drinking, it’s just that Firefly is so good that I forgot to drink anything.
So. Here’s my new weight-loss timeline:
May 17 (2 weeks) 166 pounds (4 pounds lost)
May 24 (3 weeks) 162 pounds (4 pounds lost)
May 31 (4 weeks) 159 pounds (3 pounds lost)
June 3 (final) 158 pounds (1 pound lost)
Ambitious, yes? Perhaps a little too ambitious? Honestly, I hope not, and I have started taking this diet thing a lot more seriously, because I have a lot to lose in very little time.
Meanwhile, there’s no reason, if I fail, that you shouldn’t benefit from my failure while also helping LiveStrong in the fight against cancer.
You can read the details here, but the basics are easy: Go to my LiveStrong Challenge page and donate some amount of money, in multiples of $5.00. For each $5.00 you donate, you’ll automatically get a number in my magical Excel spreadsheet. Then, if I don’t get to 158 pounds by my June 3 weigh-in (and I don’t get to cheat by using dehydration or other tactics, and I don’t get to round down, so my weight has to be 158.0 or lower), I’ll choose a number at random (using random.org to pick the number), and that person wins the bike and the wheels.
And I pay for shipping. (But if you’re outside the US, you pay for customs.)
Oh, and for those of you who feel bad about the idea of taking a bike from me, consider this: At this point, unless I manage to lose the weight, someone is going to get the bike. It may as well be you, right?
And more to the point, whether you win or not, you’re helping in the fight against cancer. So even though you’re betting against me, you’re doing so in the name of the cause that matters most to me. So we’re still friends, even if you get my bike.
In fact, we’ll be friends especially if you get my bike, cuz I’ll probably want to come over and borrow it sometimes.
So. Donate now. And wish me luck as I try to (finally) lose this weight!
A “Last Chance and a New Cause to Register” Note from Fatty:A few days ago, I told Johan Bruyneel he ought to do the 100 Miles of Nowhere with Team Fatty. He was interested, so I closed the deal by suggesting he could do it for a cause near and dear to his heart: what if he did the 100 Miles of Nowhere, but with the proceeds of his ride going to a cause he’s passionate about:World Bicycle Relief?
And what if, furthermore, I opened registration for the 100 Miles of Nowhere for one more day, so his friends and fans could sign up as well?
I proposed this because I’ve been thinking about World Bicycle Relief (WBR) a lot lately; the way a bicycle — something I love — canimmediatelyimprove the life of someone is just amazing. And I love the mission of WBR: to give away 50,000 bikes. That’s 50,000 lives improved, in a big way.
So of course Johan said yes.
So, for today and tomorrow (registration closes at 6pm ET on Thursday)only, I’m opening up registration for the 100 Miles of Nowhere (men register here;women register here). All proceeds from registrations today and tomorrow go to WBR.
Doesn’t make much sense to you? Well it shouldn’t.
So when The Fat Cyclist aka Fatty asked me to join him, I needed some explanation. The brief story is that Fatty has an international following – from his home in Utah to the other 49 states to countries to the North, South, East and West (and if you don’t believe me, he has the web metrics to prove it).
A few years ago, Fatty wanted to put on a ride benefiting LIVESTRONG where people from all over the world could participate. But with Fatty fans scattered throughout the world, that would be nearly impossible. So he created “100 Miles of Nowhere” allowing participants to “come together” and ride 100 miles from their own home on the rollers, trainer, or a very small course (like around the block or up and down a hill). Sounds very “Fatty like,” right? That’s what I thought too.
On a side note – I think … No actually … I’m certain the last time I did 100 miles on the rollers was when I was a professional rider … And I did that because it was my job!
Now since I like Fatty and he’s got one of the biggest hearts I’ve met, I agreed to suffer with everyone else. Fatty then suggested that since I agreed to participate that we should do a registration spin-off benefiting World Bicycle Relief. The only thing he wasn’t too sure of was if he could get more event t-shirts and race plates for the incoming number of registrants.
I’ve heard people say “Fatty for President” in the past and let me tell you, Fatty doesn’t disappoint. He managed to get Twin Six to donate and make even more event t-shirts! Bike Monkey agreed to the same for the race plates.
Which means that Fatty is reopening registration (last chance!) from Wednesday, May 4, 11:00 AM ET USA to Thursday, May 5 6:00 PM ET USA with all net proceeds from the $80 registration fee going to the Bicycle Education Empowerment Program (BEEP) of World Bicycle Relief.
And if you don’t know about WBR and BEEP, watch this video of my trip last year to Zambia.
So now my challenge to YOU!
Will you join me and Fatty for “100 Miles of Nowhere”?
How many World Bicycle Relief bikes can we put in the hands of school boys and girls in Zambia??
How many lives can we change forever?
WBR just announced that in March they gave their 10,000th WBR bike to a school child in Zambia. Amazing! But the goal is 50,000 WBR bikes to school children so there’s A LOT more work to be done.
