02.16.2009 | 12:08 pm
Hey, let’s kick today’s post off with an awesome piece of news.
If we raise $5000 on Bob Roll’s LiveStrong Challenge page by the end of the Tour of California, Bob will shave his head.
Click here to donate, or read on for details.
Here’s How It Happened
I talked to Chuck Ibis (Scot Nicol of Ibis, the guy who made it possible for us to give away the Silk Carbon SL last year) a couple of days ago and told him that Bob Roll needs to shave his head — get rid of that fluff on top.
“Give him a reason to,” said Chuck.
So I said, “How about this. We’ll set him up a LiveStrong Challenge page (on Team Fat Cyclist: Fighting for Susan of course). If we raise $5,000 on his page before the end of the Tour of California, Bob shaves his head.
Scot ran the idea by Bob. Bob didn’t bat an eye. He’s in.
So, yes, as of right now, Bob Roll is a member of Team Fatty (which, I’d like to point out, is currently the top fundraising team in all four event cities).
Let’s get to $5,000 today, so we can get that head shaved ASAP.
Bonus: Scot is looking into the possibility of having Bob (and maybe Phil and Paul) mentioning this challenge on the air. And if we see Bob — cleanshaven — doing one of his interviews, well, that’s worth a donation right there, right?
Click here to go donate right now.
Late Night Update
Some pretty exciting stuff has happened since I originally posted this, so I thought I’d give you an update.
- As of 11:55pm ET, we’ve raised $2183. We’re almost halfway there!
- A number of people have linked to this post via Twitter, including Lance and Doug Ulman, CEO of LiveStrong. Very, very cool. I guess I’m not the only one who likes the idea of Bob shaving his head.
- BikeRadar has a story up about this, too. Thanks, BikeRadar!
You should know that Scot is talking with folks about Bob (and others?) doing something on-screen if we can make this happen. He’s also talking about there being some not-for-sale, can’t-get-it-no-matter-how-bad-you-want-it prizes to be awarded to random contributors. Scot’s sworn me to secrecy until he gets things firmed up, but you’ll have to trust me that it’s worth donating a few bucks.
And not just because you’ll have the pleasure of knowing that part of why Bob’s head is shaved is because of you.
And Now, The Tour of California LiveBlog: Stage 2, Sausalito – Santa Cruz
10:29 Infomercial for Humana. I wonder how much it costs to buy an infomercial. I want an informercial.
10:31 While Phil and Paul recap, I’d like to call attention to something Paula in Boston pointed out. If you take a look at this CyclingNews photo of Mancebo crossing the finish line yesterday, you can quite clearly see that the word “DEAD” is written across his crotch.
Paula wants to know, “Why does Mancebo have the word “DEAD” written against his crotch?”
The answer, Paula, can be found on Rock Racing’s new home page. It proclaims “ROCKS NOT DEAD.” Which makes me wonder why they think that rocks were ever alive.
Regardless, when a rider wears a jacket, the “ROCKS NOT” gets covered up, and the entirely different message — that Mancebo’s crotch is dead — is revealed.
10:38 I’m so pleased that we jumped straight into the racing today.
10:39 Commenter Hat wants to know, whether Bob Roll will shave just the fin or the whole head. All I’m asking for at this time is the fin up top. Once we get to $5000, perhaps we can set a new goal, in exchange for which he shaves his whole head.
10:41 I’ve got to say, it’s pretty awesome to see guys racing across the Golden Gate Bridge.
Kind of fitting that it’s rainy and foggy.
10:47 I just got off the phone with Chuck, and he’s got some great prizes in mind for people who donate. Stuff that can’t be bought anywhere and that any cyclist would kill for. And no, it’s not donated by Amgen.
I’ll reveal what the prizes are as soon as Chuck’s got things finalized. For now, I will just say that you definitely will want to donate to Bob’s page.
10:50 Rabobank rider is off the front. Impossible to tell who, courtesy of rain on camera lenses.
10:55: Yay, ads.
10:55 So if I understand right, there’s a group about 1:30 off the front. Let me be a crazy, wild-eyed conspiracy theorist for a second and predict that they’ll be caught toward the end of the stage and the sprinters will contest the finish line.
I know. Insane.
10:58 Annnd…ads.
11:01: First bonus coming up. 10 guys up front.
Annnd… Nierman gets the sprint.
Who is Nierman?
