06.6.2011 | 9:29 am
A Note from Fatty: Lots and lots of 100 Miles of Nowhere Race Reports are starting to come in. I’m going to post several per day, so check back often, and be sure to leave a comment for the folks who have taken the time to not only ride, but to write about the ride.
A huge thanks to everyone who has ridden (or will soon ride) the 100 Miles of Nowhere. By doing something ridiculous, you’ve made a big difference.
Sometime today, by the way, I hope to post my own race report — I think it’ll be a good one.
I’m fairly new to this whole 100 MoNW thingy. Last year was my first time and I had a blast. I was planning on doing the same thing with the same crew from last year, but my schedule got in the way. In other words, I’m a wuss for not thinking I could do 100 MoNW and then a race the next day.
So instead I tried to get some friends to ride with me on a different day. I couldn’t find anyone willing to join me. So I took the next logical step and recruited my wife and daughter. Sounds good you might think – but my wife just got a bike last year and my daughter is 4 years old.
To make things even cooler, we decided to make it a fundraising event. After route inspection, Charlotte expressed to me that she thought she could ride 5 laps. So that’s what we told people she was shooting for when we asked for their support.
The morning of our event I loaded up on waffles and bacon and started my route. It’s pretty easy, feels mostly downhill, so the laps started to tick off pretty quickly. After 21 or so, I stopped in to check with the family and see if it was time to start. Sure enough everyone was ready.
For Charlotte’s sake we rode the route backwards so she wouldn’t have as steep of a climb to contend with. We also set up a snack table. This worked two-fold: obviously it held all of our snacks for the ride, but it also worked as a bribe table for Charlotte. We could get her to do a lap, eat some snacks and then ride another lap. Eat snacks, ride, repeat. Fortunately for me, Charlotte hasn’t figured out when I’m bribing her, so it totally worked.
Notice the bad-ass Twin Six shirt:
One of the snack times between laps….the table held: swiss cake rolls, grapes, bananas, water, snacks from our goody bags and a sandwich.
She’s been riding a pedal bike since she was 3 and is transitioning between two sizes. So some of the time she was on her 12″ bike and the other times she rode on her awesome Raleigh Retro 16″ – it has fenders. And a cool bell.
During every downhill section, Charlotte would yell “wheeeeeeeeee!” (pay no attention to my early ’90s era shoes.)
After hitting her goal of 5 laps (6.5 miles), she was still smiling and still ready to go for another round (maybe the Swiss Cake Rolls had something to do with it…)
By the time she was saying “done” she had completed 6 laps and was very proud of herself for what she had done. Not only did she complete one more lap than her goal, she also raised over $600 for the Lance Armstrong Foundation!
Oh – and I managed to come close to my goal of 100 miles, but when the 2nd rain fall came with thunder and sirens, I had to stop short. Together, our total is over 100 miles, so I hope that counts!
Thanks for getting us to do this crazy event. We can’t wait until next year!
Comments (36)
06.3.2011 | 11:27 am
A Note From Fatty: As I’ve mentioned before, I’m supporting and even involved in organizing the upcoming American Fork Canyon Marathon. In the next few days, I’m going to post about it again, because there’s some cool new stuff about it that I think is going to make you want to join The Runner and me on this run.
Or, you can go over to RabidRunner’s blog and read — right now — everything that I have to say about this race myself. Except she’s a much funnier and better writer than I am.
Plus she has some info about what The Runner’s going to be doing on my birthday.
Check out her blog here. Now.
And I’ll see (and talk to, apparently) you at the starting line.
Yikes.
The 100 Miles of Nowhere: This Weekend!
Tomorrow’s the official day of the Fourth Annual 100 Miles of Nowhere.
Of course, some of you went ahead and did it a little early, which, I’m pleased to say, is totally cool. And frankly, it wouldn’t matter very much if I thought it was cool or not anyway.
Still, I daresay that there are not many people who have used it to raise as much — or as adorably — as little Charlotte here (I’ll be posting her whole story next week):
The amount of awesomeness here is nearly too much to take.
And at least one person is using it as a wake-up call to get re-started on her exercise. A reader emailed this in:
[I] haven’t actually ridden a bike for something like 25 years. I’m fat (kinda) and old (kinda) and have pretty serious respiratory problems (recurring collapsed lung and asthma, even though I’ve never smoked). Inspired by your really great blog and by some really great guest posts, I have gone and selected my bike. I’ve already registered for 100 Miles of Nowhere and, although I’ll be NOWHERE near to 100 miles, I hope to go a little ways, at least.
Honestly, I have no illusions about myself: I’m just a goofball. I’m cool with that. But getting email like this makes me really happy that I’m a goofball with a blog in which people sometimes find a reason to go biking and maybe make their lives better.
Other folks got roped into doing this, and then made it into an awesome adventure. Check out Max’s blog post (great story, great pics) from the ride he and a friend did looping around a park in San Francisco.
Or check it out: we even got some press coverage, when Tom Wick and his team motorpaced 100 miles in the Marymoor Velodrome (I get nostalgic whenever I think of the Marymoor velodrome).
And there are other stories. Already.
And after you do your 100 miles of Nowhere, please be sure to send in your stories. I’ll post as many of them as I can throughout the week. And believe me, the week of 100 Miles of Nowhere stories is becoming one of my favorite blog traditions.
And please, allow me to wish you good luck as you ride your 100 Miles of Nowhere. I’m sure you’ll win your division.
You’re a lock, really.
Locals: Join Me Tomorrow for the 100 Miles of Nowhere at Suncrest
If, by chance, you live in Utah County or SLC or anywhere remotely near Alpine / Suncrest, may I humbly suggest you spend your tomorrow riding with me for the 100 Miles of Nowhere at Suncrest? (Even if you have not signed up for the 100 Miles of Nowhere — just make a donation at my LiveStrong Challenge page and we’ll call it good [plus you'll be entered to win my {other} Superfly 100]).
I’ve got reasons you should, and they’re compelling:
- PAIN: You’ll get a heck of a workout. Like 12K feet of climbing (or more) in a day’s worth of riding.
- BRATS: Starting around 3pm, I’m going to start grilling brats for anyone who wants them. I think it is safe to say that this is sufficient reason to show up right there.
- PIE: Mark Albrecht’s wife — you know, the one who’s a trained professional dessert chef — is going to also be there around 3pm, and she’s going to be bringing dessert. And while I have not presumed to tell her what she should or should not bring, it is my fervent hope that there will be pie. And if reason 2 above is good enough to make you want to come over, then this reason is doubly good enough. Seriously.
- SUPPORT: Steve W and his family are going to set up a table at the top of Suncrest with some Coke, water, and stuff to reward you for getting to the top, once again. (Otherwise you ought to plan on being self-supporting, with your food and drink stationed at the Park in Alpine [I've got the pavillion reserved], and buying stuff at the Chevron.) Or those of you who are Suncresters can just leave stuff at home and drop by your own kitchen to pick stuff up once in a while
Plan on showing up at the Park across from the city building in Alpine on Saturday 5:30 AM (or later — start whenever you want, really, it’s not like there are any prizes or like anyone’s keeping track or anything).
The Courses
Once you begin, you can do the 100 miles in a variety of ways:
- Easy: Ride from the park to Westfield road, then along Westfield to the T intersection where the road goes up to Suncrest, then back again. A lap this way is about four miles long and has 200 feet of climbing per lap. Which means, over your 25 laps, you’re going to do around 5000 feet of climbing. So the “easy” route is still far from easy.
- Hard: Ride from the park to the top of Suncrest and back. This lap is 12.5 miles and has more than 1200 feet of climbing. So, as you ride eight laps, you’ll find you’ve climbed approximately 10,000 feet in your 100 miles. Wow. The Runner will be doing the Hard course.
- Ridiculous: Ride from the park to the top of Suncrest, then down the North side to the Chevron, and back. One lap of this is 20 miles, with 2500 feet of climbing. Which means that at the end of the day, you’ll have done five laps, 100 miles, and you will have climbed 12,500 feet. It’s my intention to do the Ridiculous course.
- Impossible: Just do the North side of Suncrest over and over. 15 laps should give you 100 miles and 18,375 feet of climbing. Honestly, I can’t imagine doing this course. I hope someone proves me wrong and shows it is possible. Kenny?
How You’ll Report Your Progress
There will be a banner at the park pavillion. At the beginning of the day, on the bottom of the banner, write your name.
Then, every time you complete a lap, take one of the strips I’ll have printed and cut and fill that strip in with the following info:
- Your cumulative distance
- Your cumulative climbing
- Your cumulative time
Then make the strip into a ring and staple it to your previous rings.
By the end of the day, you’ll have a nice souvenir of your 100 Miles of Nowhere: a chain that tells you how many laps you did, how much you climbed, how far you went, and how long it took.
I know; it’s almost too clever for words.
Oh, and bring your own GPS / bike computer, to track your progress.
Other Stuff
- Bathrooms: There’s one at the park in Alpine, right by the pavillion we have reserved.
- Clothes: After you finish your 100 Miles of Nowhere, you’re going to want to stick around and have a brat and some dessert, right? So you might want to bring something to change into.
- Cash: I’m going to carry a card and plan to use it pretty much every time I get to the Chevron to buy myself a Mountain Dew. If you’re doing the Ridiculous version of the course, I recommend you do the same.
- Food and Water: Apart from Steve’s family providing some much-needed refreshment at the top of Suncrest, your food and drink needs are your own to take care of. I recommend bringing an ice chest with what you need and leaving it at the pavillion. There is a water fountain you can refill your bottles with at the park, though.
And you know what? Even if you don’t ride all of the 100 Miles of Nowhere, you’re still welcome to come have something to eat with us afterward (from 3 – 5pm).
I do need to get a headcount of how many brats and how much other stuff to get. So please, email me if you’re coming. ASAP. Like now.
I don’t want anyone to go hungry. That would be sad.
Good luck to everyone — whether local or whereever — with your 100 Miles of Nowhere!
Comments (28)
06.2.2011 | 10:43 am
First, allow me to apologize to all of you for blindsiding you with the title of this post, which has no doubt afflicted you with the “I am the Walrus” earworm, which you will have for the rest of the day.
Wait. I retract that apology and now re-extend it, but only to those of you who know who the Beatles were. (Are?)
OK, now I’m going to try to say what I actually intend to say. Honestly.
A month and change ago, I touched 174 pounds. Now I weigh 157 pounds. That’s a road bike’s worth of weight I’m no longer carrying around.
How did I do it? Easy. I have invented my own diet, consisting almost entirely of avocados atop fried egg whites.
Yes, really. And it’s working.
What I’m Doing
Basically, five or six (sometimes seven) times a day — whenever I start to get hungry, really — I make the following meal, which I will now walk you through, while simultaneously illustrating the process with glorious COLOR (yes, color!) photographs.
Step 1: I separate five eggs, with the whites going into a frying pan over a medium flame, and the yolks going into the trash.
I know, that seems like an awful lot of egg whites. And when you consider that I’m doing this five or six times per day, we’re looking at 25-30 eggs. Which seems nuts, and maybe it is. But it’s what I’m doing, and it’s working.
Step 2: I add a ridiculous amount of pepper.
Yes, this is really how much pepper I use. I use so much pepper that I’ve sustained a repetitive motion injury from all the pepper grinding.
I don’t add salt. I’ll get into why in a bit.
Step 3. Once the egg is ready, I flip it. By “ready,” I mean that I can l lift it with a spatula without raw egg white pouring all over the place. The underside will be browned just a bit.
The nice thing about flipping egg whites is that since there’s no yolk, you don’t have to worry about…breaking the yolk.
Step 4. Once flipped, I let the egg whites cook for about one more minute. That’s all it needs.
By the way, I wanted to take a moment to show off my awful frying pan handle:
The reason it looks like this is because I cut off the rubber gripping material. The reason I cut off the rubber gripping material is because whoever designed this pan forgot that there are gas stoves in the universe. Which is to say, as purchased from the store, this pan will sit on a flat surface just fine. But if you put it on a gas stove, the heavy handle makes it keel over.
Unless, of course, you make the handle less heavy.
With the rubber grippy stuff removed, the pan works just fine as long as you never ever touch the handle while cooking, because it is plenty-six thousand degrees hot.
Okay. Back to the narrative. Such as it is.
Here’s how the egg whites look, now cooked.
Kinda weird how similar in both pattern and color the eggs are to my countertop, huh?
Step 5. I slice up a quarter of an avocado and place it on top.
Ta-da. Breakfast! And brunch! And lunch! And mid-afternoon snack! And dinner! And late-night snack!
The Math — And Why This Works — of the Thing
That’s a lot of eggs, isn’t it? And a lot of avocado, too. But I’m losing weight, fast and — for the first time — easily.
How can that be?
The reasons are pretty easy and make a surprising amount of sense, actually.
First, egg whites have a ton of protein — 4 grams of it per egg, according to NutritionData.com. And no cholesterol. And basically no carbs.
And very few calories. Only 16 per egg.
As it turns out, the egg white is pretty much pure good-for-you protein.
So when I make myself five eggs, I’m getting 80 calories — about the same number as in a slice of bread — and 20 grams of protein.
That’s weight-loss gold right there, baby.
Of course, there’s a downside to all the egg whites: sodium. At 55mg of sodium per egg, I’m getting 275mg of sodium every time I make this meal. And since I’m doing this about five times per day, that’s 1375mg of sodium I’m taking in, before I put any salt (or salsa) on.
That’s like a whole can of Campbell’s Soup, for crying out loud.
Once I realized that egg whites have so much salt, I stopped putting salt on my eggs at all, and frankly don’t miss it. Even so, I’m drinking a ton of water (and exercising a lot) to flush all that sodium out.
[Important but mildly distasteful note: One thing I worried about when I started eating a ton of egg whites was that they would give me incredibly sulfurous, stinky farts. This hasn't happened. At least, they're no stinkier or sulfurous than usual. Cuz I think the part of egg that makes you have rotten egg farts is the yolk. However, I have no evidence of this, other than my own only-normally-stinky farts.]
Avocado to the Rescue
For the first day or two I was using egg whites as my primary diet food, I failed. A lot. That is, I’d start the day off well, and then sometime in the afternoon, I’d completely blow it and have a willpower implosion.
Once that happened, no food in the house was safe.
And I’d wind up not losing any weight for the day, even though I’d worked so hard for most of the day, then just slipped up toward the end. Tripped at the finish line, as it were.
So I started adding slices of avocado to my eggs. About a quarter of an avocado per “meal,” which means I’m eating about 1.5 avocados per day.
As you can see, avocados have some (not much) carbs, and they have quite a few calories. And those calories almost all come from fat.
But by adding the avocado, the egg tastes tons better. In fact, it goes from being an OK diet food to being something that I enjoy. As in, it’ll be a long time before I tire of it.
And — as important as the taste — the avocado makes this a relatively filling meal. I don’t find myself starving ten minutes after I eat, and I don’t have carbo-deprivation-induced feeding frenzies anywhere near as often.
So, let’s take a look at what this means, calorie-wise for the day, so far:
Egg whites: 16 calories x 25 = 400 calories
Avocados: 322 calories x 1.5 = 483
Total: 883 calories
Seriously, I’m eating this meal five times per day, and only consuming around 900 calories doing it.
But What About Training? (AKA, What About Carbs?)
If I were totally faithful to this diet, I’d probably have lost weight a lot faster than I have. But honestly, I’m not super faithful to it, especially since while I’m doing this I’m also riding my bike a lot.
And for anything beyond a short ride, I need carbs. Or I’m going to bonk fast and hard.
So, when I’m about to head out riding, I eat a Fruition bar. Or half a PBJ sandwich. Or something else. And I’ve been riding well doing this.
For example, last Saturday, The Runner and I rode from our house in Alpine, Utah around West Mountain and back home: a 99.3-mile loop (both of us were surprised at how this wound up being very nearly an exact century, since we hadn’t planned it that way).
Then, the next day, we pre-ran most of the incredibly beautiful American Fork Half Marathon (10.5 miles of it). And of course, the weekend before, we did the Ogden Marathon.
During these big efforts, I’ve been eating energy food just like I always do, but starting to fuel up a little sooner.
No bonks.
I am noticing, however, that being ten pounds lighter makes a big difference on the bike, and an even bigger difference when running.
Also, I’m noticing that I have a new reason to look forward to long rides (and runs, I guess): these are the times I’m “allowed” to eat the carbs I love so much (and I do truly love carbs).
Then, once the workout’s done, it’s back to protein.
What’s Next
I am not a five-year-plan kind of guy. I know that I want to get down to 152 pounds by the end of June, then hold that weight ’til after the Leadville 100, during which I hope to finally finish in under nine hours.
But how will I integrate what I’m learning about diet (keep the protein up, use fats to control hunger, use carbs for endurance exercise) into my long-term eating plan? I’m not sure. I’ll probably stop being religious about the carbs, and will diversify out to other foods.
The thing is, though, when I’m making a concerted effort, I find it easiest to simplify my food as much as possible: I’m thinking in terms of fuel, not a delightful culinary experience. When it’s time to eat, I know what I’m going to get. I don’t have to think about it.
And since eating this way keeps me way below the number of calories I need to lose weight, I can eat as often as I want, or need.
So. This is working for now. In fact, it’s working so well, I just placed an order with Shimano. That Superfly 100 is going to be pretty sweet when decked out in the brand-new XTR.
Goo goo g’joob.
PS for folks who would like to win a Superfly 100: Just in case you didn’t read yesterday’s post and today’s post has you feeling a little bummed that you won’t win my Superfly 100, well, you should stop feeling bummed. You can still win my (other) brand-new Superfly 100. Just read yesterday’s post for details how the contest goes, then go donate. Thanks!
Comments (65)
06.1.2011 | 10:37 am
As of this morning’s weigh-in, I weigh 156.6 pounds. Check me out:
After you’re done wigging out over my hairy toes and awful toenails, you’ll see that I lost 2.8 pounds yesterday, blowing right by my goal of the 158.0 I needed to reach by this Friday. Honestly, though, that big one-day loss is mostly attributable to being at the back end of the weight spike I always get after doing big efforts (a fast-paced 6+ hour road ride on Saturday, a hard downhill 11-mile run on Sunday). I’ve been working hard on my weight loss.
The thing to focus on here, though, is the number. So let’s say it again: 156. 6.
That’s an important number, because it means I’m going to get to keep that Superfly 100.
Sorry, folks. (And also, thank you for giving me the motivation I needed in order to finally lose that weight.)
You must be wondering how I’ve done it. And tomorrow I’m going to tell you all about it, probably at much greater length than you’d care to know.
But today, I’ve got something else to tell you. Something that I think is going to take the sting out of the fact that I’m keeping (and, early next week, building up) the Superfly 100.
As of right this second, you can still win one.
Win My (Other) Superfly 100
Back in 2010, I got a chance to go to the Gary Fisher Ride Camp in Park City. There, I got a chance to ride the just-announced Superfly 100.
I fell in love with it.
In fact, I fell in love with this bike enough that eventually I bought one. And it was the threat of losing this bike that finally got me motivated to get down to the racing weight I wanted to be at.
But now I feel kinda bad. A lot of you donated money to my LiveStrong Challenge page, and of course you all realized that your chances of winning were slim.
But for none of you to get a prize? That just sucks, man. Sucks hard. That’s not the way I want my contests to end.
So, this morning I called the good folks at Trek. I just got off the phone with them, really. I told them my story, and I’ve bought another Superfly 100 (don’t worry, they gave me a screamin’ deal).
And this one, I’m giving away for sure.
Here’s how it’s gonna work.
The Rules
Here’s how the rules to my Superfly 100 Contest work. It’s pretty easy (and for those of you who know the drill, you can skip straight over to my LiveStrong Challenge page to donate now).
- Donate at my LiveStrong Challenge page in multiples of $5.00.
- For every $5.00 you donate, you automatically get a number on my spreadsheet.
- The contest begins right now, and ends at Noon, Pacific Time, on Thursday, June 9.
- If you donated as part of the contest to win my first Superfly (the one I get to keep), those donations count in this contest, too. ‘Course, it’d be really cool if you donated some more.