Now I realize that everyone needs motivation to ride 100 miles on the rollers. (Does anyone really enjoy it?!?!?) So for those that register by Thursday, May 5, 6:00 PM ET USA, you’ll be entered into a random raffle drawing to win a Team RadioShack signed jersey by the riders of the 2011 Giro d’Italia squad. (Giro d’Italia squad)
Fill out all the information and pay the $80 registration fee. Twin Six will then send you the t-shirt and race plate (YES – they will ship internationally) and the proceeds will go directly to providing World Bicycle Relief bikes to school children in Zambia.
And once you’ve done all that, tell your friends on Facebook and Twitter (we’ve made it easy for you).
THANK YOU and let’s make “100 Miles of Nowhere” lead to Zambia!!
Johan Bruyneel
PLEASE NOTE:
“100 Miles of Nowhere” is a Fatty owned event, which means he makes the rules …. So straight from the owner, race director, commissaire, himself:
- The “official” date of the race is Saturday, June 4.
- And, thanks to the flexibility of the event — i.e., it’s just you, really — if June doesn’t work for you, you can do it another day.
- And also, the “100 Miles” part is more of a guideline than a rule. For example, if you would rather ride 50 miles, that’s fine with me. So is 25.
- Or if you’re a runner and you want to do a marathon on the treadmill, that would be awesome. If you’re a swimmer, swim five miles. I’m not picky.
- And of course, the very best thing about the 100 Miles of Nowhere is that you are going to win your division. You just need to make sure your division is specific enough that there’s no chance anyone else is in it.
By the way, I don’t see anything about radios, so I guess they are allowed!!
Back in December, I made a serious effort at getting into the 160s, by doing a contest where a whole bunch of us tried to lose ten pounds by Christmas.
It didn’t work. Not for me, anyway.
So, in January, I tried another motivational trick: I bought myself the mountain bike I’ve really, really been wanting to ride and race this year: The Gary Fisher Trek Superfly 100, but with the provision that I would not build that bike until I got to my racing weight (158 pounds). (Go ahead, click that picture to the right to see the larger version of the bike. It’s beautiful.)
So far, that hasn’t worked. As of this morning, I still weigh 170.4 pounds.
Honestly, I am getting desperate. Race season is close, and the bike I’m ridiculously excited about remains in a box.
So, today, I’m going to do something extreme. Specifically, I’m going to take that carrot I got for myself (the Superfly 100), and add a little stick. And a deadlilne. Namely, if I don’t get down to 158 pounds one month from today (June 3, the day before my extremely climby racing of the 100 Miles of Nowhere), I am going to give this bike away to someone.
Here, I’ll say it again, in large, bold, red, italicized text, just to drive home the point and attract the attention of people who might have skimmed over that previous paragraph:
If I don’t get down to 158 pounds by June 3, I am going to give my brand new, never-been-built, valued-at-$4929 Superfly 100 to some lucky winner. (17.5″ size, just in case you’re wondering)
Oh, and just to give me an extra little incentive, I’m going to throw in the (also brand new) wheels I’ve bought to upgrade this bike, which I am now going to switch back into big red bold italics, so I can be as shrill as possible about what I am potentially doing to myself:
If I don’t get down to 158 pounds by June 3, I will also give away my brand-new Bontrager XXX Lite TLR Disc 29s ($850 per wheel, for a total of $1700) as part of the Superfly 100. Which means this bike has a value of $6629.
Yes, that’s right. This isn’t Trek giving away a bike. I haven’t found a sponsor who is going to do this for me. This is me, the guy who makes about enough writing this blog that it almost-but-not-quite pays as much as getting a second job at a fast food restaurant.
I have one month to lose 12 pounds. Or I’m giving this bike — the full suspension bike I would rather have than any other mountain bike on the market right now — away.
Here’s how you can be part of the action.
The Rules
If I don’t get down to 158 pounds by my morning weigh-in of June 3, I will give my still-undridden Superfly 100 to a person who has donated at my LiveStrong Challenge page. Every $5.00 you donate buys you a row on my spreadsheet, and I’ll pick a row from that spreadsheet at random on June 3.
If, however, I do get to 158 pounds by June 3, I keep the bike and the wheels. And of course, LiveStrong keeps the money you donated.
So there’s a little bit of a risk here for you. It’s not a bad risk in any case, because — even if I manage to lose the weight — you’re still donating money to help LiveStrong in its critical mission of helping those who are fighting cancer.
I will ship this bike to anywhere, inside the US or out. Although if you’re outside the US, paying the Customs is your problem. Fair enough? Yeah, I kinda thought so.
Oh, and here’s a rule for me: I’m not allowed to cheat by using sudden-death dehydration techniques, whereby I lose a big chunk of weight on the last day of the contest by riding for six hours without a drink. I’ve got to lose the weight honestly. Toward that end, from now until June 3, I will report my weight daily.
So. I’ve got one month to lose 12 pounds. More to the point, I’ve got one month to lose the same 12 pounds I’ve been wanting to — and failing to — lose for the past five months. Do me a favor by really holding my feet to the fire now. Donate some money and maybe you’ll get an extraordinary mountain bike out of the deal. Or, maybe you’ll see me get to keep my bike and know that you were part of why I (finally) got down to racing weight.
Oh, and just to give me an extra little incentive, I’m going to throw in the (also brand new) wheels I’ve bought to upgrade this bike, which I am now going to switch back into big red bold italics, so I can be as shrill as possible about what I am potentially doing to myself: