A Personal Note from Fatty:Before I launch into the (very cool news) about Team Fatty, why you should join and what you can win, I wanted to give you an update on how Susan’s doing, and you’ll be glad to hear it’s mainly good news, in the form of a machine. About a week ago, we got a home Oxygen concentrator, which Susan uses pretty much full time. The difference to her quality of life has been huge. She doesn’t need to sleep as much, she’s more alert when she’s awake, and she sleeps better when she’s asleep (i.e., doesn’t wake up gasping for breath every few minutes). I keep looking for an opportunity to borrow the machine from her for an hour so I can see how I’d feel on the bike afterward. So far, no luck, and for some reason I don’t feel right taking it from her by force.
Team Fatty Starts Today
Today we kick off Team Fat Cyclist: Fighting for Susan (“Team Fatty” for short) for the 2009 LiveStrong Challenge. In case you’re new to the idea or need a reminder, you can read where I announce the team here, but the basic idea is this. If Fat Cyclist readers like you (especially you, in fact) will join my team and work to raise money to fight cancer, we will
Be the largest LiveStrong Challenge team there has ever been.
Raise more money to fight cancer than any team ever has.
Make a legacy for Susan that she will be able to be truly proud of.
Oh, and one more thing. You will have opportunities to win some jaw-dropping prizes, whether you join Team Fatty or help out as a contributor.
Starting today.
Let’s Talk Incentives For A Moment, Shall We?
Whether you want to officially join Team Fatty or just want to contribute, I want to add an element of fun and awesomeness to your efforts, in the form of unbelievably cool prizes.
I have pestered and pestered (and pestered) Tim Jackson — the Masi Guy — forever to give me a Soulville, because . . . well, just look at the damn thing. Holy smokes. It’s gorgeous. No matter how many bikes you have, no matter what kind of riding you do, you can’t help but want a Soulville.
Well, Tim has never caved in and given me one of these bikes, but Masi — and Tim — jumped right on board when I asked them to donate one on behalf of Team Fatty for the LiveStrong Challenge.
And you can win this beauty . . . by helping Team Fatty fight cancer. I’ll explain how in just a minute, but first I need to make you drool some more.
It’s with this third great truth in mind that I’m one giggly mess about announcing that Shimano is donating any Dura-Ace Wheelset you want as a prize. For myself, I think I’d go with the Hi-Profile Carbon Composites:
You know why? Because while the three great truths of road cycling mentioned above are all well and good, there’s another great truth of cycling I think is worth mentioning: Sexy, light, strongwheels are even better than best of all.
And make no mistake: these wheels are — in addition to light and strong — sexy. Quite possibly too sexy for you. But you should still try to win them, and then perhaps you will become sexy enough to have these wheels.
Hey, it’s possible.
Big kudos, props, and high-fives, by the way, to Shimano. This is the third cancer-related fundraiser they’ve been involved with on my blog, and they’ve let me know they’re in for more.
And — you guessed it — in a few minutes I’ll explain how you can win these. But first I need to show you one more cool prize.
First Prize: Lance Armstrong-Autographed Sports Illustrated
Hey, look what an anonymous benefactor sent me.
Yep, it’s a June 11, 2005 issue of Sports Illustrated – the one right before Lance won his seventh Tour — autographed by Lance Armstrong. The magazine’s in excellent condition.
Obviously, you can’t buy this anywhere. But you can win it, by helping Team Fatty fight cancer.
How Can You Win?
I’m giving these prizes away in different ways. Here’s how.
The Masi Soulville 10 : The way you can win this bike is by joining Team Fatty and raising money on your own page. You can register in Austin, San Jose, Seattle, or Philadelphia — as a rider, a runner, or a virtual team member (meaning you aren’t planning to make it to the event). Then, for every $5.00 you raise in your personal fundraising page by Friday, December 12-- whether it’s money you donate or you get someone else to donate — you get a virtual raffle ticket toward the Soulville. Once again, in order to win this bike, you’ve got to be a member of Team Fatty.
Join Team Fatty and raise money on your personal fundraising page. That’s right: every $5.00 raffle ticket you earn toward the Soulville raffle also earns you a ticket toward the Dura-Ace Wheelset raffle. Can you see how it’s a good idea for you to join Team Fatty and start getting your friends and family to start donating onto your fundraising page? Yes, I thought you could.
The Armstrong-AutographedSports Illustrated: You can only win this autographed Sports Illustrated by joining Team Fatty. Every $5.00 you have raised by December 12 gets you a raffle ticket toward this prize.
I’ll do drawings on all three of these prizes the evening of Friday, December 12, and will notify the winners by email right away. Then, once I’ve heard back from them, I’ll announce the winners on Monday, December 15.
How Do You Join Team Fatty?
Oh, it’s really, really easy to join Team Fatty. First, you’ve got to decide which event you want to be part of: Austin, San Jose, Seattle, or Philadelphia. If you’re just planning on fundraising — not attending an event — then pick whichever city you most closely identify with. Then, just follow these steps:
Click one of the below links to go to the Team Fatty page for that city:
Fill out the form. Note that the $50 registration fee is the same, whether you do one of the rides, the run/walk, or join the virtual challenge. Note: TODAY ONLY, you can enter a discount code of LSCREG09 for a $15 discount on the registration. So do it today!
Start fundraising. You’ve got to raise a minimum of $250 to attend the event of your choice.
What Does Team Fatty Expect of You?
How hardcore am I expecting members of Team Fatty to be about fundraising? Well, what I’d ideally like to see is 1,000 of us, each raising $1,000. That would make a million dollars, and that would be unheard of. But, honestly, all I ask is that you make an effort. Tell your friends why this matters to you, and ask them to donate $25.00. Tell your family about how every family is eventually touched by cancer, and ask them each to donate $25.00.
Without really trying very hard, anyone can raise $500. And if you try hard, you can raise $1,000. And if you try really, really hard and raise $2,000, there’ll be something very good in it for you. I’ll explain more very soon. But it will be worth it.
Plus, remember: every time you get someone to donate, your chances go up in the next raffle. And there are going to be a lot of raffles like this.
Being a hard-working member of Team Fatty will definitely have benefits, even if you don’t ever win a raffle. And that’s not even talking about the whole “noble cause” part.
Why Should You Do This TODAY?
If you join the LiveStrong Challenge today (December 1) and enter the discount code LSCREG09, you get $15.00 off the registration fee. So save fifteen bucks and join Team Fatty right this very second.
We Are Just Getting Started
Team Fatty is just kicking off, and frankly I don’t have any idea what I’m doing, yet. But I can tell you this: I have a pretty good-sized spreadsheet now with prizes to raffle off. There’s not a stinker in the bunch, and some of them are going to spin your head and make you sit down for a minute while you collect yourself.
Also, there will be a Team Fatty jersey. And it will be awesome. Twin Six and I are working on it right now.
This whole cancer thing is deadly serious business…but that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun — and win stuff — while we fight it.
Susan and I are looking forward to having you on the team.
A Note from Fatty:This Monday kicks off the 2009 LiveStrong Challenge. I’ll be setting up teams at all four events as soon as I possibly can, and will post on how you can join the team — either with plans to go to the event in person, or to be a virtual team member.
Also, on Monday I will be announcing the beginning of the first LiveStrong Challenge Team Fatty raffle. You’re going to want to check that out, because there are three prizes you are really going to want. Here’s one of them:
Yes, it’s real. And yes, it’s the whole issue. And yes, it’s in great shape. And yes, it has real value as a collector’s item.
You’ll find out what the other two things are you can win in the first (among several) Team Fatty raffles this Monday.
Another Note from Fatty:About this time last year, Mike Roadie — a frequent commenter on this blog — emailed me, asking if I’d help him raise money for the LiveStrong Challenge in 2008. I said I’d be happy to and made a little ad I put in my blog sidebar.
Then, earlier this year, I asked Chuck Ibis if he’d help, too. Chuck and the rest of the great guys at Ibis Cycles and Shimano came through in a big way. And so did Fat Cyclist readers. Together, we raised around $38,000 for the LiveStrong Challenge, in ten days.
Thanks to you, Mike Roadie had more individual donors than any other person in the 2008 LiveStrong Challenge, and that meant he got the VIP treatment at the Ride for the Roses.
And Mike Roadie made sure everyone knew how he got there.
By the way, Mike was the one who came to me this year with the suggestion that we do a Team Fatty in the 2009 LiveStrong Challenge. I’ve come to trust — and like — Mike so much that I immediately agreed. Mike will be acting as my advisor and primary helper in this endeavor, so this is a great chance for you to get to know him a little bit.
Here’s Mike Roadie’s Ride for the Roses report.
Ride for the Roses Weekend, October 2008
I guess since this is Thanksgiving week already, I should start out by saying how thankful I am for all of you out there in fatcyclist.com land. What started out for me as just an overly-hopeful goal of trying to raise more money for The Lance Armstrong Foundation than I did the year before ($15,000+ in 2007) by networking through Elden’s blog, turned out to be the most meaningful few months of my life.
When I went to the LiveStrong Challenge in San Jose back in July, I was amazed to be approached by people who just wanted to shout out to FatCyclist and share their wishes for Susan’s health. I was truly touched by all the folks who wanted to get their picture taken with my “Win Susan” placard, later placed on my helmet during the ride.
The success of LSC San Jose got me invited to the annual Ride for the Roses as a member of the Yellow Jersey Team. The weekend in Austin went to a completely different level! On Friday night, the invitees (as distinguished from riders in general) were taken by bus to a “secret” location for a Welcome to Texas Dinner. Because of my wife’s travel schedule, I was not able to attend, but FC.com was well represented by Medium Brad and Clydesteve. I went to last year’s dinner, so I was OK with missing Willie Nelson playing for our private group at the famous Salt Lick BBQ…..are you kidding me?!?!? Oh well, there was plenty of weekend still to come!
On Saturday morning there was the LSC 5K race, which ran down Congress Street from the Capitol Building. I ran it in 2007, so I just decided to watch the pain on everyone’s faces as they ran and walked at 7:30 in the morning. If you have never been to Austin, it has a fabulous bar, music, restaurant, nightclub scene that could ruin anybody’s Saturday morning!
Following the run, the Yellow Jersey and Polka Dot Jersey teams were bussed out to the Hill Country to a private ride with Lance and a lunch. With police escort we rode in a peloton behind Lance, and then came up one by one for a chat and some photos. Here I am giving him some fitness pointers and a rah-rah about racing next season:
Believe me, the guy is totally ripped and ready to tear up the races next year! After the ride, I was able to give him a FatCyclist t-shirt and exchange a few words about how much the LAF has meant to me by giving me a way to channel my energies to help others.
Saturday night brought the awards program dinner; an always emotional and motivational discussion of how much we still have to do in the fight against cancer. This year, the focus has turned to what we also can do on a global stage, where healthcare is even more behind in this battle. The amazing thing was that, just as I had done in San Jose, Brad won the Messenger Award for having the most donors to his site for the Austin ride! Even better, I was recognized for having the most individual donors for the whole series (the four event cities), so we both got speak in front of the crowd. Brad talked about his inspiration from his mom’s fight (WIN Diane!) and I represented the FatCyclist.com community. Lance presented me with an autographed and framed poster for the award:
And I got to make a presentation back to him:
Now he can be a winner and stylish!!!
A good portion of Sunday morning’s ride was spent by me trying to catch up to Clydesteve after being left in the dust by my new protégé, Mr. Armstrong. He was probably finished, showered, massaged and had eaten by the time I crossed the finish line…..but I was still smiling!
It was a great time for a great cause and I hope that many of you will join us in 2009 by joining Team Fatty and making the biggest impact the LAF has ever seen!!!!
It’s been pointed out to me that every Thanksgiving (or possibly more often) I take the time to blog about how I make the best mashed potatoes in the world. Well, this year I’m not going to.
And I’m also not going to go on and on about how the excruciating process I go through to make the Banana Cream Parfait results in what is widely regarded as the best dessert in the world.
Instead, I’m going to take a few minutes — like I did last year — to list a few of the things I’m thankful for.
Susan
Yesterday I was thinking: When was the last time Susan felt really normal? Well, she was originally diagnosed with cancer about five years ago, so at least that long.
Except five years ago the twins had just turned two — and any parent with twins knows that those first two years aren’t exactly restful. And then of course, before the twins were born Susan was pregnant with them, which was a major ordeal, too.
So: the last time Susan felt really healthy that I remember was about eight years ago. In fact, I remember the last weekend of when she felt healthy: She and I went to Moab to do a charity run (yes, run). I did the half-marathon, she did the five-miler. She remarked afterward that she felt kind of tired during the run. The next Monday, we would find out she was pregnant (we wouldn’t find out about the twin part for a while afterward).
Eight years. That’s just not fair. And yet, she’s dealt with it and continued to take care of us and be exactly the kind of mom and wife her family needs.
Now, of course, I take care of her, and I’m thankful for the chance to repay her a little.
My Kids
While I am writing this, my twins are sitting on the kitchen floor, drawing and singing made-up songs. The twins are always together, taking care of each other and working as a team in ways that nobody but twins (and maybe parents of twins) can even begin to understand.
Last night, the boys — without my asking them to — made dinner, read to Susan, and put the girls to bed. Seeing that I need help, they’ve jumped right in.
I’ve got great kids. I’m thankful for who they are. I should also be thankful to Susan for how they’re turning out, too. Credit where credit’s due.
My Family
It’s funny how when things get really bad I just assume my parents are going to be there to help. I guess that’s an assumption I make easily, because — if they can be — they are. My dad’s in Portugal right now and can’t easily come back home, but my Mom moves heaven and earth to come out and help. And Susan’s mom — in spite of the fact that she has her own mother to take care of — finds a way to come over and help, too.
And then there are my sisters.
When I was a kid, I used to privately feel cheated. Four sisters? Why did I have to have four sisters?
And now I am so glad I have these four sisters. Each as different as can be, but similar in that they are all very strong, practical, smart, and ready to help.
My Neighbors
Not a single day goes by that I don’t lean on my neighbors in some way. They’ve taken my portion of the carpooling to school. They take care of doing the twins’ hair before school. They come over to hang out with Susan. They’ve come and spent the night when I needed to take Susan to the emergency room. They moved stuff and rearranged my living room under vague instructions with no warning to make a new bedroom for Susan.
These are all people who have their own kids, their own jobs, their own troubles. But they make time every day to help us out.
I am very thankful for my neighbors.
The Core Team
I’ve been riding with the same group of guys for about fifteen years now. These are the guys I would rather ride with, eat with, and go on a road trip with than anyone else in the world. It still seems amazing to me that I have such a great group of friends, and that furthermore we all like doing the same stuff.
When I write this blog, I picture the core team as the people reading it. So, if you like this blog, chances are you’d like the guys in the core team. I’m pretty sure my logic is flawed, yet I remain confident in my conclusion.
My Co-Workers
This will make your head explode, but it’s a true story.
A few months ago, my boss told me he had just finished working with our HR person to put a new policy into place: a “vacation donation” program. The idea is that employees can donate their vacation days to another employee.
As soon as this program was announced, employees throughout the company donated about three months worth of vacation days to me.
Wrap your mind around that, if you can. I still have a hard time grasping it, myself.
So: I’m thankful for a good job, for the kind and smart people I work with, a company culture that promotes generosity, and for a CEO that treats his employees like family.
You: My Blog Neighborhood
When Jodi flew out to help take care of my family for a few days, she did it using frequent-flier points gifted by one of you. When Lori flies out next month, she’ll be using frequent flier points from that same person.
When Susan rides in her wheelchair, I remember every time that it was a gift from one of you — an owner of a medical supplies store.
When I got the stair chair setup and the electric scooter, that was using money I got because you bought Fat Cyclist jerseys.
You have sent hundreds of cards. You have sent thousands of email messages.
You have offered to help in every way possible, and several that are not possible.
You have stuck with me as this blog has gone from silly to serious to occasionally desperate.
So, finally: I’m thankful for you.
Happy Thanksgiving, whether you’re in the U.S., or not.
PS: I didn’t plan it this way, but this year my gratitude list consists of nothing but people. So, if you feel like it, keep up the theme by leaving a comment describing someone you’re thankful for, and why.
Dear Everyone Who’s Been Taking Turns Staying at Our House Lately,
First of all, I wanted to offer my thanks. You’ve all been really wonderful. Your competence, kindness, and compassion have been practically without limit.
But many of you — no, make that every single one of you — have offered (repeatedly) to do anything else in your power to help out, and the truth is, there is one small thing I’d really appreciate if you could do.
I need you to start acting like helping out is hard work. No, not just hard work. Exhaustingly hard work that has taken you right up to your limit, flew right by that limit, orbited the world, and then finished up by flying up behind you and kicking you in the butt.
Do it for me. My reputation’s at stake.
You see, about a third of the time, there isn’t anyone here to help me take care of Susan, the kids, and the house; I handle it all solo. And after about 48 hours of this I start looking for ways to have a debilitating accident. You know, just so I can sit down for a stretch.
And then you breeze in, clean up the place, fix nutritious meals, get the kids off to school, and then have a nice, meaningful chat with Susan.
And you make it look easy.
Then, when it’s time for you to head back home and I grab onto your leg and try to prevent you from leaving and then eventually pull myself together enough to say something like, “Thanks for everything; I couldn’t have made it through this week without you,” you twist the knife by saying, “Oh, it was easy and fun. Kind of a vacation, really.”
And then you leave and I turn around and walk back into the house and everyone stares at me until someone comes out and says it: “See, nobody thinks this is hard but you.”
So here’s what I’m going to need you to do next time you visit:
Reduce the home-cooked meals ratio. When I’m in charge of meals, a Subway sandwich counts as a home-cooked meal, because, well a sandwich from there is no different than if I made the sandwich myself, right? I’m just saving a little time by not having to cut up the vegetables, that’s all. So when you go and turn on the stove, it makes me look like a fool. Order some pizza or have everyone eat cereal for dinner or something. Otherwise you’re just setting unreasonable expectations going forward.
Get irritable over something trivial. I recommend telling the kids that the local post-meal cleanup union has, sadly, gone on strike, meaning they’re going to have to do their own dishes for once. Or tell the twins that somebody told the Cleanup Fairy that he didn’t believe in her, and so she vanished, and now they’re going to have to start cleaning up their own room. My kids never get tired of obtuse sarcasm.
Wander around, looking overwhelmed. I recommend going into the kitchen, standing there for a minute looking lost, then going back to Susan’s room, then remembering what you needed from the kitchen. Repeat 74 times per day.
Lie when it’s time to go. The truth is, folks, I’m not really interested in whether you had a great time with everyone (except me, for I am currently not a pleasant person to be around) while you were here. I need you to tell me, when it’s time to go, how next time you come you’re going to bring a few extra people along, just to keep up with the — frankly impossible — workload. Tell me you don’t know how I do it all by myself. Tell me you are going to go to a spa for a week just to get the kinks in your back and knots in your muscles worked out. Feel free to get expansive on this. Elaborate freely.
In short, everyone, I spend about 30% of my time on the verge of panic. By taking over and making this look easy you’re undercutting my main sympathy tactic. Don’t do that to me.
Finally, if maybe you could call each other and talk a little bit about how amazing it is that I manage as well as I do, and how, frankly, you just about lost it from the constant demands put on you, I’d very much appreciate it. I promise, it’ll get back to me (everything any of you says always does; that’s the way our family and friends network is).
In advance, thank you for your attention to this matter.
Kind Regards,
Elden Nelson / The (Increasingly) Fat Cyclist
PS: Seriously, everyone who’s been keeping me (more or less) off the ledge: thanks.
PPS: Oh, and while you’re at it, if one of you could figure out who all these casserole dishes ought to be returned to, I’d really appreciate that. Because I personally have no idea.
