12.6.2009 | 11:47 am
[UPDATE: This contest now includes a Trip to see the Tour de France. Click here for info.]
A Note from Fatty: If you already know the score and just came here to get to the links to donate, here’s what you need:
And now, on with the story.
First, a little background. Last Thursday, I wrote and posted a letter to Johan Bruyneel, the gag behind the letter being that I was applying for a job as a professional cyclist in the exact same way I’d apply for a job in the business world — by listing my business experience, talking about my ability to use PowerPoint, and so forth.
I did not expect Johan Bruyneel — the head honcho of Team RadioShack (the team Lance Armstrong, Levi Leipheimer, Chris Horner, and Andreas Kloden are all on for 2010) to reply in his own blog the following day.
You should read his post for yourself, but basically, he said that he’d be happy to have me be a pro cyclist — for a day, at the team training camp in Tucson, Arizona this Sunday. But first I’d have to prove myself, by doing the following:
Wow. That’s a lot of money, in a short period of time. But then Johan (yeah, I’m referring to him by first name) takes it a step further. If I raise $25,000 for each of these causes by Friday, they’d give me a Trek Madone 6 Series bike powered by SRAM Red.
[Update: we have passed the first milestone: we've raised more than $10,000 for each of these causes. We're now focused on the big stretch goal: $25,000 for each!]
Wow. That’s a serious challenge.
And I am more than happy to accept. And with your help I think I can knock this challenge out of the park. Cuz if you help, you might win some prizes that are going to make your head spin.
Let’s talk about those prizes now.
What You Can Win
I really, really, really want to go to Tucson and ride with Team RadioShack. Really really.
But a business week is not a lot of time to raise $20,000. And it’s definitely not a lot of time to raise $50,000. So I pulled out all the stops, and am giving away two bikes as part of this fundraising contest.
First, I’m giving away a 2010 Gary Fisher Superfly — geared, hardtail version:
This bike retails for $4200, and is my absolute bike of choice when I’m riding with gears (Yes, I own the 2009 version of this bike, purchased retail at my LBS with my own money, so I’m not just saying this because I’m friendly with the Gary Fisher folks).
These bikes are hard to come by, so on its own merits this is an incredible prize. But here’s the thing that has had me walking around in a daze since Travis Ott — Brand Manager Extraordinaire — told me:
This bike will be custom painted with the Fat Cyclist colors and logo, as well as the winner’s name.
Jesse Lalonde is doing the custom paint design, and I love his work. As soon as he has a mockup of the design, I’ll post it here.
So, to recap: the first bike you could win is a personalized, one-of-a-kind Fat Cyclist edition of the Gary Fisher Superfly, an ultra-high-end carbon 29″ high-end mountain bike, worth $4,200.
That does not suck at all, and ordinarily would be plenty of prize for a fundraiser. But like I said, I’m on a tight schedule here, so I’m going to ramp things up a bit.
Win a Madone 6-Series Road Bike, Signed By Team RadioShack
To tell the truth, I felt a little bit funny about me getting a bike when I’m asking you to donate money (don’t worry, I’m donating too).
So I asked Johan’s rep if — assuming we hit that $50,000 mark — I could offer the Madone as a prize to someone who donates.
He loved that idea, and took it one step further: “If you give the bike to a donor, I’ll get the team to sign that bike.
So yes, you can win a bike like this — but with different colors, SRAM Red components, and signatures by Lance, Levi, Andreas, Chris and others on it:
That, my friends, is a collector’s item and an extraordinary prize on its own merits. And it is not easy for me to give away. But — provided we raise $25,000 for LiveStrong and another $25,000 for World Bicycle Relief — one (very very) lucky donor will get this $6.6K+ collector’s item.
One big challenge, two great causes, two incredible bikes.
How to Enter
Entering this contest is easy. And here are the rules.
- The contest began last Friday (December 4) and goes through Friday, December 11, 12:00 noon, Mountain Standard Time. That’s less than a week, so don’t wait.
- To win the Madone: For every $5.00 you donate at this World Bicycle Relief Page, you get a chance at winning the Team RadioShack-signed Madone 6-series bike. Just click here to donate, make your donation in multiples of $5.00, and you’re automatically entered.
- To win the Superfly: For every $5.00 you donate at this LiveStrong Page, you get a chance at winning the Fat Cyclist Edition Gary Fisher Superfly. Just click here to donate, make your donation in multiples of $5.00, and you’re automatically entered.
- If you donated at either of these pages before I announced these prizes, then yes, you are still entered to win these prizes.
- If you win the Superfly, you’ll get it in February or March, 2010.
- If you win the Madone, you’ll get it as soon as the team can sign it, and you’ll need to understand that their schedules can be busy. In other words, you’ll get it in a reasonable period of time, but you’ll need to be patient.
- Customs and taxes for the bike are your own problem.
- Winners will be contacted by email and phone.
Note that the Madone will only be given away as a prize IF a minimum of $25,000 is raised on both the LiveStrong and World Bicycle Relief pages. If this does not occur, then donations for the Madone contest will be entered into the Superfly contest. So you can enter the Madone contest without worrying that you may not have any chance at all of winning anything.
Win-Win-Win-Win
I want to take a moment and give a shout-out to Johan Bruyneel for his awesomeness. He took a jokey post I wrote and replied with humor and the chance to do something really amazing. Consider the effects of his reply to my post:
- I’m going to have a chance to ride with the pros, which will be completely insane, because I am a babbling fool when I am around famous people.
- We’re going to raise money to fight cancer.
- We’re going raise money to help secondary-aged students in Zambia who face extraordinarily long commutes to and from school (typically 8-12km per way) that often restricts their ability to complete basic education.
- We’re going to give away some prizes that are just unimaginably cool.
That, folks, is class.
Now go donate (here for the LiveStrong / Superfly contest, or here for the World Bicycle Relief / Madone contest)!
PS: Bonus Prizes of Awesomeness
Nick Howe, Road and Triathlon Brand Manager at Trek, read my letter and Johan’s reply and has jumped into the fray with an some career guidance for me. And as part of his post, he has offered up some very cool bonus prizes I can give away to people who donate.
First, a jersey, signed by Lance:
And second, a never-for-sale long-sleeved edition of the Astana jersey from the team most of the RadioShack guys were on last year.
I’ll give both of these away to random donors.
PPS: As of Monday, 6:45 AM (MST), we’ve raised $30,462!
As of Monday 8:50 AM (MST), we’ve raised $45,371. Holy smokes. You people are a whole new kind of generous. Thank you.
As of Monday 1:27 PM (MST), we’ve raised $55,753!
Comments (230)
12.3.2009 | 9:48 am
As a middle-aged man, I cannot help but wonder whether I have made good choices in my life. Am I doing all I can with my life? Have I chosen the correct path? Or is there something more I could — and should — be doing?
These are the kinds of questions that keep a man up late at night. Pondering. Wondering.
It was during just such a session of personal introspection that I decided: I need a career change. And the career I have chosen is: Professional Cyclist.
As a man of action, I immediately set to work, updating my resume and finding out the top-tier teams I would most like to join.
After considerable research, I decided that I want to join Team Radio Shack. It’s a new team, so I feel I could really put my stamp on it; make it my own. Plus, I really like walkie talkies and pens that are also lasers.
I am highly confident that I will soon be a Professional Cyclist. So confident, in fact, that I am going to take you on my journey toward professional cyclist-dom even as it happens.
It all begins with sending my resume and cover letter to the manager of the team, As shown below.
Dear Mr. Bruyneel,
Please find attached my resume and press clip portfolio. I think they’ll go a long way toward showing you that I am an experienced and capable professional with both focus and drive.
I’d like to take a moment of your time to briefly summarize why I am applying for the position of Professional Cyclist at Team Radio Shack.
First of all, I am a team player. In my current job — Product Manager at an IT research and analysis firm — I have been in the position of both managing and participating in large teams, initiating large initiatives and driving them to completion. I feel this would be a valuable skill in a professional cyclist. While I cannot guarantee that I would be first across the finish line in every race, I can promise you that I would be able to work with other team members to ensure that they knew their own responsibilities as well as my own status at any given point in time.
Next, I have excellent communication skills. I am highly proficient at every Microsoft Office product, with particular emphasis in Word, Excel, and PowerPoint, and have given literally hundreds of presentations in the course of my career. If, at some point during a training ride or race, you or anyone else came up with an idea that needed to be presented before the team, I am your guy.
I am a fast learner. While it is true that at this point I have never won a professional-level bicycle race (to be candid, I have never won a sport-class local race, either), I learn quickly by observing others in the workplace. I have no doubt that after watching how other professional cyclists win races, I would be able to emulate their behavior and win races as well.
I take my job seriously. As I begin to accumulate “palmares” (you’ll note that I am already beginning to learn terms specific to the cycling world!), I would always acknowledge those who made it possible, including you. Further, I would never showboat across the finish line, throwing my hands in the air as if the victory belonged to me alone. Frankly I find that behavior unnecessarily self-focused and not conducive to a productive environment in the workplace.
I am willing to travel, within reason. I completely understand that this job requires some travel, and you have my assurance that this will not be a problem for me, as long as I am able to keep my “away” days to a maximum of three days per month, with the understanding that I need to be home with my kids on the weekends.
I am experienced. I have noticed that — with one notable exception — most of your riders are in their late twenties and early thirties. I believe that I can help fill the “experience gap” you have almost certainly observed in your team. As a 43-year-old man, I have twenty years in the professional world and can act as a mentoring figure to other team members who are still just getting started with their careers.
I have contacts in the industry. I don’t want to brag, but I have exchanged email with people at a number of bike-related companies, including Gary Fisher, Ibis, and Masi. I also have an in with the guys at Pro Bar, and might be able to help you get a discount. In these uncertain economic times, I think this could really help. And I am personally acquainted with a couple of really excellent jersey designers; I think I could get them to bump you up in their design queue.
I interview well, and have a sizable vocabulary, plus I am an excellent speller. I don’t want to seem boastful, but I was an alternate for my junior high school in the annual county spelling bee thirty years ago.
I am an Eagle Scout. I think that speaks for itself.
I’m a big fan of Radio Shack. I am a bit of an electronics DIY guy, and a few years ago, one of my sons and I actually built a robot from scratch, following instructions in a book and using parts primarily found at Radio Shack. How many of your (other) team members can say that?
Finally — and I think this is an important point — I really enjoy riding bikes. I think that will really shine through when cameras inevitable hone in on me.
I look forward to hearing back from you and to joining your team. Thank you for your time.
Kind Regards,
The Fat Cyclist
I am, as you might expect, very excited to receive his reply. I will keep you updated as events warrant.
Comments (134)
12.1.2009 | 1:40 am
Those of you who have read my blog know that I’m not an especially serious person by nature. In fact, I may well be the antonym of serious. But 5+ years of living with this evil disease as it killed my wife a little bit at a time has made me serious about this.
I hate cancer, and I’m never going to stop fighting it.
And the ugly fact is, either you already have seen cancer close up, or you will sometime in your life. It’s that common. And you’re going to hate it too. It’s that evil.
So let’s fight it together. And have fun and win stuff and meet an incredible group of people and break some records while we do it.
In 2009, Team Fatty raised more than $800,000 for the LiveStrong Challenge — an amount that took all previous records, smashed them, crushed them, tore them into small pieces, and broke them down into their constituent atoms.
We came close to hitting our goal of $1,000,000 — but didn’t quite get there. So that’s our goal again this year: $1,000,000.00.
Registration for Team Fatty for the 2010 LiveStrong Challenge is now open! As in 2009, we’ll be in all four cities. And as in 2009, we’re looking to build the largest team, raising the most money for this critical fight.
To sign up with Team Fatty, just click the city you’d like to join (if you don’t plan to actually attend the event — you just want to help Team Fatty raise money — it doesn’t matter which city you join), noting the event dates. That will take you to the Team Fatty page for that city. From there, click the “Join Our Team” link and follow the instructions from there.
And now, for a few frequently-asked questions (as in “questions I’ve been asked once or twice, or questions I think I ought to be asked”) about Team Fatty.
Q: Is there anything special I need to do to be part of Team Fatty?
A: All you need to do is register as part of Team Fatty in any of the four LiveStrong Challenge teams linked above. And then you need to start working on raising money. You need to raise at least $100 to be counted as part of the team, and $250 to attend the event. But really, if we’re going to seriously raise a million dollars, basically a thousand of us needs to raise a thousand dollars each. That’s a lot of people raising a lot of money. But I believe we can do it.
Q: I want to join Team Fatty and raise money in the fight against cancer, but I know I won’t be able to attend any of the events. Do I still have to pay the $35 registration fee?
A: No, you sure don’t. When you register, choose “Virtual Challenge” and you don’t have to pay anything at all. But I still expect you to do your part in the fundraising, OK?
Q: How do I get a Team Fatty jersey?
A: Most sizes of the Team Fatty (pink) version of the Fat Cyclist jersey are available right now at Twin Six. Click here for Men’s, or click here for Women’s. You’ll also find t-shirts, stickers, bottles, vests, shorts, arm warmers and caps by clicking here.