- The bike will be delivered only within the U.S. Which means international Team Fatty folk aren’t eligible unless they’ve got a way to pick up the bike in the U.S. Sorry!
- I will mail a certificate to the winner, who can take it to their local Trek dealer to get their Superfly.
- The winner has until July 31 to redeem their prize at their Trek dealer.
- The winner must agree to ride, cherish, and keep this bike (or give it to a friend or relative who will). No ebaying it or trying to sell it or use it in another fundraiser or anything like that. I never thought I’d have to say this, but I guess I do: I want the bikes I give away in these contests to be ridden, not treated as fungibles. Got it?
If you have questions, ask them in the comments. I’ll answer as best as I can.
Why I’m Doing This Contest
I’m doing this contest for a lot of reasons, but it comes down to this:
I hate cancer, and I love the way LiveStrong helps people as they fight cancer. They do a fantastic job and they deserve my support and your support.
And this is a fun way to do it.
Also, I’m doing this particular contest because I thought it’s time I put a little skin in this game. I’ve given away a lot of bikes on this blog, but this is the first time I’m giving away one I bought.
Why this bike at this time? Well, because I’m really, really excited about my own Superfly 100, and I love the idea of someone else getting an awesome bike like this, too.
This isn’t just another bike I’m giving away. This is me giving away a bike I’ve been wanting for myself. This is the mountain bike I want. This is the bike I’m pretty sure will carry me across the finish line at the Leadville 100 in under 9 hours (after 14 unsuccessful prior attempts).
So yeah, I’m confident that you are going to love this bike.
And I didn’t like the idea of me having a contest, and then me being the (only) winner.
So do me — and LiveStrong, and the people LiveStrong helps — a favor: go donate now. And maybe later this Summer, we’ll swap stories about our cool new bikes.
Comments (62)
05.31.2011 | 10:13 am
A Note from Fatty: Thanks to Joaquim at Zazoosh Photography for letting me use the photos in this post! If you’re in Utah, Arizona, Nevada or the surrounding area and considering putting on a bike event of your own, you ought to get ahold of Zazoosh; they’re good guys.
My life’s bucket list has kept me very busy the last few years. As many of you know, doing an IronMan was on the list…Running the Boston marathon is also there. Many of my friends of have done it, reporting to me how neat and rewarding it is.
I have qualified for Boston a couple of times without trying to, but actually getting to Boston and running the marathon has never been a possibility. This year, I had mentioned to Elden that I would really like to try and qualify and hopefully run the race in 2012. I thought I could try and qualify at the Odgen Marathon and if it weren’t meant to be, I would have a 2nd chance at the St George marathon at the end of the summer.
Well, I was disappointed to find out that I would be out of town during the St George marathon (I have a date with an Alpe named de Huez), so my one and only chance to qualify for Boston would be in Ogden.
Training
The pressure was on! I had been running strong after healing from a hip injury that I somehow sustained running the NY marathon.
My 10k pace was the fastest I had ever run. My marathon training schedule had me running the Canyonlands Half Marathon. My friends and I (a girls-only trip) had gone to Moab in March to eat good food and run the race. I had hopes I would have a PR at the race. Unfortunately, there was a hard headwind and I finished a little slower than my previous fastest time. I felt like I ran strong and I felt great the whole race (which is extremely odd when racing)!
Then, a few days after the race, my right hip started to hurt (My left hip was the one I hurt after the NY marathon). I was frustrated! I rested it for more than two weeks, but the pain didn’t change much. I couldn’t believe this was happening. I was on a schedule to get ready for the marathon and this was not in the agenda!
I tentatively started running again and discovered that I could run on it. The pain never left, but it never escalated either. I was faithful with the ice baths after my long runs. Elden still can’t believe that I can sit in ice-cold water and soak my legs. Icing your legs after a run is a great way to bring down inflammation, which helps aid recovery and decreases stiffness!
Because of my injury, I was now behind in my training schedule. My longest run was 20 miles; I had hoped I’d be able to do run two 20-milers and one 22-miler. One 20-mile run would have to do, hopefully. Oh well, at least I was able to run with only mild discomfort. There would be plenty of time after the race to rest and hopefully heal my hip completely after the race.