11:04: According to CyclingNews’ liveblog (because I am far, far too lazy to type the names myself), the guys up front are: Jason Mccartney (Team Saxo Bank), Steven Cozza, Thomas Peterson (Garmin – Slipstream), Carlos Barredo (Quick Step), Stef Clement, Grischa Niermann (Rabobank), Markus Zberg (BMC Racing Team), Cameron Evans (OUCH p/b Maxxis), Ben Jacques-Maynes (Bissell Pro Cycling), Valeriy Kobzarenko (Team Type 1).
11:06 Phil and Paul see this breakaway as having a good chance of making it. I dunno, though. Two longish (but easy) climbs coming up. Can they really ride at the same rate as each other for two big climbs.
11:09 The gap is up to 2:40.
11:11 Phil and Paul just went over the GC standings. I’m not a big fan of the way the final 2 laps around town yesterday didn’t count, making it so that Leipheimer, Zabriskie, and Armstrong retain their standings.
11:12: Any chance there’ll be any sun at all during this tour?
11:13 Listening to Phil explain to Hummer how stage racing works. I have to say, Phil does a beautiful job. Phil and Paul are simply fun to listen to. Don’t know how they do it.
11:15: Ad time.
11:19 Lead group now out in front with 3 minutes.
11:21 Rock Racing is riding up front of the peloton. As the camera in front of them points back, you can see that they all have DEAD crotches.
11:22 Oh no, everyone’s picking up musettes. Armstrong had better watch out: you never know when one of those things might attack.
11:23 Paul’s talking about “racing capes.” He means jackets, right? Am I allowed to start calling my jackets “capes,” now?
Even better, am I allowed to wear an actual cape when I ride?
11:25 The lead group is now 3:30ish ahead of the peloton. And the peloton’s all like “OK, fine. Just go.”
11:26 And then the lead group is all like, “OK, we’re going.”
11:27 And so the peloton’s saying, “So, go then.”
11:28 And the chase group says, “OK, I’m gone.”
11:29 And then the ads say, “Hey, it’s our turn!”
11:30 Hat suggests, “Maybe that “dead” is some sort of odd sales pitch for Enzite.” Brilliant!
Do you suppose that guy who plays “Bob” in those commercials gets stopped on the street often, asked for his photograph doing that smile?
11:31 Craig Hummer hopes I’m enjoying the Vs coverage this Presidents’ day. Thanks, Craig. I am enjoying it.
11:32 The road actually looks dry. The riders have got to love that. How spooky would it be to ride at race pace with such a large group on wet slick roads for days on end.
11:34 The road the lead group is climbing totally looks like the roads I used to climb back in Washington. Big trees, lots of green everywhere. Man, sometimes I miss WA.
11:35 Roads are wet again. Lotsa leaves on the road. Those, I can promise you, are slick. If you hit one of those as you’re doing a standing climb, you can zzzzip your tires and down you go.
11:37 I believe Craig Hummer frequently starts his sentences without knowing how they’re going to end.
11:38 Either it’s really dark out or someone needs to reset his white balance.
11:41 Peloton’s starting to break up. Hamilton’s pulling hard, and riders are remembering that this nice kid can be as mean as hell when he’s riding.
11:45 So this climb is pretty mild — 1500 feet of climbing over 6 miles.
11:46 Craig’s looking at the waves and doing what he can to turn the conversation to surfing. Phil pats Craig on the head.
11:51 OK, back from a bathroom break. I know, TMI. What did I miss? Just another Enzyte commercial? OK.
11:52 Speaking of Enzyte commercials, those are definitely the most prevalant ads during this race. Question: why?
11:53 Weirdest Craig Hummer moment so far. He’s rambling, then says, “this reminds me of a song…” and then says nothing at all for about 15 seconds.
He then introduces a clip, where the audio doesn’t match the video and seems like a weird dub in.
Worse, the guy in the clip says, “When you’re a cancer survivor, every day’s a good day.” Which, besides being cliche, is simply not true.
11:56 Just checked Bob Roll’s Team Fatty LiveStrong page: he’s earned $215 so far. A great start!
11:58 Brandy points out that in addition to DEAD CROTCHES, Rock Racing has some very angry knickers. Check out the photo: http://tinyurl.com/bgknzk.
12:00 The VS comedian girl was just on, with her pretending to pick up on a racer as he rode on his rollers. The thing is, the audio and video were off, so it looked like the racer had the female comedian’s voice. It was peculiar, but still not funny. Keep trying, Vs comedian girl!
12:02 Vs has lost picture again — for the same reason the picture was gone for half of yesterday’s race.
12:03 Bob’s asking Jim Birrell about why they neutralized the circuits. It was for the safety of the riders, says Jim.
Hey, that’s what helmets are for, man.
12:04 In the absence of cameras being able to broadcast, we now see Paul, Phil, and Craig Hummer standing, talking, and desperately recapping.
Craig needs to iron his shirt
12:05 Congratulations to KanyonKris for hitting his LiveStrong Leg Shaving Challenge goal: $667. Check out his blog for hilarious photos.
12:08 Rain is predicted for pretty much the entire tour. I asked Chuck last night whether we can expect camera signal loss like this a lot. He sayd, “Yes.”
In other words, the announcers have considerable tap-dancing ahead of them for the next several days.
12:10 Just in case you’re tangentially interested in the race itself, (Vs not currently talking about what’s happening on the course), CyclingNews reports the peloton is 4:05 behind the lead group.
12:12 Johan’s Twitter feed has been strangely silent for the past hour. His last post is just that “There are no race favorites in the breakaway.” Meaning that as far as he’s concerned, they’re welcome to go on ahead?
12:15 Question: If Bob Roll were going to mispronounce “Tour of California” a la Tour DAY France, what would it sound like?
12:18 I am no longer announcing whenever it’s ad time, because they have successfully beat me down.
But yes, it’s ad time.
12:19 You know, I need to admit that I would probably do a terrible job of announcing when there’s nothing to announce. Probably worse than Hummer.
12:21 Roll interviews Armstrong. Between the LiveStrong helmet, LiveStrong jacket, LiveStrong glasses, and Mellow Johnny’s bike hat, it’s not especially easy to tell that Armstrong races for Astana. As in, there is no physical evidence of it on camera.
Not that I’m complaining.
12:25 Ads.
12:26 You know, I am ridiculously sick today. I am not certain that I am making any sense at all.
This set of ads is for hair growth, ITT-Tech, and snake-oil malware remedies. This must have been a really cheap ad block to buy.
12:28 We’ve hit $390 on the “Shave Bob Roll’s Head” challenge today. As a reminder, if we can hit $5000 before the end of the tour, Bob Roll will shave the fin off the top of his head. And there will be other cool prizes for folks who donate — stuff I can’t mention, but which you will definitely want.
12:30 Bob interviews Leipheimer. Leipheimer gives Horner credit for figuring out what to do in yesterday’s stage.
12:31 Dead air for 15 seconds. Everyone wracks their brains. There must be something to say!
12:33 Ads.
12:34 You know it’s too bad we can’t see anything right now, because from what I understand of where the race is right now — a wet downhill with a lot of debris on the road due to wind and rain — there are bound to be a buncha flats and near misses. It’s got to be pretty spooky.
12:36 And we have photos again!
Lead’s down to about 4:30. The lead group is still all together.
No way will the peloton let the lead stay that big, right?
12:38 Is there anyone out there who actually follows pro racing who has a good sense of who the likely winner would be from the lead group?
12:40 Have I really been liveblogging for more than two hours? I wonder if the management knows that I start getting my overtime rate after two hours of liveblogging.
12:42 I’m taking a little break to get Susan something to eat and help her come out into the family room where I’m watching this. Back in a few!
1:22 I’ve moved Susan to the family room, gotten her and me some lunch, and have taken an entire box of DayQuil. So now I’m back, ready for some more semi-coherent, brain-addled liveblogging.
1:23 So what did I miss?
Evidently not much. The same gang of 10 continues to lead.
1:24 Oh, this is choice. Phil just mentioned that ARMSTRONG HAS COLLIDED WITH A MOTORCYCLE and Vs of course interrupts with…an ad.
1:25 Now we’re back, and nobody is talking any longer about Armstrong’s crash. Uh, this seems like something worth bringing up again, felllas?
Gap is about 5 minutes.
1:26 Evidently there was a massive pileup — 15 riders and a parked car. So, two crashes:
- Armstrong hit by a race photographer’s motorcycle, he’s on a spare.
- 15-bike pileup, with one rider winding up under a parked car.
So, let’s celebrate with some ads!
1:29 Seems to me that this crash could be just what the lead group needs to make this breakaway stick.
1:31 If people are crashing on this wide, flat straightway, what’s the big downhill push to the finish going to be like?
1:33 Gap is down to 4:31. Are there any really great climbers in the lead group? How about descenders?
1:34 Or is it that the gap is at 5 minutes? I believe the race radio is being sponsored by www.random.org.
1:37 Ads!
1:40 Let’s play a game of “Craig Hummer Keeps You Hydrated.” Anytime Craig rephrases what Phil or Paul just said, take a drink of water.
Don’t play this game if you’re not close to a toilet.
1:41 Paul doesn’t think the lead group is going to hold. I side with Paul on this one.
But just in case the lead group does survive, who should I be rooting for?
1:43 Hummer recaps what Phil and Paul just mentioned about Lance changing clothes. Drink!
1:45 Armstrong — very briefly — appears in Astana blue. Then he puts his yellow vest on, while riding. If I were to try that, I would crash and die.
1:46 Andy Jacques-Maynes — the Bissell guy who wound up under a car — is on his way to a hospital. Man, that sucks.
1:47 Is that an Astana guy riding with a Camelbak? Are those allowed?
1:50 Ads!
1:52 I just got a UPS package: 2 Mary Bars, sent to me from Thom at Unreal Cycles. Thanks, Thom!
1:54 Susan’s nurse is here. Gotta pay attention to her for a while. Back when she’s gone.
2:20 OK, I’m back. Nurse says things are going well for Susan — oxygen levels are good, a sore Susan’s had on her heel is getting better. I think Susan’s getting my cold, though. Yech.
2:21 Once you’ve walked away from a race, it’s hard to figure out what’s changed.
2:22 Looks like those guys are wishing they hadn’t ditched all their wet weather gear.
2:23 Looks like Leipheimer’s trying to bridge to the lead group, solo? That is a hardcore move.
2:28: Place your bets. Will Leipheimer catch the current stage leader, Barredo? Or is that even the objective?
2:30 Barredo has been rejoined and passed by Peterson and McCartney.
Leipheimer’s caught Barredo.
I am now officially rooting for Leipheimer.
2:32 Paul calls Leipheimer’s move “grandiose.” Sure, let’s go with that.
Leipheimer catches Peterson and McCartney. Peterson hangs on.
2:33 Peterson tells Leipheimer that he can arrange to get Leipheimer an “all you can eat burrito card” if Leipheimer will back off.
Leipheimer considers the deliciousness that is Chipotle.
Oh good, we break away from this incredible race to show the finish lines and some scenic panoramas.
2:35 OK, I want to make something clear. I don’t fault VS for the camera problems they’re having. The weather is making good signal impossible. When they can get a signal, they’re giving great coverage.
And as for the race itself: awesome. Seriously, Mancebo’s victory yesterday, Leipheimer’s wicked (grandiose?) bridge today? Cancellera’s awesome prologue win, following by an abandon?
This is a very dramatic and exciting race. I am really enjoying the Tour of California so far.
2:37 Ads! OK, since I just got all lovey-dovey over VS and their coverage, I suppose I should also allow them to want to make a profit in their business.
Besides, I need to go make (late) lunch for the kids.
2:45 Lunch is made. Twins are fed.
2:46 Peterson is hanging on to Leipheimer. Leipheimer seems to be willing to do all the pulling. Laying it all on the line.
I love blunt-force racing.
2:47 Fattier (nice name) asks, “Fatty, if you had a Tour team, which fast-food restaurant would be the title sponsor? You could find something better than Chipotle I assume…” Well, it would probably be Lone Star Tacqueria, a local place that has the best fish tacos of … well, just about anywhere.
2:50 I’m pretty sure Hummer just said that Leipheimer is “the virtual leader in France.” Is it possible that Craig thinks he’s commentating the TdF right now?
2:51 I dunno. It looks like Leipheimer’s about to ride Peterson off his wheel. Is there a better feeling in the whole world than doing that?
2:52 No, Peterson’s hanging on.
They’re now at the bottom of the descent and in into the home stretch. Leipheimer’s doing all the pulling. He doesn’t care that much about getting the stage, but really — according to me — Peterson is kind of a jerk if he pips Leipheimer at the finish line after Leipheimer did all the work.
I know, that’s not the way things work.
2:53 Question of the moment: If you were Peterson, would you take the stage win after being sucked along by Leipheimer like this? Or would you let it go?
2:57 Or do you think that Leipheimer has the legs to take the stage anyway?
2:58 Suns out and the roads are dry at the finish line.
I’d like to take this moment to acknowledge that my assertion that this race would go to the sprinters was both wrongheaded and stupid.
2:59 There goes Peterson. Leipheimer lets him go.
Chasing group is not more than a minute behind.
3:00 OK, the chasing group is about 1:40 behind. I admit I was wrong yet again.
Mancebo was far enough behind that he’ll lose that jersey to Leipheimer.
3:02 I wonder if, considering the effort he just made to get it, if Leipheimer will be willing to give up the yellow jersey for the rest of the race. The ToC isn’t like the TdF — it’s not weeks and weeks long. If you lose the jersey early in the race, you don’t have weeks to get it back.
3:05 And it’s time for ads.
3:07 Chuck sends in a photo of what it looks like in the editing room:
3:10 Leipheimer gets on stage to pick up the yellow jersey. Yay Levi! He worked for that one.
Leipheimer embarrassedly apologizes to the podium girls for not having shaved his face before getting the customary kiss. Dude’s polite.
3:12 Bob with Levi. Levi says the move wasn’t premeditated. Says it was an “old school Bob Roll move.” Took off because he didn’t want to be cold. Ha.
3:13 Man, I’ve been here forever. Thanks for reading.
Comments (176)
02.3.2009 | 11:54 pm
I’m reluctant to post this entry, because I don’t want to tip my hand. But the fact is I’m at an impasse and figure that the likelihood of somebody winning this thing because they stole my idea(s) is worth the risk, because I need some advice.
What am I talking about? I’m talking about the contest in the current issue of Bicycling Magazine, of course:
Now, I have to say that I found the headline distracting:
The “Eddy Merckx Experience?” This makes me think that the PR firm that wrote the ad copy for this contest has Eddy confused with Jimmy Hendrix. Which is perfectly understandable, unless you know even a tiny little bit about either of them.
Still. Win an Eddy Merckx bike? I’m all over that. So what do I have to do? Well, the ad copy says I need to do this:
I don’t mind telling you that I panicked a little when I saw that I only have 50 words to describe “how riding a bike bearing Eddy’s name and inspired by his legend will empower [me] to channel ‘The Cannibal’s’ greatness and achieve [my] most ambitious cycling goals.” I mean, they’re only giving me 50 words to write an essay that has a subject matter of 27 words.
Yikes!
Being an ambitious-yet-thorough sort, I didn’t want to merely use the ad copy as my guide for my entry. Instead, I chose to be certain I completely understood what I was being asked to do, by carefully reading the rules.
My panic increased.
It turns out that a complete reading of the rules gives an even more daunting picture of what I need to do in those 50 words:
The essay should tell us, in 50 words or less, what cycling-specific ambitions or goals riding an Eddy Merckx brand bicycle will help empower the entrant to achieve and how the entrant will benefit from the signature features and technology of an Eddy Merckx brand bicycle. The winner will be judged by the following criteria: (1) detailed and creative description of an entrant?s cycling goal, (2) description of specific features and technologies offered in an Eddy Merckx brand bicycle that will enable an entrant to make the most of his/her physical talent, (3) description of how Eddy Merckx?s personal success as a professional bicycle racer will inspire or motivate entrant to achieve their goals when they ride a bicycle bearing Eddy Merckx?s name, (4) organization and development of the ideas expressed, with clean and appropriate examples to support them, and (5) consistency in the use of language, variety in sentence structure and range of vocabulary, use of proper grammar, spelling and punctuation.
That’s 162 words, telling me that in my 50 words I need to do each of the following:
- Talk about my cycling ambitions and goals.
- Talk about how the bike will help me achieve those goals.
- Be detailed (!!!) and creative in my description of these ambitions, goals and my accelerated achievement of said goals on aforementioned bike.
- Describe the features / technologies of the bike that will assist in the bike’s facilitation of my achievement of my ambitions and goals.
- Discuss, presumably in some detail, how the legend of Eddy Merckx ties into all this.
- Develop all of the above fully, and with good organization.
- No naughty jokes.
- Don’t stray off-topic in my 50-word essay.
- Be clever and original in my use of language.
- Demonstrate that I own a thesaurus.
- Use commas, periods, nouns and verbs where they’re supposed to be used.
- Run the whole thing through the spell-checker before I fire it off.
I’ve got to say that upon completing my review of this to-do-in-50-words list I briefly blacked out. Then woke up sobbing.
Eventually, though — my jaw set, my visage grim, my nostrils flared — I got to work. I am not happy with my work — yet — but here are my attempts thus far.