A Note From Fatty:Today’s guest post is byAlex, the VP of Sales at the company where I work. He’s also a fast cyclist — the kind who wins races and stuff — and has the kind of sense of humor that lets him include slides like this in the middle of his presentations to the entire company.
What didn’t click for me — until just recently — is that he may well have been separated at birth from Bill Nye the Science Guy (same height, same build, same friendly enthusiasm, same rapidfire delivery). Alex’s Blog — Watching the World Wake Up — is definitely a cyclist’s blog, but it’s full of all kinds of interesting science. He’s made genuine botanical discoveries while riding. He knows all the plants and animals in the area, and interesting stuff about them. And even if you don’t care about those things, you’ll still like his blog: Alex (like his estranged twin Bill Nye) keeps it light fun. I just added his blog to my blogroll. You should go check it out.
I’m not a big worrier, but like most everybody, there are several things that I really hope don’t happen to me. Some of these things are losing my job, or my kids getting kicked out of school, or my wife running away with my next-door neighbor. (Not that I would really blame her; he really is better-looking and much nicer than me.)
But right at the top of my list is this: I really don’t want to get killed and eaten by a wild animal. And the reason I think about this is from time to time I either see a mountain lion, or recent evidence of a mountain lion, while biking.
Tuesday morning for example, about ½ way up Dry Creek, I saw this- picked over carcass, little left of this deer except for spine and rib cage, which is classic cougar-kill. I think about mountain lions because they’re most active at dawn and dusk, and at this time of year more than ½ of my biking is at dawn, before work. When I go out, 3 or 4 times a week at dawn, I’m always the first guy on the trail. Sometimes I see another biker or a trail-runner on the way home, but I never see anybody on the way out, and oftentimes I don’t see anyone else for the whole ride.
Over the past 20 years, there have been more and more human-cougar encounters across the West, and several of these have been fatal (initially for the human, usually later for the cat as well.) In 2004 a mountain biker was apparently killed and partially eaten in California. And so here’s the uncomfortable reality I’m facing: as quite possibly the most consistent, frequent dawn-mountain-biker on the Wasatch Front, if a mountain biker’s going to be killed and eaten in Utah, it’s probably going to be me.
So here’s what I’m doing about it.
Although cougar attacks on people are still (thankfully) pretty rare, there’s a place in the world where big cats kill and eat people pretty much every other week. In the Sundarban Islands in India, about two dozen people get killed and eaten by tigers every year. Over the past few decades the local villagers have tried lots of tricks to dissuade tigers from attacking them, but probably the most effective has been this: they wear masks on the backs of their heads. Tigers, like most cats, always prefer to attack their prey from behind. Villagers who wear the masks when out and about in the jungle get attacked way less often than those who don’t.
Now I’m no feline-ologist, but a cat’s a cat, and since I don’t have any better ideas it occurred to me to try a similar approach here in Utah with mountain lions. There is however, a limit to the level of both discomfort and bad fashion I am willing to endure in the name of safety, so wearing a Dick Nixon mask on the back of my head for example, is right out. But I do have some spare real-estate on the back of my helmet, and here’s what I’ve done with it:
So far I can report 100% effectiveness with this prevention method; I have ridden once with the eyes on the back of my helmet, and been attacked zero times. Now since Fatty’s blog is all about service and sharing, I figure the least I could do is to provide his loyal readers with similar protection. So just print out the eyes below, cut them out and secure to the rear of your helmet with clear tape.
Of course, not all of you are brown-eyed, and so I have included a blue pair for your convenience, should you prefer.
And also a green pair.
And lastly, for you stoners out there, a bloodshot pair.
Now, It may have occurred to the astute reader that a big, wily cat — like a tiger of mountain lion — might eventually get hip to the mask trick. And sadly, this indeed appears to be the case; over a period of several years, the efficacy of the masks in the Sundarbans diminished. But since the rate of big cat-attacks in the Western US is about 1% of that in India, I figure this one shtick should last me until I’m too creaky to get up and ride at dawn anymore.
And the next generation can come up with their own dumb gimmick.