The Race
Elden did a good job describing the early morning hours before the race. I would like to say that he was acting a little strange…he was very quiet. Usually Elden can talk and talk and talk, thus I knew he wasn’t feeling real great.
I made Elden line up at the start with me and the 3:30 pace group. To qualify for Boston, I would need to run a 3:50. I figured that I could start with this fast group, but I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be finishing with them.
In the 3:30 group, I found my good friend Jilene Mecham. Jilene and I have been friends since the 5th grade. Jilene is crazy. By which I mean she acts crazy and she is crazy-fast! I rarely go on training runs with Jilene because, honestly, I can’t keep up. If I try and stay with her, I can’t carry on a conversation because I have no extra oxygen to use for talking.
Jilene has run many, many marathons, done a high-altitude Xterra IronMan in Park City, and will be doing the Leadville100 mountain bike race this year for the seventh time. Oh, I forgot to mention that Jilene won the women’s division at Leadville a few years ago-not just her age group, but the whole women’s division! It is safe to say, Jilene is fast (and crazy).
I was surprised to see her at the starting line dressed in normal running clothes, no thick eye makeup or bright-red lipstick, like usual. When she rides Leadville, she mounts pom-poms on her helmet and is frequently known to loudly sing songs while climbing up steep trails. (There is a clip of her in the film Race across the Sky doing just that!). This morning she seemed a little mellow….If she stayed that way maybe I could run a little bit with her!
The First 7 Miles
Elden and I stuck together for the first 1/2 mile, dodging in and out of people, trying to find the right place for us in the pack. Elden has learned that I turn into a different person when I’m running, a little more aggressive and very focused!
Pretty soon, someone came up behind us and was commenting loudly about how attractive our “biking” legs were. There was no need to turn around; we knew Jilene had caught up with us. Oh, I forget to mention that Jilene is also very loud and is missing a filter on her mouth! She basically says exactly what is on her mind. It does not matter if she knows you or not. You’re never bored when Jilene is around.
I think we picked up the pace a bit when Jilene arrived, Elden couldn’t hang on and he silently fell off the back. Or maybe he said goodbye, but I just couldn’t hear him over Jilene.
As we ran, Jilene would comment on people’s well-defined, muscular bodies-both men’s and women’s. She also was on a quest to recruit a few people to run on her ultra RAGNAR team. So if you looked like you qualified to be on her team–muscular (or crazy)–she would strike up a conversation.
We ran a lot of the first 7 miles with a man with neon green hair, green tie and green socks (yes, he did have shorts and a shirt on, I just don’t remember what color they were). He was fit (and crazy), but unavailable for RAGNAR. We also met Paul Hudson–a Fatty Fan who runs too. Paul said he was interested in doing RAGNAR, so Paul, if you want to do it please email Elden, so Jilene will stop hassling me about doing it!
But I am opening it up to any Friend of Fatty, if you are crazy and fast, and would like to spend 24 hours running and hanging out in the car with Jilene and some of her crazy, fast friends, let Elden know and I’ll pass the info along to Jilene. Jilene did invite Elden and I to be on her team, She must think we are crazy, because we aren’t fast, but it’s on Elden’s birthday and he would prefer celebrating his birthday by not running!
The first 7 miles sailed by! The raging Weber River was mesmerizing, the steep incline of the canyon was making my pace seem effortless and, of course, the conversation was entertaining! We were cruising at a 7:45min/mile. That is way fast for me! We crossed the 7 mile split banner and I felt great. I was 2 minutes faster than the last time I ran this race and we had successfully stayed ahead of the 3:30 pace group.
This was gonna be a good race.
Mile 7-18
Jilene left me soon after the 7 mile split. She said she felt good and took off. I felt good too, but not that good. For a while I kept Jilene in my sight; that made me feel a little better.
Miles 7-18 run along the edge of Pineview Reservoir. The road is basically flat (one slight incline), and the views are breathtaking. Pineview Reservoir was like glass, the sun was just peaking over the mountains, and there was no wind–it doesn’t get much better than that!
As I crossed the half marathon split, I realized I had just completed my fastest 1/2 marathon ever: 1:44! I was doing great.