The Checklist Approach
My first attempts at writing this essay centered around simply trying to satisfy the requirements set forth in the rules. A representative sample of my 50-word essay using this technique follows:
My cycling ambitions and goals are many-fold (not “manifold,” which is a completely different word with a distinctly different meaning, and would severely alter the meaning of this sentence). First, I would like to win a bike race in my lifetime. Any bike race. I’m not particular about which race, or even about having to sandbag down to a slower category (if there is one) to do it. I just want to be able to say, “I have won a race.” An Eddy Merckx bike would help me achieve this goal by intimidating my competition, hopefully to the extent that they would soil themselves and hence be unable to queue up at the start line. And then I would win.
My second — and more pressing — ambition is to look sassy on a bike. I have purchased several jerseys and bib shorts and a special very aerodynamic-looking helmet that all go very well with the color scheme of the Eddy Merckx bike featured in this contest. If I win the contest, I intend to take this course to its natural conclusion and buy socks and shoes that go with the bike. And then I will look sassy indeed.
My third ambition is to figure out why anybody would ever eat bleu cheese. It smells terrible, looks awful, and tastes nasty. What is it other people find appealing about this nasty substance? I must know. I confess, however, that I do not know how an Eddy Merckx bicycle would help me solve this riddle.
The Eddy Merckx bike is really crucial to my achieving my objectives, because — unlike other bikes — it is a lightweight carbon fiber road bike with racing geometry and high end components. This is totally unique in the world of cycling.
To conclude, I would like to describe how once, Eddy Merckx appeared to me in a dream. He told me that if I ever wanted to win a race, I must be certain that as few people as humanly possible start that race. He told me that I must have confidence. He told me I must look sassy. He told me his bike was exactly what I needed to do all these things. In my dream, Eddy was eating bleu cheese.
Curse you, bleu cheese, for spoiling what was otherwise a very awesome and topical dream!
This is, of course, a perfectly wonderful essay and would almost certainly win, except it’s 392 words long. I tried the trick of hyphenating every word in each sentence, but I knew that the judges would see through this ruse.
Disappointed, I tried another approach.
Appeal to Authority
As many of you know, Eddy Merckx isn’t actively involved in Eddy Merckx bicycles. However, I’m sure his opinion still holds considerable sway with whoever judges this contest.
So I contemplated how I could use these two facts to my advantage. And that’s when it came to me: I’d do a photographic essay, showing how Eddy has already endorsed me as the winner. Behold:
Really, no additional text is necessary, as far as I was concerned. The judges would see that Eddy is my close personal friend and that he has already selected me as the winner. Really, there’s nothing left to do but collect my bike.
And then the rules went and spoiled my party.
Entry Material/Entry cannot contain the image or likeness of or reference in any identifiable way (for example, by first and last name, or by any part of a name that is identifiable) any person other than the entrant, including, but not limited to, any depictions of celebrities, unless a signed release from such person(s) is submitted to Sponsors along with the Entry Material/Entry.
Man, those guys thought of everything.
So I’ve got an email out to Eddy asking for his OK on using this photo, but he hasn’t replied yet. I’m sure he’ll be cool with me using it, but as a plan B I got to working on a fallback plan.
Just Lie
I’m probably the only person this has occurred to, but while the rules are really explicit about what the essay must contain, it doesn’t say (and believe me, I have checked) that the contents of the essay have to be true. So here’s my next attempt.
I am a committed Cat 2 cyclist with dreams of moving into Cat 1 this year. I win more often than not, and when I train, it is always watching an Eddy Merckx video — I am the only person I know who rates “A Sunday in Hell” as his favorite movie of all time.
I want an Eddy Merckx bike because my current bike is a piece of crap. It weighs 24 pounds, which causes me all kinds of difficulty in climbing stages. Eddy Merckx bikes, on the other hand, are the pinnacle of beauty, reliability, and power.
Even more importantly, though, would be the fact that as I ride my Eddy Merckx bike, I will feel like The Cannibal is urging me on, reminding me with every turn of the cranks of what he has accomplished…and what I can accomplish, if I will not break.
I want an Eddy Merckx bike so I can make him proud, if only in my own mind.
This is, of course, pure hogwash. Plus, it’s more than three times as long as is allowed, which gives you an idea of how impossibly brief my actual entry is going to have to be.
You see why I’m discouraged? You see why I’m asking for your advice? This essay contest is difficult. Perhaps it’s even impossible.
But I won’t give up.
Because I know, in my heart of hearts, that The Cannibal wouldn’t.