Once these run out, we’ll gauge whether we need to do an extra pre-order of Team Fatty jerseys. If we do, we’ll make sure we do it in plenty of time for you to get your jersey before any of the LiveStrong Challenge events.
And you should know that the profit from these jerseys goes right back to the LiveStrong Challenge, and that the Twin Six guys helped us raise more than $50,000 last year between jersey sales, supporting the 100 Miles of Nowhere, and sale days where all their profit went to LiveStrong. So when you’re picking up your Team Fatty gear, maybe consider buying a couple other jerseys and t-shirts as well. Support a small business that is not only designing the most awesome bike clothes out there, but is spending a ton of their money and time doing the right thing.
Q: Do I have to buy a Team Fatty Jersey?
A: Absolutely not. But my bar-none favorite thing to do at the LiveStrong Challenge events is to hang out at the finish line and high-five Team Fatty members as they cross the line. And since the team’s big, if you don’t have a team jersey on, it’s unlikely all recognize you for the awesome person you are.
Q: Are there going to be fundraising contests, like last year?
A: There sure are, and being a fundraising member of Team Fatty improves your chances of winning, since all funds donated to your LiveStrong Challenge page are counted toward your chances of winning.
Of course, hope of winning a prize isn’t the reason we do any of this. But it is a nice little bonus.
Q: Is there any special reason I should join now?
A: Yes there is. Right now — and through this month — registration costs $35. After the end of this month, that cost will go up to $45. So if you join now, you’ll save a little money. Also, you’ll be all set to tell friends and family that if they have been wondering what to get you for Christmas, that joining you in the fight against cancer and making a donation on your page would be a fantastic, meaningful gift.
PS: Got any more questions? Ask them in the comments section and I’ll do my best to answer them either directly below your comment, or I’ll add it to this list.
Comments (115)
11.30.2009 | 8:53 am
Today’s post may be unsafe for work. I’m not sure. Depends on your work, and whether you have someone looking over your shoulder who is very offended by the very thought of certain anatomical realities.
I can safely say, however, that if today’s post had photos, it definitely would be not safe for work. So, a promise from the outset: today’s post will not have photos.
You’re welcome.
With that out of the way, I need to do some disclaiming. Today’s post requires that we acknowledge a part men have that women don’t. Yes, you are correct: today I will, in fact, mention the portion of the male anatomy that is often called a “penis.” Although, to make you more comfortable with this post — I understand some people find the word “penis” offensive and prefer to not ever hear or see the word “penis” at all — I will not use the word “penis” throughout this post. Instead, I will use a codeword for “penis.” The word I will substitute for “penis” throughout this post is “snipe,” which I have chosen because it is an anagram of the word “penis.”
By the way, “pines” is also an anagram of “penis,” but I chose not to use it, because it is plural, which would be confusing. Also, it could be considered unnecessarily metaphorical, not to mention boastful.
So, “snipe” it is. And I’m going to stop putting quotes around the word snipe, because hitting the quote key twice per word so often is a lot of work.
Also, one final disclaimer: I am not just talking about any snipe. I am talking about my snipe. So, if you find you are capable of reading a story about a generic snipe but not about an actual snipe belonging to a beloved, multiple-award-winning cycling blog celebrity, you have two obvious options:
- Stop reading.
- Pretend I’m actually talking about someone else. A fictional someone, even.
You also have an easy third option, which is to read this post and then send me an angry email, saying you simply cannot fathom how I would dare to write about my snipe. But since I am about 1900 email messages in arrears at the present time, your message may not receive the attention it deserves, at least not in a timely manner.
And now, at long last, on to the story.
My Third-Most Painfully Memorable Crash
Among the strange-but-true axioms of mountain biking is this: Slow crashes can be every bit as painful as fast ones. If you’re not moving in the horizontal plane quickly — or at all — your body can take the vertical brunt of your fall in one place.
Thus, while my most painful crash of all — rocketing off the road and down a boulder-strewn embankment — was definitely fast, my second-most painful crash happened at approximately zero miles per hour: I stalled out and fell over sideways while attempting a technical move on Porcupine Rim, and separated my shoulder on impact.
And my third-most painful crash — which is the subject of today’s post and to which I swear I will eventually get around to talking about — was low-speed, as well.
The reason for the crash was quite ordinary, as was the crash itself. Namely, it was an uphill endo.