Then something happened.
The 3:30 pace group went by me. They didn’t come up alongside me and hang with me; they just blew by me! What had happened? I had been feeling great, but seeing the group blow by me must have taken a physical and psychological toll on me. Plus, the only incline of the race also arrived.
My pace dropped almost 2 minutes per mile over the next several miles. I didn’t know how much I had slowed, but I did realize something wasn’t right.
One thought kept running through my mind: “Just make it to mile 20.” That is when we enter Ogden canyon and the road starts dropping elevation again. Up until mile 18, I felt pretty good. Sure I hurt, but I was running a marathon, that is to be expected.
The last 10K
When I finally entered the canyon, something was wrong. The downhill was not at all rewarding like I had anticipated it would be. Every step hurt. My quads were on fire.
I kept telling myself that I only had 6 miles left. I have a 6 mile route at home that I run frequently; I know by heart where every mile starts and ends. I tried to imagine myself running that route.
The first mile (mile 20-21) lasted forever. Elden and I both discussed this afterward. We think the race directors were playing a sick joke on us and moved the mile marker!
I will admit that although every mile I endured in the canyon was excruciatingly painful, it was also beautiful. Ogden canyon was spectacular. The Ogden river with its spring runoff was rushing down the canyon. Then, as I exited the canyon, I was greeted by a spectacular cascade of water rushing off the edge of the canyon wall.
For the next 3 miles you run along a river bike path. The path continually turns right and then left, then goes up and comes down…pure agony on the quads. Many times the thought crossed my mind to just stop and walk…but that would only prolong the agony!
It’s funny how your mind works. Several times, I had to fight back hysterics. I didn’t know if I was ever going to finish this mile, let alone the race! I had to mentally slap myself in the face and tell me to get control of myself. After all, I told myself, I only had 2 miles–20 minutes tops-left in the race. I could finish this!
It’s funny that Elden mentioned how he focused on his Ipod and his music as he ran the last couple of miles. Elden said that every mile took about 3 songs. I had never mentioned this to Elden, but I play this game all the time when I run, except for me one mile takes about 2 1/2 songs.
So I flipped to this mindset: block out the pain and agony and focus on the music. This brought me to the chute before the finish line. I actually even picked up the pace a bit, as the crowd yelled and cheered me on.
I crossed the finish line in 3:41:44.
I had done it.
Not my fastest qualifying time, but a qualifying time nonetheless.
Finish Line
Whenever I run fast in a race, my body responds pretty well while I’m running Afterwards, it is a different story! My bowels keep quiet the whole time I’m running, but as soon as I stop for an extended period of time and drink a large amount of fluid, they begin to rebel. They knot up in a ball, they don’t know what they want to do.
They are not happy.
So for the next 25 minutes, I paced around the finishers area, drinking water and using the bathroom. I was supposed to meet Elden at the VIP tent, but in my delirious, bowel-knotted stupor, I couldn’t find the VIP tent. (I later found out that I was walking around and around and around it!)
Finally I bumped into Jilene, still looking happy, mellow and fresh. She stated she kept ahead of the 3:30 pace group (which was her secret goal) and finished in 3:29. Not her fastest time, but damn respectable!
She also said Elden was looking for me.
For a minute I was confused. Elden? What is he doing here? He is still supposed to be somewhere in Ogden Canyon in misery, not here at the finish line looking for me! When I came back to my senses, I found Elden in the VIP looking very happy–almost giddy! I was very surprised and proud of his time! Not many people can pull off a marathon with a sub 4 without training! He continually surprises and impresses me!
When Elden asked me to write my story about the marathon, I said, “There is no story…I felt great at the first, fair in the middle and miserable at the end, it’s the most excruciating, painful experience anyone can imagine!”
I guess the gift of gab that Elden has must have rubbed off a little on me.
Now Elden, when can we sign up for the next one?
PS from Fatty: This photo (me giving it all I have in the final 100 yards of the course to finish sub-4-hours) doesn’t have anything to do with The Runner’s story, but when I saw it on Zazoosh I asked them if I could use it anyways, because I believe it is the best picture that has ever been taken of me.
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