Comments (55)
02.2.2009 | 12:24 am
One of the unexpected pleasures of running Team Fatty is that I get to write “Congratulations” letters from time to time. They really are fun to write, too. Or, more specifically, it’s fun to think carefully about the language of the email so it doesn’t wind up in the Junk folder. It’s fun to be able to write an email that is pure good news.
And it’s fun to think about that email sitting in someone’s inbox, waiting to turn someone’s normal day into an outrageously good day.
I got to write two of those email messages today.
The Signed, Framed Lance Armstrong Poster Winner: Jacqueline, California
Jackie’s actually new to this blog; she came over after The Pioneer Woman linked over with a story and recipe about Susan and my Grandma’s Cheez Eggs last week.
Being a very cool person, Jackie made a donation to the Lance Armstrong Foundation. And within ten minutes of my having sent her a “congrats” email, she replied with:
I don’t ride but my husband does and he is currently deployed in Iraq. I thought it would be so awesome if I either won the bike or the poster for him.
I was chatting with him online and was telling him bye when I got an email alert and saw the subject “You get the Lance Armstrong Poster.” I told him to hold on as I went to read your email and went back to tell him the great news. He was so excited and stated he was jumping out of his seat.
Again, big congrats to Jackie and her husband — and a giant thanks to Hootie over at Trek for giving up this awesome prize.
The Gary Fisher Superfly Singlespeed Winner: Daniel, New Jersey
Here’s how excited I was about giving away this bike: I couldn’t sleep last night. The idea of giving away a bike exactly like the one I want for myself is pretty compelling.
And a lot of you must have thought this bike is pretty compelling, too. Team Fatty has now raised more than $106,000, $46,000 of which was raised during this raffle.
That is a lot of money.
Now, I know that nobody really thought they had a great chance of winning — you all donated because it’s the right thing to do. The prize is just a cool reason to get off the fence and maybe say to yourself, “Well, what if?”
And after all, someone has to win, right?
And in this case, that someone is Daniel of New Jersey. Here’s what Daniel had to say about himself and winning:
I am a 37 year old energy efficiency consultant who fell in mountain biking in college in central PA, moved to NYC after graduation, and transitioned to a road bike (which I also love) out of necessity. I married my college sweetheart 12 years ago, we are blessed with an almost-three year old daughter, and we are expecting the birth of our son any day now. We moved to NJ 18 months ago and I am so very excited to explore the local trails with this new bike!
I’d say Daniel’s timing is just about right — about the time the Spring riding season begins, the newborn should be sleeping just enough that it won’t be completely impossible to get out on a ride.
And a huge thanks goes to Gary Fisher Bicycles for putting up the frameset, to Brand Manger Travis Ott for making it happen, and to SLC Bikes for committing to supply the components. In these scarce times, companies and people that still step up and join in like this are to be admired even more than usual.
I Would Be an Awesome Rock Star As Long As Everyone in the Audience Heard the Inside of My Head
Last weekend, Susan and I had the Core Team + spouses over for dinner and an evening of Rock Band. I made chili — one of the four main dishes I feel I can make pretty darned well (Brats, Burgers, and Quiche are the others).
It was a splendid evening, and only later would I experience pains of regret for giving myself over so completely to the game. I’m afraid that when I take the mike I belt out the songs pretty loud. And while I sound just right in my own head, the way my guests tend to look for the nearest exit when I sing might indicate some disparity between the sound in my head and the sound in the room.
Still, I maintain: you can’t play Rock Band halfway.
I did redeem myself, however, when I brought out a fun little game called “Lightning Reaction Extreme.” The idea of the game is simple. All four players take a metallic grip with a button in one hand and then watch a light that blinks red. When the light turns green, press the button.
The last person to press the button (or the first person to jump the gun) gets a painful electric shock.
Or — as we played it — the three slowest players get shocked. Only the fastest gets away unscathed.
Can you see who’s not getting shocked in this photo?
Yes, that’s Kenny, Rick Sunderlage (not his real name), and Dug, all discovering their reaction time is slower than mine. I did not get shocked even once, on any turn. Susan is looking on, in pride.
I should point out, however, that when I play this game with my 15-year-old, I lose every single time. I have never won. Even once. Ever.
Sometimes I suspect that teenage boys have faster reflexes than their middle-aged fathers.
OK, This Is The Last Time I Ask (This Year). I Promise.