Specifically, I was climbing Tibble Fork. About a mile and a half up the trail, there is an eight-inch ledge where an exposed root crosses the trail. On its own merits, there’s nothing especially difficult about this ledge. But, since you’ve just done an incredibly difficult 1.5 miles of climbing by the time you get to that ledge, the level of difficulty for cleaning it rises significantly.
Anyway, as I approached the ledge I wheelied to put the front tire over the root and onto the trail beyond.
But not high enough.
My front wheel hit the root solidly, bringing the front of the bike’s momentum to a halt. The front wheel magically became a fulcrum at that moment, levering me up and — partially — over the bike.
I then, naturally, crashed down heavily, landing with my center of gravity — located at that moment at my snipe, alas — on my bike’s stem.
Eventually, I hit the ground. And commenced to writhe. The pain was so overwhelming that I really, honestly, thought I had severed my snipe’s ancillary componentry. I had waves of nausea. I groaned. I expressed interest in dying, right there, just to be done with it.
Looking back, perhaps I should upgrade this crash to second-most painful. I’m pretty sure that, at the moment of impact at least, it hurt worse than separating a shoulder.
After some time — minutes? hours? days? — I found that I no longer wished for death, and found furthermore that I could stand without feeling like I would heave.
And in fact, after verifying that my snipe and all associated hardware were present and — amazingly — intact, I finished the ride.
The Next Day
Aside from some expected soreness, my snipe gave me no special reason to pay attention to it for the rest of the day. And so I did not. Pay it special attention, I mean.
Overnight, however, a change occurred.
The thing is, though, while the change was as startling as it was obvious, it was located in such a place that I could not exactly show it off to strangers in the street. At least, not without legal consequences.
However, there was one person who I knew would appreciate what had happened. And so I called Dug into my office — we both worked in the same building, on the same floor at Novell at the time, and as you may expect accomplished a lot every single day — and said, “You have to see this.”
Then, I made appropriate disclaimers about how what I was about to do should be in no way construed as anything untoward, nor should any undue significance be attributed to said action.
After which I of course showed Dug my snipe.
Which was completely, entirely, and utterly the deepest, darkest purple imaginable.
I had planned to ask Dug whether he thought maybe I should go see a doctor, but I then thought better of it, because Dug was collapsed on the floor, laughing so hard he could not breathe.
To this day, I fear uphill endos more than any other kind of bike crash.
Comments (94)
11.25.2009 | 9:15 am
I am thankful for my kids. They are, in spite of what they have gone through for the past five-plus years, pretty much normal. The boys are both taller and smarter than I am, and help me out in very practical ways. The girls are happy, creative, and are beginning to show some real personality differences, while still maintaining their “twinness.”
I am thankful for the people who took care of my family and me. If it weren’t for my family, the core team, and my neighbors, I would not have come through this last year as intact and sane as I (think I) have.
I am thankful for Team Fatty and LiveStrong and readers of this blog. You gave me a sense of purpose during what would have otherwise been an aimless and purely painful time. Together, we turned something horrible into something big and noble. Thank you.
I am thankful for bicycles. I sometimes ask myself how a machine so inherently simple could have such a permanent grip on my mind and soul? But I never ask myself that question when I’m on a bike, because when I’m riding the answer’s perfectly obvious.
I am thankful for singletrack, and for pavement with wide shoulders. And also for doubletrack and jeep roads and pavement even without shoulders. But especially for singletrack and wide-shouldered pavement. And doubly especially for really smooth pavement.
I am thankful for the letter “L.” Without L, it would be impossible to have a wonderful life. Instead, you’d have a wonderfu ife. Which would not only not be wonderful, it would be downright ridiculous.
Finally, I am thankful for bacon. And avocados. And nonstick cooking surfaces. And apples. And eggs. And worcestershire sauce. And bratwurst. And onions. And peanut butter. And Oreos. And cheese. And steel-cut oats. And bananas. And potatoes. And butter. And sour cream. And salsa. And Cholula. And white bread. And Nutella. And Diet Coke with Lime. And black angus beef. And charcoal briquets. And Ben and Jerry’s New York Super Fudge Chunk. And Kenny’s homemade bread. And rotisserie chicken. And Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. And Gulden’s Spicy Brown Mustard. And mayonaise. And gnocchi. And pumpkin bread. And Mexican food in general, with a special mention going out to tortillas.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Comments (66)
« Previous Page — « Previous Entries Next Entries » — Next Page »