Today’s the last day for voting for the Bloggies. I am not exactly sure why it matters to me that I win, but it does. So, please, go vote for me in the Sports category, vote for my sister Jodi (Pistols and Popcorn) in the Best-Kept-Secret category, and vote for Pioneer Woman in pretty much all the other categories. OK?
And next year, we go after “Best Food Blog” with a vengeance.
Comments (21)
01.30.2009 | 11:31 am
A Note From Fatty: The response to Susan’s jewelry has been as overwhelming as it has been gratifying. More than 80 of you have ordered bracelets. Having raised $8600 in just a couple days, Susan herself is currently the top fundraising individual in Team Fat Cyclist: Fighting for Susan.
I think that’s pretty fitting, don’t you?
Wisely, Susan is now requesting that no more orders for bracelets be made until she takes care of this first batch. You can bet I’ll post again when she’s ready to do more.
Time’s Almost Up
Tomorrow (Saturday, January 31) is the last day you can enter the raffle for the Gary Fisher Superfly Singlespeed. I’ll do the drawing and notify the winners on Sunday, and hope to announce the winners this Monday.
This bike is one of the most coveted mountain bikes in the world: a carbon-fiber frameset designed to be built up as an incredibly fast, light singlespeed.
And they’re not for sale. Anywhere. As far as I know, if you haven’t already got one on order, this raffle is the only way you can get one.
Check it out:
(Build in photo for illustration purposes only. Components will be different on actual bike)
And you’re not going to just get the frameset, either. SLC Bicycle Company will provide the build for the bike and ship it to you. Massive kudos to Brent Hulme (owner and operator of SLC Bikes) for volunteering to take this on. Building up a bike like this so that the components are as nice as the frame is certainly not an inexpensive project.
But — just in case you forgot — this raffle isn’t just for a bike. You could also win a signed and framed poster of Lance Armstrong:
Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for Gary Fisher Bikes, Brent Hulme (SLC Bikes), Travis Ott (Gary Fisher Brand Manager), and Eric “Hootie” Bjorlin (Trek Pavement Brand Manager). Thanks to them, I’m able to offer you some incredible prizes to help make our fight against cancer a lot more fun.
How to Donate to Win
How can you enter to win? Well, you can donate money at my LiveStrong Challenge page, or, if you’re a member of Team Fatty, you can collect donations at your own LiveStrong Challenge page. Either way, every $5 gets you another virtual raffle ticket for the drawings I do this Sunday.
And remember, every donation helps, and any amount can make you a winner. Think about this for a second: Last year, Matt Ming put in an extra shift at the restaurant where he works so he could donate $100, on the last day of the raffle for the Ibis. And now he’s the owner of the road bike of his dreams.
You Ought to Join Team Fatty
Team Fat Cyclist: Fighting for Susan (Team Fatty for short) has an ambitious goal for 2009: to raise $1,000,000 to help the Lance Armstrong Foundation fight cancer. We’ve got a good start, but we need more help. Why don’t you join Team Fatty today, then get some of your friends to donate at your LiveStrong Challenge page? You’ll feel good about what you’ve done, and you just might win an incredibly cool bike.
To join, here’s what you’ve got to do:
First, you’ve got to decide which event you want to be part of: Austin, San Jose, Seattle, or Philadelphia. If you’re just planning on fundraising — not attending an event — then pick whichever city you most closely identify with. Then, just follow these steps:
- Click one of the below links to go to the Team Fatty page for that city:
- Click the “Join Our Team” link.
- Fill out the form. Note that the $50 registration fee is the same, whether you do one of the rides, the run/walk, or join the virtual challenge.
And here’s something to think about: The next big contest is going to be open to members of Team Fatty only. And believe me, you will not want to miss out on it.
A Little Bit of Chest Thumping
To those of you who are members of Team Fatty, thanks for all you’ve done so far. Here are some bragging rights we’ve earned together:
- As of today, we have raised $102,000. Yes, that’s right. We’re officially in the six-figure zone!
- There are 342 members of Team Fatty. Originally, I had hoped we could get 1000 members, but maybe 500 members is more realistic. Here’s what I’d like Team Fatty members to do: ask a friend to join. There is strength in numbers, and we are working for a cause that requires a lot of strength.
- We are the top fundraising team in all four event cities.
- Team Fatty is responsible for about a quarter (24%) of all LiveStrong Challenge funds raised so far this year.
- Team Fatty has raised more than half of all LiveStrong Challenge funds for the Seattle event
In short, we are kicking butt and making a difference. Thank you.
Comments (36)
